Sunday, December 21, 2008

I don't understand...

I really really don't understand... This week itself, dunno 2 / 3 of my friends telling me they have either 1. Break up; 2. Fall in love with someone that doesn't like them or 3. They paktor with people of different faith (they are Christians but the partner is not).

Sad case wei... seriously... I'm not sure why, I terasa for them one... I believe this is something that God has planted in my heart, maybe by praying for them, maybe God terasa also... It's not my burden to bear but I feel it... deep inside my heart... sakit tau...

I seriously thank God for all the "experiences" that I have gained throughout my failed relationships. It really has opened my eyes to see the bigger picture, rather than seeing it according to my own "fantasy" world. Indeed God has beautiful plans behind things that happened to us, things that He has allowed to happen in our walk.

Sometimes I do wonder why Christians cannot see the importance of building one's character before venturing into a relationship... I seriously pray that my brothers and sisters will not be me la, someone that needs to go through all the pain and hardship in order to learn... Thank God He opened up my eyes la, seriously...

Haha, I'm not so sure what I'm typing here, just feel like shouting > God, what is happening to this world, especially Christians who buta2 pursue relationships with another human being rather than you??? Paktor with different faith??? What does the Bible has to say about this? You tell me...

Tension tension tension...

*Edited: By the way, won't be in KL for a week. SMS/Call me if it's important ya. God bless!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

My Rig

Ok, pictures uploaded in Facebook. Check them out here http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76353&l=351c9&id=714337467

On to the testimony:
I was actually struggling between giving tithes (10% of my total allowance from my internship) and keeping it to buy another electric guitar (I wanna learn electric, so get another one la :P). Anyway, there are a lot of attacks, for example, questions like, "It's okay la, I keep the money to get the elec, next time work only give tithes la... besides, it's allowance, not gaji also...", "Haven't really work yet ler, this one allowance, tak kira one, so no need to give...", "If I give already... tak cukup to buy an elec la... nvm la, buy elec first...". Was kinda battling these thoughts for a few days... until one day I realise la... Give to God, that's the RIGHT thing to do. And so, I did this prayer, "Lord, I choose to give 10% of the allowance back to You because You are the one that provided me a place for my internship and You are the one that provided the amount of allowance that I'm getting. I choose to honour You and give to You. I will not trust in the amount that I have left to get another electric guitar but I'll just commit this plan into Your hands.".

Eventhough I prayed like that right... the funny thing is this, in my mind, I was thinking, "Nevermind la... next time work only get one electric guitar la...". I know I will get one electric guitar but dunno when saja... Haha. Then, something miraculous happened. 2 days later, one fine morning, my dad was shouting in the living room, "Hey, I kena lottery la!" (he was excited because more than a DECADE already tak kena lottery, eventhough faithfully "investing" in lotteries for more than a DECADE. I was awaken by my dad's excitement. Therefore I came out of my room, asked my dad to tone down (when you kena lottery, you don't want your neighbours to know right?). Anyway, after that, I went to brush my teeth and wash my face. My dad told me from far, "You want to get an electric right? Jom".

I was like, "Is this for real? What the heck...". I thought it's just "coincidence" la... manatau right, the lottery ticket that my dad kena, he didn't buy that number... He "picked" it up (literally). At that particular time I know it has to be God, no one else d. Memang it's from Him la. After that I went back to Taiping for camp and then I told this story to my bestie and you know what he said? "If your prayer aligns with God's will for you at this particular season of your life, God will answer that prayer, according to His will for you." Profound gila... :D

So, that's all la. Have fun.

PS: Pray prayers that align with God's will for you, that's why it's wise to end a prayer with - Your will be done. Cheers.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Soon

I'm posting my rig soon. Stay tune for pictures to come :)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Misi Orang Asli (MOA)

I just came back yesterday. A bunch of mix feelings involved. Throughout the past 4 days and 3 nights (29th Nov - 2nd Dec) staying in Kampung Serigala, God has opened my eyes to see His greatness and also to rely on Him in the my personal matters and also the matters in the world. Somehow after this MOA, I felt there's changes in me... New desires to serve Him more, especially in terms of maybe visiting Kampung Serigala more often.

