Saturday, December 8, 2007
PRECAUTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!!!
Please pass this around to teens & young adults….
At first glance, it may seem that this unnecessary - that anyone who loves God could not possibly consider spending their whole life married to someone who doesn't! This, unfortunately, is not the case. I receive letters daily from women who are desperately trying to serve God in a full and complete way, but are unable to do so because their husband loves and serves the world. I am addressing this article to Christian women in particular, because in my counseling experience, they seem to make this mistake much more, frequently than men do. However, the problems and the principles I will be talking about can obviously be applied to any Christian thinking of marrying (or for that matter even dating ) someone who doesn't love Jesus with all of their heart. (This article is for single Christians who still have the "dating" and marriage question ahead of them.)
I'm not exactly sure who came up with the term "missionary dating," but I love it because it so appropriately paints the picture. Imagine this - a young girl, full of zeal for God, goes to a remote tribe of natives somewhere to evangelize the lost. She ends up having a special burden for the chief's handsome young son. He seems interested in God, and so she starts spending quite a bit of time with him in hopes of winning him to the Lord. Then, before you know it, her friends at the Missionary Society receive a postcard saying that she is getting married and won't be coming back. Was he converted? Well, not really - but she has full confidence that he will be shortly. Meanwhile, she's happily getting ready to set up housekeeping in his hut full of idols (which, of course, she wouldn't think of worshipping), and dreaming of the wonderful future they will have together. If you heard of a situation like this, what would you think about this girl's chances for real happiness - or her professed love for the Lord? Her actions certainly seem to contradict the very things she says she believes in.
I think it's safe to say that every marriage starts out with a simple date. Many Christians are deceived when it comes to this. They feel all right about dating an unbeliever, just as long as it doesn't "get too serious." They may think, "Well, one or two dates can't hurt any one. Besides, maybe I can lead him to the Lord. I just want to have some fun right now, but when it comes to settling down, I will definitely marry a Christian." Then lo and behold, the next thing they know they have "fallen in love," and are desperately trying to rationalize their relationship and their upcoming marriage - to themselves, to their friends, and to God. I say this: Any Christian foolish enough to date an unbeliever is foolish enough to marry one!
Marriage is the biggest and most important decision you will make after your decision to follow Jesus. And as I said before, all marriages start out with a "first date." One of the main problems is that too many Christians approach the idea of dating with far too casual an attitude. They have adopted the world's view on this, instead of God's. There is no such thing as "playing the field" when it comes to Christianity.
Sure it gets lonesome sometimes, but remember, every date has the potential of becoming a lifelong relationship. Spending time with the wrong person is opening yourself up to becoming emotionally involved to a point where it is not always so easy to turn and walk away. Once you have given your heart and your emotions to someone, you will be surprised at how difficult it is to have the desire to take them back - even if you know you should. Here is part of a typical letter I have recently received from a young Christian girl. She has already been counseled and encouraged to do the right thing, but I wanted to share her predicament with you:
"I'm 16 and the daughter of missionaries here in the Middle East. I've had a really close walk with the Lord, and He has been good to me in so many ways. But I met a guy at school. He's not a Christian, and we've been going out for over three months. At the time, I believed it was fine, unless we married, which of course I have no intention of doing because he isn't a Christian. But lately I've spoken with someone who told me it was wrong, and that I should never have gone out with him in the beginning.
"This evening he came over while I was listening to the new tape of Keith's. Afterwards we were talking, and he laughed at all the 'weird Jesus, and dumb Christian songs' that I listen to. I let him know I was hurt by the way he laughed about the name of Jesus, and now I really feel bad inside because of it, and I feel we should end our relationship. But it's very hard because we really like each other a lot, and I'm afraid my witness will all go down the drain if we break up. I'm really asking the Lord for wisdom now. If you have a few spare minutes you could remember me in prayer." - Kept Anonymous
Don't wait until it's too late. The time to ask Jesus for wisdom is before you start a relationship - not after. It is much easier than you think for your heart to overrule your conscience. Once your own desires are demanding priority, your zeal to put God first starts to quickly fade away. Your emotions are a powerful thing, and if you don't control them, they will control you! (Jer. 17:9)
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers " (II Corinthians 6:14)
In the Bible, Jesus (and here, Paul) gave many illustrations using agriculture and animals as examples, since these were common things to everyone in that day. So what does it mean to be unequally yoked? Picture if you will, two oxen tied together at the neck by a wooden crosspiece so they can pull a plow. They are two animals of the same species who have been joined together to do a specific job. They have been carefully trained to respond to the same commands, and once they are united, they are considered to be a team. A wise farmer picks two animals of similar size, strength, and temperament because he knows they will work the best together. If one of them needed to be whipped before he would move, and the other one was terrified at even the sight of a whip, it would seem unwise to tie them together and expect them to work as a team. One "teammate" would frantically try to run away, while the other one would stubbornly refuse to budge. In fact, if two like this were joined together, it seems that disaster might be at hand - with possible damage to the equipment, hurt and confusion to the "teammates", and of course, the work would never get done.
Our beloved Jesus is the wisest and most loving "Farmer" in all the universe. He knows that we would never be happy if we were bound to someone who was pulling us in the opposite direction from where we wanted to go. Our life would be one continual tug of war, and we would never be able to get on with the work that we were called to do. That is why He commanded us to marry "only in the Lord." (I Cor. 7:39) If we are going to serve God in our marriage, then both partners must be in agreement about the job that needs to get done, how it's going to be accomplished, and who they are going to be taking their orders from. It is really very simple. I guess that's why it constantly amazes me that so many choose to ignore God's wisdom, thinking in vain that "it will all work out fine in the end."
The Dating Game
I think it should be becoming increasingly clear to you that dating is not to be done lightly - nor without God's approval! This doesn't mean that you have to feel called to marriage with someone before you can spend any time together - but you must be able to see the qualities of a sincere lover of God in this person, and the fruit of their faith should be evident for all to see. If they pass this most crucial test, you still must seek God to see if it's all right to take the time to get to know this person better. You should seek the Lord privately on this - that is, not with the person you are interested in. That way, if God says "No," no one will be hurt. I am assuming you have already spent time with this person in group situations - but a deeper relationship should only be entered into if and when the Lord gives you His express permission. If you are afraid to hear a possible "No" from God, then you are not seeking His will, but your own. This should be an immediate danger signal that something is wrong, and you shouldn't make a move until you get your heart right with the Lord.
Does all that sound a little strict to you? Well, just ask someone who has chosen the wrong mate due to a lack of patience, counsel, and prayer. They will tell you that they wish someone would have told them the same things I am now telling you. So many are bound in miserable, unhappy marriages because they ignored Jesus and let their own desires drown out the voice of God. They have learned their lesson the hard way, and now it is too late for them to turn back and start over. Marriage is for a lifetime. Once a mistake is made, you can't turn around and say, "We got married out of God's will, so now we'll just get a divorce!" It doesn't work that way. The Bible tells us that if our unbelieving mates consent to remain with us, then we must not send them away. (I Cor. 7:12-13)
Why even put yourself in the position of possibly making the wrong decision? Since God's Word commands us not to be "unequally yoked," it is foolish and openly rebellious to even consider it. You will be headed towards almost certain disaster if you lean to your own understanding instead of trusting God and taking Him at His word.
Values, Goals, And Motivations
When I became a Christian, my whole life was turned upside - down. I could no longer deal with things in the same way that I had before, because God's way was different. Everything changed. I made an abrupt "about-face" and had to sit down and re-evaluate every aspect of my life. One of the first things I noticed was that my reasons for doing things had changed. I was motivated by a love for God and a desire to please Him, instead of my own selfish desires. As I drew closer to God, He revealed His heart to me, and I found that some of the things that had meant a lot to me were no longer important. And other things, on which I had put little or no value, began to sparkle and shine like jewels. My eyes looked towards eternity instead of focusing on the temporary things of this world. I truly think my heart would have been broken if I had not been able to share my excitement, joy, and love of God with my most beloved here on earth - my husband.
Lack Of True Intimacy
"...For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (II Cor. 6:14)
When it comes right down to it, someone who loves Jesus just doesn't have that much in common with someone who doesn't. Sure, you may enjoy the same hobbies, or be engaged in the same type of work - but when it comes to the things that really matter, you will be miles apart. In a marriage, when that first rush of excitement wears off, you will find yourself yearning for the true intimacy and oneness that can only be experienced with someone of "like mind." You will be unfulfilled and strangely lonesome in this closest of all partnerships if, due to different beliefs, you cannot experience true intimacy. Neither of you would be able to share the deepest longings of your heart with each other, because your whole basis of looking at life - your very reasons for living - would be totally different. Your hearts and lives could never be truly united because there would be no common bond to draw you together and keep you together.
When I speak of marriage, I am speaking of a lifelong commitment to love, honor, cherish, and obey - till death do you part! How could you even consider making such a deep and binding commitment to someone who doesn't love Jesus? As a Christian, you have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to govern your life. But the Bible tells us that those without Jesus have the world, the flesh, and the devil to direct theirs. These are the very things we as Christians are told to overcome. (I John 2:14-17) How can you hope to overcome that which you have married, committed, and submitted your life to?
Marry Now-Reform Later
Many Christian girls seem to be pacified by the fact that their unbelieving boyfriend doesn't seem to object to their Christianity. Even though he doesn't believe like she does, he seems extremely tolerant and even goes to church with her sometimes. He really is a very nice guy, and his biggest vice is drinking a few beers with the boys while watching football. She figures if she marries him, they will have a lot more time together, and then she can really "work on him" and get him saved. Sadly enough, she will find that it's not as easy as she thought it would be. Eventually, her husband's acceptance of her Bible Studies and Christian friends starts to wear thin, and the tension between them begins to take its toll on their marriage. Most girls don't realize that if they are not strong enough to resist the temptation of marrying an unbeliever, they probably aren't strong enough to ever win him to the Lord!
"Conversions" Of Convenience
Sometimes in order to marry a Christian girl, a fellow will "make a commitment" to Jesus because he knows he has to. He'll start going to church just to make her happy. In fact, he may even be sincerely trying to "get into it." But if it is not a decision arising from seeing his own need for God, then it is meaningless and will be short-lived. His "commitment" usually starts to fade some time after they get married - when it's no longer necessary for him to put his best foot forward.
I never trust a "conversion" of this type, and I consistently tell all those I counsel to let this fellow prove his commitment on his own. That is, to follow Jesus not by his girlfriend's side, but to get to church or Bible Study on his own steam, not on a date. If he proves to be sincere, growing, and firmly planted in Jesus, then after several months, she can start to pray and seek the Lord about the possibility of entering into a deeper relationship. The problem is, most girls don't have the patience to test the fruit. As soon as "Mr. Right" even looks like he's about to utter a sinner's prayer, she's off picking out towels, dishes, and bridesmaid dresses.
The Second Law Of Thermodynamics
In science, the Second Law of Thermodynamics essentially states that as time passes, anything that's left on its own will deteriorate. Things left on their own will not be built up, but they will eventually break down. In other words, as time goes by, things get worse, not better - and a life, left on its own without God, will get worse. You never know what's around the corner. People who have married "occasional drinkers" have later found themselves married to alcoholics a couple of years down the road. You can't judge the future by the present circumstances when you are dealing with someone who has chosen to go his own way in life. If you have the Lord, you should be able to expect growth and maturity. If you don't have the Lord, you won't know what to expect. This isn't the old "marijuana leads to heroin" story of a few years back - but sin does lead to more sin - and a life that is not willingly yielded to Jesus and guided by His loving hand could end up anywhere... doing anything!
I think one of the hardest aspects of a marriage where the partners are unequally yoked is the feeling of competition between them. However subtle or unspoken it may be, the competition is felt. As a believer, your values and ideals will constantly be challenged as you live out your day-to-day life. The unbeliever will always be trying to prove (consciously or unconsciously) that he is just as happy as you are, without having any so-called "religious experience"...and you will, of course, want to show him that actually you possess the greater peace and fulfillment through knowing God. You will have no spiritual leadership or support during times of trials, and your faith will be undermined, not encouraged. And eventually, as the competition grows stronger, your mate will probably get tired of competing with your friends, your church, and your God for your attention and your love.