I felt that it's no point if I were to just go there for MOA and then biarkan sahaja and do nothing about the friendship, the bridge that I have built in this village. Somehow I don't know... When I see the hunger in them to know more of God's word, I felt ashamed of myself. It's a good time to reflect back on myself, in the sense that how I treat and cherish God's word. The villagers there are simple. Do you know that by just telling them, "God loves you", their eyes will be filled with tears of joy? It makes me reflect back on myself. When I'm down at times, yes I remind myself that God loves me, but it's like, I don't really mean it and it doesn't really make any sense to me? Sigh...

One thing for sure is that throughout this experience in MOA, God really opened my eyes to see their needs, their concerns, their life and their ups and downs. I truly believe that greater things have yet to come to this Kampung and also there's greater things to be done in this Kampung. All in all, this was truly an experience that I will never ever forget. I miss the villagers right now... :(

Right now, at this particular time of my life, I am still struggling with managing myself, managing my time and my commitment towards God. God, I need your help, I need your healing. Break me and mould me to become who You wanted me to be. I want to be the man that I was meant to be. Hear me and speak to me, O' God...

PS: Friends, please do take care of your health. Drink lotz of water and becareful in what you eat. Somehow lately when I see my friends fall sick, I kinda like... have compassion for them as in > Eh, you okay or not? Drink lotz of water k? Haha, if you don't want me to bug you like that, remind yourself to take good care of yourself :)

BTW: Going back to Taiping tomorrow, you won't be able to see me onlining until 10th Dec. So see you peeps ya! :)

To Danny, Su-Jian, Swe Jyan, Kelly, Wan Sian, Grace, Julian and David: You guys are still in my prayer. God be with you and I know that God is going to use all of you to shake Kampung Serigala. Amen.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Ended properly...

Hmm, a mix of happiness and sadness. My last day in ExxonMobil. My internship has finally finished and I'm glad that God was all the way with me. I'm glad that I've made a difference in that department itself. I think I kinda shined for God because I get remarks like, "Our working life no life one... we should be like Terence, go to a church. Look at him, got church, so busy, got work, but still he's so full of life", "We are definitely gonna miss you, you are the most efficient Tier 1". It's not that I'm boasting, seriously, to me, it's just the way I am wired I guess...

I just felt like, all this, everything that I did for ExxonMobil, it felt satisfying, maybe because middle of my internship, I started to change my perspective, in doing everything, as though I'm doing for God, therefore I must gave my best, coz He gave His best, His only Son, to be the sacrificial lamb, and by His Son's blood, we are all made free from our sins. Maybe because of this reason, I choose to do everything, just like doing for Him la. :)

What touched me is they gave me uber cool gadjet. Will post the pics someday la, now lazy la :P

Anyway, going to dreamland soon. Woooo. I'll surely miss Enterprise Storage - Backup East team.

God bless.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

God is... so tasty!

Haha, was thinking of what to write... I just felt that once you've tasted the goodness of God, you will not turn back to the world. This is what I'm going through for the past few weeks. Very strongly the puzzles of my life is becoming a piece of portrait...

There are alot of questions in my mind and God is beginning to answer them one by one. And it's kinda scary la... hahaha

Don't really know how to put it into words la... seriously... Just one sentence to sum it all la: God is faithful, merciful and graceful. :)

Monday, November 10, 2008

Setting up a goal...

I want to be a worship leader! (got this thought when I was bathing, 10 minutes ago).

Shalom.

God breaks us, in order to shape us.

Was reading some articles (Anchors In The Storm by Joe Stowell, Discovery Series) and there was this part that I find quite profound la...

"If you ever get really disappointed or discouraged, read the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. Betrayed by the people closest to him, his own family, he was sold into Egypt as a slave. Rising to a place of influence in Potiphar's house, Joseph daily faced Potiphar's wife's efforts to seduce him.