A believer, when put in this position, is many times tempted to compromise her faith in order to maintain a peaceful marriage. She can no longer serve the Lord in an open and free way because, if she does, her marriage may fall apart. What a terrible spot to be in! When you start to compromise, your walk with God becomes weak and undernourished. You will be guilty for your lack of obedience to God, which will tend to push you even further away from Him than you already are.
After awhile, frustration sets in for both of you because neither one is really free to do the things that make you happy. You don't have someone to love Jesus with, and he doesn't have someone to love the world with. He doesn't enjoy your friends and activities, and you don't really enjoy his. You are longing for someone to share your joy in Christ-and he is getting different types of longings. He may even start to think that if you won't go out and have his kind of fun, maybe he'll find someone else who will! As you can imagine, in a situation like this, the pressure really starts to build.
Because you are both being held back from the things you want to do, bitterness and resentment enter into the picture, putting an even bigger distance between the two of you and causing more problems. In many situations, once the resentment does set in, the unbelieving mate just may have learned enough Scripture from you to hurl it like tiny bullets of truth to pierce your heart. After all, the Bible is true. And even though he may not believe it, he knows that you do - and he may love to see you crumble under conviction, condemnation, or confusion from his attacks upon you and your faith. The Word of God is a powerful tool... even in the hands of the unrighteous.
You may think I have painted an unrealistic picture of the ruin of a marriage, but I have read hundreds of letters - all full of the "same story." It's almost impossible for a marriage like this to survive (and they usually don't) unless the believer compromises his or her faith almost to the point of having none. So it's not only the probable death of a marriage I am talking about, but a possible spiritual death as well. I believe that's why the Bible gives us such a strong warning against a union of this kind.
The Proper Balance
Usually, those who want to hang onto their "right" to continue on in the same way with their old friends and their old lifestyle say, "But, I'm not supposed to isolate myself and associate only with Christians!" Well of course you re not. We are the "salt of the earth," seasoning the world with the love of Jesus. (Matt. 5:13,16) The world and the people in it need Christians. How else will they ever find out about the only True Love that exists? But you mustn't ever forget that although we are in the world, we are never to be a part of it. We must always be careful to keep our eyes on the Lord and immediately flee any situation that may cause us to stumble and fall away from our heavenly calling. (II Tim. 2:22)
Too many Christians use the excuse of "winning their friends to the Lord" to keep one foot in the world, and so themselves remain partakers of worldly pleasures. God knows our hearts. If your friends or associates are causing your love for God to "cool off," it is far better to sacrifice that friendship, than to sacrifice your relationship with Jesus. No relationship on earth is more important than your relationship with your Father in heaven. If you are not strong enough to resist temptation, then admit it and stay away from it. Don't worry about "your witness." If you fall away after knowing and preaching the truth, your onIy witness will be a bad one anyway!
One thing people don't usually think about when they first get married is having children. Usually it's the furthest thing from your mind as you're walking down the aisle. But somewhere down the line, you will probably want to start a family. But what is "a family"? Is it the mere presence of children that qualifies you as a family, or is it something else? A family unit as I see it consists of a group of people bound together by love, a sense of loyalty, and a sincere desire to see each other reach their fullest possible potential and purpose in God. Most traditionally, it consists of Mom, Dad, and some kids, although it can be larger or smaller according to circumstance or the leading of the Lord.
One thing for sure, where there is no unity, there can be no "family." Sure you can all live under one roof, but a common dwelling place does not a family make. In an unequally yoked marriage, there will only be confusion and chaos in the home. Without the common bond of love for Jesus, there can be no unity. If the parents do not agree on how to raise their children, the children will raise themselves. If the parents have different standards for their children in the areas of discipline, responsibility, and acceptable behavior and attitudes, then the children will play one parent against the other to get their own way - and the parents will end up arguing over the results. Of course, the children are the real losers in these battles, although they may not realize it at the time. A home like this will be in constant turmoil, and will be a very unhappy place for all who live there, parents and children alike.
If there is no agreement in the home about who God is, and what our response to Him should be, then it is very difficult for children to learn how to know and love Him. If our children are getting a different message from each parent, they will constantly be confused and forced to "take sides."
The greatest factor in our children learning about God is through the example we set for them. Children usually transfer their feelings and impressions of their earthly father over to their idea of who God is. If their father is a righteous man and exercises godly judgment balanced with love and encouragement, then their image and understanding of God will most likely be good. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21) If he is unfair in his judgments, or an agnostic or indifferent to God, then they will have a hard time (even as an adult) seeing God's true nature and character.
What an unfair burden to put on a tiny child. It will not only cost him his memories of a happy and peaceful childhood - but in the end, it may cost him his very soul. Let's not even think of putting ourselves, not to mention our innocent children, through such pain and unhappiness as to bring them up in a household of strife and confusion.
If you are thinking of marrying an unbeliever, do you have the unrealistic expectation of raising your children for God when you can't even submit something as important as your marriage to Him? I would say that the prospect is highly unlikely, at best.
Those Christians who enter into marriage with an unbeliever will never experience the fullness and richness of marriage as God intended it to be. They will never enjoy true intimacy or the blessing of a family united by the common bond of Jesus' love. In fact, instead of experiencing that common bond (or "bonding") of love, they will experience the "common bondage" of frustration and discontent that may lead to separation or divorce. For True Love is only possible when you know God, and when you can have His unselfish, uncompromising love for others, putting them above yourself. All else pales in comparison to the real thing. Don't be foolish. Don't settle for anything less than God's very best for you. If you are called to marriage, God has a perfect partner for you. But beware, the enemy is a matchmaker too.
Trust the Lord, walk in obedience, and He will meet your needs in His way and in His timing. Lean to your own understanding and insist on your own way and watch out - you just may get what you are looking for! You may also live to regret it. Trust God. He will never lead you astray.
In closing, I want to say that if you are now in a relationship with an unbeliever, or if you have been in the past (while professing to be a Christian), I think you'd better examine your heart before the Lord. If you can find peace and contentment in a relationship with someone who doesn't love God, then you must ask yourself how much you really love Him. After all, if you find you have more in common with those who walk in darkness... it may be because you are both walking down the same path! (I John 1:6-7; John 3:21)
Don't deceive yourself. A sincere lover of God would never knowingly be joined to a lover of the world. Don't even think about submitting your life in marriage to a godless partner - that is, unless it won't bother you to live a godless life. Please pray about all that we have talked about and be quick to respond to the things God has spoken to your heart. I love you very much, and I pray that you will reach the highest potential possible in Christ Jesus as you obey Him in all things. May God bless you as you seek Him.
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Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I'm not talking about races / being racism about this but my question is:
What will they be facing? What would their lives be? What about both sides' parents? Are they able to live in harmony? Will the guy fit into the girl's family? Will the girl fit into the guy's family?
I myself don't know the answer. This question is quite subjective.
To me, I just have this hope, that if it comes from God, it's gonna work. There will be obstacles along the way but I know that if God permits and it's from God, everything will fall into place.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Finished exam @ 2.00pm, last paper, then terus rush back to Serdang to pack, mandi and then rush back to Church which is in Kuchai Lama. Reached LCCT @ 5.30pm. Boarded the 7.00pm flight to Miri. Got a lil bit delayed, therefore reach there at 10.00pm and Pastor John Chee, Aunty Tracy (Pastor's wife) and Reuben picked us up from Miri Airport and terus go to Hai Ma Restaurant to savour my first "Mee Kolok". Hohoho. After that, went back to Pastor John's house and call it a day.
Woke up at 7.00am, and had breakfast at a restaurant, ate Mee Kolok again for that morning and after that, went to SIB Canada Hill, to check out that place because tonight is the starting of the RELENTLESS 2007 Conference. Eugene, Mark and me are going to perform our first item for the night. We went to a shopping complex, and then makan their pizza at Pizza Haven (not bad, their toppings are more generous than Pizza Hut). Then the night came and that's the start of RELENTLESS 2007: RUNNING WITH FIRE. After the worship session, we had our first item performed. And then, Pastor Daniel spoke. We call it a night after that.
Siok sendiri di dalam van.
Wake up @ 6.00am in the morning, it looked like 7.00am actually, haha. Had a simple breakfast(roti canai), which was not bad, and then went to SIB Canada Hill for the 2nd day of the workshop. Then we stop around 1.00pm to have our lunch, which is nasi ayam. After that, sambung balik and around 4.00pm, we reach Pastor John's house for a quick shower and cabut back to Canada Hill Church (CHC) for the night consert. We didn't have any items to perform this night so it was quite relaxed.
The future generation.
The Leaders of tomorrow. =D
Forgot their nicknames ady, given by Eugene. Haha.
Stay tuned for more updates ya. =D
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Kinda nervous coz I'm going to MIRI today! WOOHOO! Don't really know what to expect also, what people to meet, new friends that I'm going to make. =)
I do pray that God will use me as a blessing to them and use them to bless my life back. I know I'll never be the same again, not the same old TERENCE @ CHINGZ that you guys noe :P
Feeling kinda down actually since 2 days back, for what reason, that's personal. Maybe because I don't really know how to express myself in words, and doubt that even after I express it, the other party won't really care about me. Haha, why do I need other people to care bout me feelings? Especially her? Somehow just felt that, what I'm doing right now is not so right, as in, being the best of me for her, in everything... I should be the best for God and not for humans... Don't know la... complicated stuff. Only God knows. Let God keep this for me, I don't want to think about it, not denying but just wanna get some peace sahaja =)
Lawak betul... I should be thankful and grateful that God is so faithful to me, and I am thankful and grateful for that. =)
If in the future I found someone that is as faithful as God to me and someone that loves me unconditionally but still loves God more than she loves me, I am grateful, I am thankful, and I can give her everything that I have. Hmm...
If I didn't find one, then I'll become a Christian "sami" ady, haha, tak mau kahwin, serve God, and then tunggu mati :P
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Alvin(not his real name) invited his ex, Cassie(not her real name either) to church a long time ago because Cassie hasn't been attending church for the past few months and Alvin thought that this is not healthy to her, as a brother in Christ that cares for her, he kept on urging her to come to church.
One day, Cassie decided to drop by, of course, Alvin was happy that she's coming and wanted to talk to her to catch up and see how is she coping right now. At the mean time, Brianna(not her real name), someone that Alvin is interested in at the current moment, went back to her hometown and doesn't know about this.
Suddenly, Alvin got a message from Brianna, telling him how she is back in her hometown. Alvin was excited to get a message from Brianna, as always, and decided to tell her in return what has happened that day to Brianna. Brianna was telling Alvin that she wasn't feeling quite well but that night, she was okay, as in, she felt better.
As Alvin was messaging Brianna, he told her about his ex, Cassie, came to church. He was excited to share this as he thought it won't do any harm because what's past is past as Alvin and Cassie, both know that they won't get back together anyway.
After that, Brianna told Alvin that she's resting early because she's not feeling well. She said goodbye and left Alvin wondering whether she's really not feeling well or she felt weird after what Alvin has shared with her. Alvin felt bad... really bad... and he doesn't understand why she was acting like that and why did he care so much about her feelings.
The next day, Alvin messaged Brianna and wanted to call her to talk about what has happened yesterday. Brianna asked Alvin not to call but both of them "balas" messages. He said sorry for telling Brianna about Cassie and if that really made Brianna felt not good, he won't tell her about Cassie again. Brianna assured Alvin that she wasn't and yesterday she had another migraine, therefore she's not feeling well and she thought that Alvin will understand. Alvin does not understand why the sudden downfall in the way Brianna messaged Alvin, therefore he felt that he was at fault and he was kind of disappointed with the way Brianna acted and fed up with the way she reacted.