The Egyptians prided themselves on having beautiful, sensual wives. Potiphar, being one of the leading bureaucrats in the land, no doubt had a wife who was rather spctacular. He was off on business much of the time, so she was probably lonely. Joseph, who was young and strong, was running the household every day. One day, she grabs him, and he runs. God looks down on Joseph and says, "Joseph, nice going. You're My kind of man!" Bt he gets 3 years in the slammer. For 3 years, nobody remembers him. (In those years God may have been extracting the arrogance from his life.)"

When I was reading this part, I paused and kinda reflected on my life. Somehow I felt that this speaks much to me, I believe some of you also. Sometimes, we felt that we know everything and we have everything in control (especially when things are going smooth), then something happened that struck us down, and when we call out to God, there's no answer, not even a sign. What should we do then? What I normally would do is to reflect back on the things that has happened, identify the areas that I'm weak, and response to God in prayer that I'm weak and I have been arrogant. I realise that I know nothing, even when I think that I know everything. I would ask God to teach me, how to be humble and in everything I do, I should refer to Him first, and not men, not the people around me.

Sometimes God allows problems and circumstances to happen in our life in order to break us and to mold us. Maybe you have problems with your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your parents, your lecturers, maybe you have just broke up, did something terrible, etc... Know that all these things happen for a reason and that God allowed it to happen, in order to break you, mold you and to shape your character, to be who He wants you to be.

You might think that you are not able to go through it but let me tell you that you are able, because it is written in 1 Corinthians 10:13 - "And God is faithful; He willl not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." - and also 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - So, hang in there, and know that whatever circumstances that you're in, God will be able to deliver you. Nothing is too hard for God (Gen 18:14 - Is anything too hard for the Lord?).

So hang in there. After God breaks Joseph, what did God did? Read on...

"Then, in His time, God delivers Joseph and elevates him to the second highest position in the empire."

Be blessed. :)

Sunday, November 9, 2008

FSCC

Just in case you guys are wondering what the heck is this FSCC that terence is talking about... lemme just briefly tell you guys:

My Pastor in TSF (FGA KL) got a vision few years back. In that vision, God told him to plant a church in Serdang area, to reach out to students from UPM, Uniten, MMU, UKM and etc. He prayed and through the years, God has provided and really confirmed it. So, my Pastor asked the permission of the church to release him and at first, the church elders was not so happy about it la, because he's the kind of Pastor that you can share everything and he is DEFINITELY not afraid to correct you on the spot (I kena before, sakit... but seriously must thank God for it :D).

So around 2 years back, the church has given him the green light already, released him to go to Serdang and plant a church. Up until this year, around August/September, he announced it during the youth meetings, and man... I was shocked...

Before this, I was thinking of going to a "smaller" church, to serve and be a blessing there already, because I felt FGA KL is too big for me. Imagine coming to church every week and when you try to smile and say hi to them, they don't smile back... Maybe because I'm the sensitive type of guy, if let's say you don't smile back to me and just walk away, I will automatically assume that you are not interested in becoming terence's friend. So... haha :P

And so, I was praying lor... I felt that it's time for me to move on... seriously was planning on what to tell my leader d... See see, pastor announced about a new church in SERDANG area (dahla smaller, + it's near my house! Wooo!). God sure knows how to give me a surprise, haha. And so, this coming January, will be officially going to FSCC already.

FSCC = FGA Serdang Community Centre.

Wanna know more about FSCC? Ask me face to face :D. By the way, you guys are invited ya. The service will be on Sunday, 10am until 11.30am, 12pm max. After that can go makan chi pau kai summore. :D:D:D The location of the church is just opposite KTM Serdang. Convenient right? Come and join us ya!

Okies, gotta go berus gigi and makan breakfast d. Later going to test the acoustic amp. Woot! Take care peeps!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Kena kutuk...

Was playing the acoustic today and kena kutuk by David Leong and Davin Tan. Both say I play like kayu... haram... I'm not performing la dude, it's my way of worship ma... berani kutuk aku... cis...

Anyway, am glad that Davin wanted to join us (FSCC, woohoo!) and wants to serve there. Woo! Super excited as I'm going to FSCC soon, and Lake wanted to get a Yamaha guitar, woo! Hidup Yammies!

The worship was great. My fingers are swelling now... Hohoho. Time for me to hit the sack d... Woke up at 7.40AM today, sampai sekarang tak tidur-tidur lagi...

Sending a loud BIRTHDAY WISH to my buddy Jagad, Khye Tee, Nasrul (exxon colleague) and Kitha! God bless you guys!

Shalom.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

A Poem by Russell Kelfer

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy,
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!

Was thinking about how significant each and every one of us is, in God's eyes. No matter how you feel about yourself, no matter how the world treats you, know that there is a God that loves and cares for you. :)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Indescribable...

Hmm, what to write ahr... Haha, sorry beb, not sure what to write here. Was practising guitar just now and playing Indescribable by Chris Tomlin, somehow I felt God is just... well... indescribable! There are alot of things happening around me (eg: friends breaking up, friends getting along together, having fun in the office, thinking of what to expect in FSCC, riding my bike to and fro from work amidst of HEAVY rain) and right now I was thinking, if there's a word to describe God, what word would I use... Hmm, I guess I'll use - indescribable! :D

I had a dream a few days back, dreaming of this girl that I know in my uni CF. In that dream, both of us look at each other and ask the same question: Is this pak tor? (literally: Are we hooking up?). Just then, my mum woke me up because it's 6.15am (apparently, my hp's alarm wasn't loud enough to wake me up). What I did was, I prayed and biarkan la, see what happens lor... Manatau... I had a second part of the dream 2 days later. I dream of another girl (let's call her A), from PERKEB also, drag me to see her parents. Her hand was clinging to my arm and brought me to her family dinner. Her family members asked me who am I. At that particular point, I felt so disgusted + felt so bad because in my head, I was thinking, "Eh, I thought I've already attached to B?), and you know what I did? I took A's hand off, and I pat her shoulder, looking at her family members, I say, "We are just very good friends.". Of course, A looked sad... So I told her, "I don't think so I belong here, guess I'll just make a move".

Told Rachel about it and she was asking me whether this is a sign from God. To be true to you guys, I'm really not sure. I kinda like told B to pray about it but I guess she's angry at me... Hahaha, nvm la, later I messaged B and told her to forget about it and after that, I submit those dreams to God d. Only God knows la what's the meaning of it (unless someone can interpret for me la :P).

Anyway, I felt that it's time for me to move on and to stay focus in whatever I'm doing (PERKEB, FSCC, my life). What I'm doing right now is simple, I can sum it up in 3 words > Wait on God.

=)

PS: 2 more weeks for my internship. Just 2 more... Project dah habis. Woohoo! Time to go back to my Yammie. Take care peeps!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Updates!!!

Holla, it's me again! Just some updates so that you know what I'm going through and how am I currently:

1. I sensed that God is telling me it's a season of change for me... maybe in what I'm doing, the place I'll be going... it can be anything... Somehow... confirmation also got d... (different days, and heard the same message over-and-over again > This is a season of change... from 3 different people, 3 different church...) Pray with me and we'll see. I believe it's a good change! =D

2. I've bought an acoustic guitar with a pickup (finally), after forking out a huge sum of money for the beauty... Heee~ BTW, it's a Yamaha CPX700, black colour... I'll just call it a Yammie la :D

3. FGC was great. It was totally an eye opener, in a sense that I personally get to know more about Islam and it kinda triggered me to google more info regarding Islam. I have lots of M friends and sometimes I do feel for them, their concerns... Hmm... And we have lots of fun in the camp, the games session (it's amusing to see girls washing their long hair as a punishment :P), the drama (cil cil & ya ya... dunno who came out with the idea... they really deserve the no.1), and get to know lots of juniors!

4. Somehow, something is happening to me... My spirit leaps with JOY if I may use that word when I see a certain someone... dang... I need some rest...