Brianna said she was disappointed at Alvin because she thought that Alvin would understand. Brianna said sorry if the way she messaged Alvin has changed. She said that she was at fault but Alvin told Brianna sorry for causing her to feel bad. She replied Alvin by saying sorry and she has nothing to say about it. Alvin was left hanging again.
Questions to ponder:
1. Why did Alvin told Brianna about Cassie? Is it to make her jealous or just want to share with her that Cassie came to church?
2. Is it wrong that Alvin has told Brianna about Cassie?
3. What is going through Alvin? What makes him care so much about Brianna?
4. Who's at fault? Brianna or Alvin?
Nah, try to answer those questions and see, haha, HOC MUN, I know you sure got lotz of stuff to share one. :P
Friday, November 16, 2007
Someone scrape / cut her thumb / palm. Tu lah, mau "ACTION" lagi, muahaha, Tuhan memang adil :P Memang akan rindu pada setiap orang yang saya tidak akan jumpa lagi untuk semester ini, or at least until the end of this year, friends from PERKEB, friends from Taiping, a friend from abroad, gonna miss you guys / girls a lot...
I'm not sure what I'm going to go through this holiday, but I know God is going through it with me as well, muahahaha, thank You, Jesus!
Okay, signing off now. 2 more papers to GO, which is SADM + JAVA. God, You must help me this time... and I'm serious... :(
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Ok, thank God for electricity. Was stuck dunno what to do for 2 hours... minus 1 hour of slept, haha, now wanna study ady lo, tomorrow ada satu paper, Neural Nets. God bless me. Haha.
Too early to say whether I've actually fallen for her or not also, sometimes it's because of emotions ba, kena lihat whether both can work together or not (in terms of working for God, as in, in PERKEB / Church), then see whether the results is going to be like TWICEFOLD or whether I work alone / she work alone can achieve better results... Don't really know how to put this into words, haha, Tuhan saja yang tahu. Serahkan kepada Tuhan saja. =)
Shoutout to all my friends and people that I care for >>> Have a save journey back to your hometown guys, may it be Sabah, Sarawak, anywhere in Malaysia.
Question: How to let someone know that we really care for them through our hearts and there's not a certain motive in getting close to someone, as in, towards girls? Because I find that sometimes, memang susah oh... later fall for that girl ady, pula ask me not to fall for them and all, natural right to fall for someone at this age, dahla single... anyway, just don't care about what I write here la, hanya mau dengar opinion saja.
Learnt something new > When you're tempted to do something, or memang kena attack when you think too much, stop and say > No, I won't let you(refering to S.A.Tan) kacau me, balik la you, si bodoh! In Jesus name, GO AWAY! shoo! < and after that, give thanks to God. Somehow it works. Haha, happened to me when I was listening to LITE FM, memang la, all the love songs, and then I terasa, I know I cannot do that, that's why terus stop and shouted in the car, I terus off the radio, and it worked! haha, =)
Monday, November 12, 2007
From "The Collegian: Christianity and Dating: Laying the Foundations of Biblical Romance and Marriage"
"One important problem of recreational dating is that it often mistakes a physical relationship for love. Is true love the desire to fulfill our emotional and physical wants through another person? No, love places the interests of others ahead of our own. Love sacrifices, serves, and gives without expectation of return. Can a man say he loves a woman, while he reserves the right to abandon her at any moment for the next prettier face? This degrades the value of women and shames the honor of men. Woman is the apex of God’s creation: when man was not good enough alone, the Lord produced a woman to complete His work. A true man ought to honor woman as the weaker vessel and not take advantage of her. If a man is to act nobly, he must guard the honor and purity of women, protecting them from all that threatens their security. A man must even protect women from himself; a woman at no time should feel uncomfortable in his presence, but on the contrary, safe and honored. As Romans 13:10 says, “Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” Far from the world’s shallow brand of “love” which breaks the law of God and destroys the moral standard, true love fulfills and upholds Biblical law. “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13).
Probably the biggest danger of the modern dating method is that it leads to intimacy without commitment. Intimate romance is a good thing, and God even commands it; but, as Joshua Harris states in I Kissed Dating Goodbye, “the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing” (73). An act of romance cannot come by itself– romance is designed to be carried out to the full, and with its privileges come responsibility and commitment. These are one inseparable whole, and we cannot try to initiate romance to take just a piece of it. Romance always demands more romance, and accelerates to greater degrees of expression until a relationship has been fully consummated. This is a good and virtuous thing when coupled with the commitment of marriage, but outside of marriage, it can lead to nothing but heartbreak and trouble. There are those who claim that dating builds relationship skills, teaches us to work through issues, and prepares us to face the challenges of marriage. In reality dating trains young people to give up on any relationship that no longer brings them pleasure. Doug Wilson, in his book Her Hand in Marriage, decisively states: “The modern dating system does not train young people to form a relationship. It trains them to form a series of relationships, and further trains them to harden themselves to the break-up of all but the current one. At the very least, this system is as much a preparation for divorce as it is for marriage” (10-11). The courtship relationship, however, is to be entered only with the intention of marriage, and its object is not present pleasure, but the choice of a companion (Haines and Yaggy 263). If a person is not interested in marriage, or is not prepared to assume the responsibilities of marriage, he has no business pursuing a girl’s heart. Before a young man can even consider courtship, he must prepare himself to support a wife and family; as Proverbs 24:27 commands, “Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house.”
Prior to entering the commitment of marriage, we must remain committed and faithful to that unnamed future mate. If with every act of romance we give away a piece of our heart, we must consciously strive to save our hearts for marriage romance, that we may give them wholly and proudly to one lifetime partner. In the same way, outside of lifelong commitment, we must not steal the heart of another. While some may claim that dating holds value in and of itself, that is to say, dating is an end in itself, and it is good because it is fun, courtship, in contrast, is never an end in itself, but only a step toward marriage.