Weeks of internship left: 10... and I haven't really start my project yet... -.-"

Monday, August 4, 2008

268

At last, I saw Chris Tomlin! Not only that... Louie Giglio also! and not forgetting... Charlie Hall! Haha, sorry ya, just too exciting bout them already =P

Last nite, went to Passion World Tour '08 and they happen to stop by Kuala Lumpur this year. At first, I wasn't feel like going but indeed... I have no regrets going. The message was good (it's like hammering nails into your own heart), God's presense is definitely there (goosebumps from head to toe during d worship) and great music.

It was like > I'm dreaming coz i'm looking at Chris Tomlin playing the acoustic and some electric, and he's just like right in front of me... goodness... He's the one that kinda like... made me determined to take up guitar and practise and prayerfully one day will be like him, writing and singing songs for God's glory. Nonetheless, God has different plans for different people and I believe mine will be something awesome coz God did not plan my life just to be an average Joe. =)

Kinda more motivated to practise guitar and you know what? If I can use this talent to just even bless someone throughout the course of my life and to be able to make people see God's glory in me, not my own glory, I can die a happy man =)

Determination: To life a life making Jesus' name famous! =)

Countdown: 15 weeks left for Internship.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Internship

That's right, this is what I'm doing right now, this whole semester of my final year: INTERNSHIP!

I've started my internship in ExxonMobil Business Support Centre Malaysia Sdn Bhd and if I can describe the whole company with just one word, I'd say: AWESOME!

One thing la, it's a big company ma, so... I'm kinda like > wow, this is cool. wow, that is great. wah, i like the policy here. what? can wear like that one ahr? Never have I thought that there somethings (attire, snacks, listening to music) that we can FREELY do and there are somethings (internet access, telephone calls, emails) that are being heavily monitored.

Learned quite a lot even in the first week, and somehow, maybe because i'm new in this, actually i'm anticipating to go to work everyday (maybe because in my subconsciouness, i'm trying to enjoy what i'm doing la), coz no point sulking and complaining ma, just do whatever the company throws at me lor. Hehe

Just feel like updating my blog saja, hohoho. That's all la, gotta go sleep d (waking up 6.15am everyday and sleeping at 11pm everynite... i dunno how come some people still got time for clubbing and paktor and watch muvees in d cinema... -.-").

Countdown: 19 weeks to go.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Just some time off...

Having a little break right now. Been on a marathon of computer ethics' notes for 4 hours, and still going strong... haha. It's really brain-draining, reading all of the ethics. Thank God the paper is an objective paper. Weee...

Anyway, just an update again. This week is the busiest week of my life so far. Rushing for my group thesis (in which am not able to finish anyway) in the midst of finals for 3rd sem. Never have thought that 3rd sem is over, so freaking fast... In 2 weeks time, I'll step into the working world. Gonna work like working for God and not for humans, haha, and pray also, coz I wanna get a contract with the company before my industrial training ends.

Anyway, I just felt pressured lately, maybe because I have lotz of things to do and seriously, I totally realise that males are goal-based human beings. It's like, no time for emo-emo stuff, it's serious and it's-time-to-finish-what-I-have-started kinda thing. I am easily irritated even with my own classmates who wanted to ask me questions regarding the exams. Hohoho, but thank God all these is coming to an end coz tomorrow is my final paper and this Friday is the group thesis presentation.

After that, I'm off to uni to disturb new intakes, hahaha :P Btw, for those people who like guitars especially if you like an electric guitar that combines with an acoustic, try going to youtube and search for "Les Paul Ultra 2". =)

Till then, God bless.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Untitled

Been thinking alot of my life lately, somehow I felt that I'm falling down, way down, into a place of unknown, a place where I heard of but I've never dreamt of going there. A situation where I never thought I will be in...

The feeling of disappointment, the feeling of guilt, the feeling of not being able to be true to myself and the people around me, the feeling of trying to hide myself from the world. I believe everyone in this world, would have been into a place or a situation where things get out of control and we let feelings and emotions cover our faith, cover what we believe in, the morals that we hold on to...

I don't even understand what I am posting right now, lately I'm in a situation of loss of words, nothing much to say, say also you all cannot help me, say also you all don't understand, hmm, I bet only God knows what I'm going through right now...