Another basic problem of recreational dating is that it distracts young people from preparing for the future. Young people are in a season of training, and infatuation within a dating relationship wastes much time that might have been invested in learning or serving. It is important for us to realize and utilize God’s gift of singleness. Before marriage, while full of energy and not encumbered by the responsibilities of a family, young people have unequaled opportunities to serve the Lord and to learn and grow. Such times should not be squandered on a train of unfulfilling dating relationships. If a young man is truly interested in a girl, instead of letting her know about it, he ought consider what traits she would deserve in a husband, and then work to develop in himself those qualities."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
-Courtesy of Audrey (eventhough I don't know you, but this entry is neat. =D) -
Oh ya, talking about that, truely this time, I take it as God wants to teach me a lesson. The following are my experiences throughout this 3 months.
1. I know how weak I am > See someone that understands me, terus interested in that someone < I pray that God will strengthen me and prepare me for whatever future purposes He has for me la, as in, memang fall for someone that I truely-madly-deeply suka, and she also must be the same oni can :P
2. I know how far I can go for someone that I truely care for > sampai the stage where if my life is at stake to protect that someone, I will go for it... Don't know whether this is biased or i'm just plain stupid la =)
3. I know that it takes TWO to DANCE > 1 fella mana boleh menari, kena ada partner ba. Must have someone that shares the same heartbeat as mine, the same passion, baru boleh menari.
4. I know that if God says NO, He really mean it > This one I'm not so sure yet, no one knows the future, including myself or her, haha, if God memang plan for us to be together, no matter what happens now, memang will be together next time, it's just that the time is not right yet and God knows what I need right now and what she needs right now.
5. I don't hate her / angry at her, disappointed got la, a bit > Hmm, I wonder why also, disappointed will make me grow but I know I should have hated her / be angry at her for what I've done, what I've shown to her but none wor... totally, and seriously, it's weird. Kinda relieve also, dunno why... But what I know is apa yang telah berlaku, it's not her fault loh =)
Through this period, of things that has happened, really felt that my relationship with God has grown, one way or another la. =)
I will still keep you in my prayer. Believe God, believe in me also. Thank you for being who you are when you're with me and thank you for being frank with me. Arigato.
Tuhan berkati =)
Time is of the essence, and I believe God and time will be able to, and I'm sure and believe by faith that is able to heal a fallen comrade of mine. I take this as a new chapter in my life for no longer I love someone because I just wanna be with that someone, right now, what I truely feel is written in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 which is:
1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5. does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
There, something like that la. I'm not boasting or anything, and I'm not so sure what God is trying to tell me, maybe this is a part of molding me and molding that fallen comrade of mine, shaping us for greater purposes in the future, to do God's will, to work for God, to serve Him, and to be used by Him as a tool in this world.
I still pray, and am going to pray, until something happens again.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
God is too wise to be mistaken,
God is too good to be unkind,
So when you don't understand,
When you can't see His plans,
When you can't trace His hands,
Trust His heart.
-a new chapter in my life-
Friday, November 9, 2007
Maybe it's because I really wanted this, deep down inside me, I really wanted it... But as a melancholic person myself, I always think I'm not up to it, not up to what God is going to give me, what God has blessed me with. I always think that "I'm not good enough for it..."...
To her > truely, if you're asking me whether I mean what I said yesterday and said what I mean, I only have one answer, which is a big "YES". I really would like to journey with you, would like to share your burdens, would like to be there for you, but then, what I have in mind is > It's up to God to decide, not us, as human beings who wanna strive to live for God decides. If God were to ask me face to face whether I want it or not, I would say > "Heck, YES!!!" but I would also say > "if You're going to be the center of this relationship and if You're going to bless the both of us and if this is in Your wonderful plans for the both of us".
Right now, I can just pray and surrender and fully trust in God. I believe what God is telling the both of us is this > Whatever your choices maybe, I will be there for the both of you. I will judge your actions in this friendship/relationship. If you delight yourselves in Me, I will give you the desires of Your hearts (Psalms 37:4, NKJV). Therefore basically, whatever answer you might give me, I take it as what God wants for the both of us, whether it's a YES or NO. Take your time, because this is crucial... It determines for you and for me.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Anyway, as the saying goes and memang experience before > the more you want something, and in the end if you don't get it, the harder you'll fall.
Terence believes > the more you pray and let it go(as in, leave it to God), and in the end even though you don't get it, God has already changed and transformed and strengthen you, and you'll be able to see things in a different perspective. <<< Maybe this one is to make oneself feel better eventhough he/she has failed...
Yesterday was talking to Soo How about life partner stuff, as he was telling me his plans for his future, I was telling him something like this >>> You know, I believe that God will grant us what we want(in the context of gf/bf later become wife/husband), if He sees that we have put effort in it, as in, we pray and fast for it, and deep in our hearts we really want it, but the thing is, if and only if we surrender that matter to God at the same time and if both parties (the guy and the girl) also praying and longing for God and each other. It takes two to tango what...
It takes two to tango, both parties also must have feelings for each other. The question is > is "uncertainty" good or not good? How would you react if the girl/guy that you like is not so "certain" of their feeling towards you? Dunno whether their feelings are of love, sister/brother in Christ, just a friend...
To me, everyone has their uncertainty and until they came to a point in live where they have to make a decision, either it's all or nothing, because sometimes we do need to take that step of faith, right? Not blindly but by praying and fasting and asking God and yourself, if memang you pray that day and you got this feeling of at peace in your heart, take that as what God really wants you to do, and do it, eventhough you're uncertain, but go and take that step of faith! =)
Terence's reminder: I won't do anything drastic that will "speed" up things, but I will let God decide whether I'm the one and I will let you decide whether the answer is "all" or "nothing".
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Actually, I don't really know why am I angry when she didn't reply me (was chatting in Skype). She was chatting with her friends and I pula trying to fix my hard-disk, did something to it coz I wanted to install Windows Vista. Haha...
The funny thing is, I got angry when the replies are quite late (actually, I was looking at my notes also, in slides), but kinda learnt my lesson la... Now I'm sure that if I'm studying, never on my Skype, nanti jumpa dia, tangan gatal mau chatting pula...
Messaged her twice, called her but no answer... Sad... but fear not, I'm gonna try again tonight. =)
Did something to my hard-disk today, allocated 10GB of "unallocated space", which means free space and had a hard time of "emerging" back that free space to my primary partition. Not until I found Norton's Partition Magic. Cool tool to use.
Now, I partitioned 36Gb for my WinXP and 36GB for Vista Ultimate, mau cuba2 sahaja. Haha.
Somehow, don't know why, when we're in love, we tend to be quite... bias... if I may say so, maybe not for some of you but for me, definitely. Just trying to tell that person how much she meant to me, tiba2 also have to blow it off one... I guess it's the right thing to do... because doing what is right is WAY BETTER than doing what feels good. =)
Thank you, girl.
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
I pray that You'll prepare my heart to whatever answer that she's going to give, may it be a 'yes' or 'no'. I believe that You have great plans for me and her, great people for both of us to meet, and I believe that You have the best instored for the both of us, whether it's Your will for us to be together or not. This time, I'm really, totally, surrendering everything to You for Lord, I want to please You, You and You alone. I pray that Lord, You will give mutual agreement answers to me and her. Let Your will be done.
This I ask and pray in Jesus' name, -amen-
PS: The reason I blog this down is not to show off but to remind myself of what I've prayed. =D
Sunday, October 28, 2007
"This world is facinating. Everyone, living their own life stories, piece by piece authored by God Himself. Seeing every human being's happy faces, especially my brothers and sisters in Christ, and seeing them in happy relationships with their family members, their significant other, truely facinates me. I'm happy for them."
Emo right? Haha, dunno why suddenly like that. Think about this > If you have one super-hard-and-super-strong-and-super-duper-magnificent love life, as in, from before you know a particular guy/girl > getting closer to one another > praying for one another > seeking God for answers > success in getting him/her > getting married > have kids > live wonderfully and blessed by God in so many ways. The hardships that both of you go through, the disappointments, the happy times, the sad times and finally to be able to share this story back to you grandchildren, hebat kan? LOL, think too far ahead but somehow, I feel, quite nice lor if like that... haha =)
Thanks to my sis for "whacking" me yesterday, it was a good one sis. Thanks alot =)
Aight, gotta go off now.
Message to God: You memang wonderful la, apa pun You tahu, sometimes, You do work in funny ways and I know sometimes, when I pray and say something which I believe that is what You're trying to tell me, I have peace, somehow. Haha, I know You love me and I know You're molding me every single second of my life. Just want to say thank you to You and I surrender everything, eventhough it's hard because of my sinful and selfish nature, I pray and fast and commit myself, my family, my friends, my future partner(whom You're molding and preparing her for me), into Your hands. Eventhough I don't want to, but I know that this is the only right thing to do. Take care for me God, I know You will. Help my unbelieve. In Your Son's mighty Name, -amen-
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Heard something shocking today, and was totally speechless, somehow, when I'm able to agak it. Don't really know what's the real situation, still waiting and wanting to hear what is actually going on.
We are human beings, memang normal ba if sometimes we like this person, and at that same time, like another person. Don't really know actually how we felt towards this particular person, and that particular person ba, but what I know is, the choice is in your hands, whether you accept it or not. God gave us that freedom, we pray, and we ask God to guide us, but do you know that whatever choices you make, God is always there for you and as long as what you do with that choice that you've chosen, as long as the journey that you take (which includes whatever you do, whatever that will happen), as long as it pleases God, God will be there for you and He will guide you through.
That's what I believe. Therefore I have to know the real situation first, before I take any actions. I hope you don't feel guilty or whatsoever, I'm a human being and I've been through your situation and I've made my mistake, I've made a decision that I've regretted... but I have moved on with my life, and now finding you, knowing that there's a chance for the both of us if we persevere and keep on praying...
I don't wanna give up...
I refuse to give up...
Not until God says, "Terence, let her go..."
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
1. Most of us are students, right? What is our responsibility as a student?
My answer: Study hard, use our results to glorify God's name. Studies should be our focus right after God and family.
2. Responsibility towards our parents as a student?
My answer: To delight them with my results and to prove to them that being a Christian and actively serving in church doesn't mean that I won't do well in my studies (My parents are non-Christians
3. What if we actively serve in Church / any Christian organization but we neglect our studies?
My answer: Now that's bad... If really being "too" active (definition of "too" >> serve Church 24/7 like the whole church can't function when you're not around) and that makes my results menjunam, I'll rethink and maybe serve in a smaller scale, not that I terus stop serving. What I believe is, God would like me to know my priorities right, to be a living testimony and to shine forth His light to the people that is around me. Therefore, I believe that God will let me finishup my education first, and along the way, He'll prepare me for future, to do something for His Kingdom. That's what I believe la.
REASON WHY I POSTED THIS: BECAUSE I SEE SOME CHRISTIANS ARE ACTIVELY SERVING IN CHURCH (which is a good thing), BUT BECAUSE THEY SERVE "TOO" ACTIVE, THEIR RESULTS MENJUNAM TERUS... macam waterfall 10Km... Adui...
You can tell me that education is not important, next time "cari makan" pakai otak one. Yea, I know, but this is what I believe la > Education is important as a base to prepare us, human beings, for things to come in the future. In order to serve God and to be used by God efficiently, we should (if i may use the word > MUST) at least build a strong foundation of education.
*This is just my thoughts ya, the way I think. M not shooting anyone in particular. If you have some other thoughts / canggahan, drop a comment. =)
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Was listening to this emo song for a few days liao, hehe, memang nice, recommended by me.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Sunday pula, went to Setia Jaya, and then Joann fetched me, Rachel and Felicia to City Harvest Church to watch a play. The church was great, core believes are the same, it's just that the culture is a bit different =). The play was great, good job, my bro mr. Hun Ter, and it's cute to see Huey Szee running around and singing =).
Had a great time chit-chatting with them and sharing what has been going on in my life. Then, took KTM back to Serdang and reached home at about 5pm. Monday pula, laze whole day, went to pay some bills and then makan and then rehat, nite pula got AJK PERKEB meeting, a critical meeting until 12am likdat (can't remember liao).
Tuesday went to class at 10am-12pm, then rush to midval to meet up with her. Then jalan2, makan2, beli barang until 6pm. I waited for a train from 6pm-7pm. Missed d first train coz too full d, can't masuk anymore. Hmm, mayb it's God's planning also. Coz i met mr. Hun Ter! across the railway tracks. both of us shouted while we're talking, haha, everyone looked at us... lawak betui... Reached ukm at 8pm, makan, then 9pm went to meeting and finally came back at 3am in the morning. Been wide awake for 18 hours straight (i woke up at 9am ma). Adui... went back, sleep, and woke up today at 11.00am.
She's already reach d airport in Sabah liao, thank God for a save journey for her. Mmm, i guess that's all la, will be updating again.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Task at hand >
1. SE Final Project;
2. HCI Assignment 2;
3. Neural Networks Final Project;
4. EIT Presentation;
5. Systems Analysis Final Project; and
6. Java Final Project + Assignment...
There goes my weekend...
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Lotz of things happened these few weeks, wasn't able to have CG for 3 weeks ady, this monday must have, by hook or by crook but I'm glad that all my CG members are attending churches and still on the right track la. =)
Joined the PERKEB T-Shirt design competition and the back of my T-Shirt design, the logo has been chosen! Weee!!! But only the CROSS, the SHINING thingy and the bunch of PEOPLE was chosen, but still I'm glad, haha.
Alright, that's all for this update, haha, wait for another one yea. My finals in about 1 more month... ahhh... mati!!!
*current song on my tracklist > Semi Charmed Life <>
Nah Hoc Mun, an update ah!!! :P
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Yesterday, my KS(which consists of me, Chris, Paul, Witter, Ivan(sleeping) and Jeremy) did a combine KS with Adris' KS (which consists of Adris, Melvin, Edwind and Jeremy again). There was no praise and worship, we just did a prayer meeting (around 8.15pm) which the items that we prayed for are:
1. Mark Jeeva's health.
2. Persefahaman antara PERKEBians.
3. Tesis (Adris & Melvin).
4. Persediaan mid-term.
5. Wisdom semasa membuat ulangkaji.
6. Perjalanan rohani (spiritual walk).
7. PERKEBians bersatu dan bersinar dalam kasih Yesus.
Aight, now let's go to the funny part of this whole post. Me, Witter, Paul, Edwind followed Jeremy's car back while Chris and Adris followed Melvin's car. On the way back, we sesat in Sungai Chua for a while before we found the correct path to go back to UKM. Halfway thru the journey, Jeremy's car broke down... Dunno what's the problem la (battery was good, the petrol was good, everything was fine). My guess is his car's spark plug but dunno la. Jeremy called Melvin for back up and in the mean time, we were stranded there for 20 mins. After that I tried igniting the car and it works. The car is "alive" once again. And so, we waited for Melvin to reach us and after that, 2 cars headed back to UKM with Jeremy's car in front and Melvin following behind us (Melvin as backup and this time, only me and Edwind is in Jeremy's car, to "kurangkan beban kereta" wor).
Everything was good until we reach UKM's pintu gerbang, when the traffic light changes from yellow to red. Jeremy has to stop, right? Guess what... His car broke down again... and this time, the car memang "mati" terus. Melvin gave us a good suggestion, to push the car inside UKM first, then only see how. And so, we did the exact thing (the most logical thing to do at that time). So, me, Edwind, Chris, Paul and Witter pushed Jeremy's car from the traffic lights until we pass the UKM's guardhouse. It was funny la... to have such an experience in a day. Dahla sesat on the way back to UKM, now have to tolak kereta pula... adui... While they're pushing Jeremy's care, I sempat take a few pictures. Hohoho (super sampat I tell you...).
Alright, there you go. Haha, just feel like posting this only, weee!
Tuhan berkati! =D
Friday, August 17, 2007
Sometimes, I do wonder why am I restricting myself in only finding a girlfriend that is a believer. I believe that if she's a believer, God will somehow bless our relationship (if that relationship is based on God and if we totally surrender ourselves to God). Maybe that's why my scope in finding a girlfriend is:
1. She MUST be a believer in Christ.
2. Her love for GOD MUST be strong.
3. If I ever really wanna go after this girl, my intention is to bring her relationship with God closer, and not bringing her relationship to me closer (I don't really know how to put this into words...).
Hmm, only those who really know me will understand what I'm trying to say... haha. By the way, the temptation of having a non-Believer girlfriend is quite high also. Nonetheless, I'm still gonna wait on God and wait for now. God knows when is the time that WONG CHING HOW is ready for a relationship.
Till then. Adios. =D
Monday, August 13, 2007
But in that midst of sleepiness (what to do... tiring la... :P) and busyness (running here and there "lambung" and baling "people"). Somehow I felt like... rejoicing with the graduates. It's like... unexplainable la... not until when I went back to my room and did my quiet time, that I realise there's this particular verse that struck me...
Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
- Romans 12:15 -
Quite true ya. To me, during my convocation, I would like to see my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my parents and my significant other (if I have one la har :P) to be with me, celebrating with me and REJOICING with me. If during my convocation, there's only my parents and not a single brother/sister in Christ REJOICING with me... erm... kinda sad la... terasa juga...
What a sight I tell you... First time in my life see a real-life drama. Haha. Never thought that there's going to be a guy that asks for a girl's hand in marriage just after the girl's convocation. To me, I was kinda speechless and happy for the girl at the same time.
Below are some of the interviews that I've made with a certain number of people that witnessed that sight:
"Ei... very touching la..."
"Wow... I'm speechless..."
"Hou kaam yan ahr..."
Congrats to you, miss-ex-Artisukma-Choir (sorry ya, kinda forgot your name ady... it's the thought that counts ma =D).
Aight, gotta cabut now. Arigato and God bless. =D
Friday, August 10, 2007
Very tired now... dunno what to say. Good nite peepz. God bless. I'll write more... I promise... =.=