To all the friends that I know, I hope all of you will continue to be strong in the Lord and know that He understands and He knows what we're going through even if there is nothing coming in, as in, a sign, a Word, an answer. Never put your trust and faith in humans but trust the One and only Creator that has created you. Whatever situation that you're in, always believe that no human rules can overcome God. He is in control of everything, yesterday, today, and in the future.

I find myself lately that when I'm concentrating working, I can't seem to sms much, haha, reply people's messages la, it's hard to focus... And by the way, I think most of you who know me tend to know that I'm a person that likes to talk about having a partner and all, well, guess what? I've given up on that and let God reign over my life coz I realise that... I am definitely not ready for a relationship, not ready for a commitment coz I have so many things that I haven't done yet, such as - achieving financial stability, achieving spiritual stabililty (consistent in my walk with God), achieving and sharpening my guitar skills, travel around the world alone. =)

Well, I guess I kinda starting to realise and enjoy how nice it is to be single and wait. =)

Maybe all I need is just a lil bit of time off from every pressure that is attacking me, huhuhu.

Till then, signing off.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

At last!

At last, Joe asked me to play today, acoustic, in Young Adults' Worship Service. Woot! =)

Praise God, hehehe. =)))

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Never thought... LOL

Hehe, decided to name this post as "Never thought... LOL" coz memang tak pernah did this. Hehe, I was bored the whole day so, at first thought of main-main and take some ss pics of my guitar, see see I mengacau with macro close-up (all these while i tot for plants only, coz d picture is a flower what) :P


Took some nice pics (according to my own judgment la) :P


This is one of it and actually it's in colour, I kinda black-&-white it and kacau some contrast. It's all done in photoshop cs3, hohoho.

What do you guys think?

Monday, May 12, 2008

Realisations

I realise that I'm quite "loh-soh" at times, maybe because I want others to know what I really meant behind something that I've just blurted out or say (because I know sometimes, without proper translation, a sentence can sound harmful and not-so-friendly).

I realise too that sometimes when I sakit hati, people around me don't know (facial expression tidak menonjol kut), not that I'm asking that you guys will pity me but sometimes, when I sakit hati, I'll keep quiet and I'll just not react to jokes. I'll just keep quiet and I'll give you a smile. That's the best that I can do.

What I paling tak suka is people misunderstand me. That just hurts me la, somehow when I tried to explain, the other party just keep quiet or pretend tak dengar or will just smile and say > "yea right". Well, I don't wanna justify myself or what but can you guys just give me a few seconds to explain myself?

Life is not easy sometimes, with all these ups and downs and misunderstandings and miscommunication but what I believe is > someday you guys will know why I did what I did.

=)

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Me Update

Lotz of things happened ler. Where to start leh? Okay la, last saturday. Well, practice is on every Saturday, 2pm in FGA KL, Jalan Kuchai Lama (in case you don't know what practice and would like to know what is it, well, I went for the audition of worship team and I got in, guitarist), I thought it was just like normal, maybe because of the fact that I'm tired and all.

But something was different. Well, I took the step to walk towards Jun Win(I hope I spelled his name correctly), and asked him some stuff regarding electric guitar. Hmm, got some insight, somehow even just by sitting there and looking at him doing his thing. I can see that there's unity in the band, there's Holy Spirit's work there. Everyone gave their best and God made the blending of their music. Somehow, I was refreshed.

After that, the sermon today was talking bout discipleship, which somehow, quite interesting and struck me. I felt like > Hmm, I need to share with people about Christ. I'll start small and let God handle the rest. Pastor Daniel asked us to start praying and see changes, well, that is what I'm determined to do these 2 months and see the results! I believe God will not let my prayer go in vain. =)

Then I chaired that night's TSF meeting coz most of the leaders went for the Alpha course training. We watched a DVD entitled "Indescribable" by Louie Giglio. He talked about "You put the stars in the sky and You know them by name". Nice topic la, regarding the galaxies and all, really felt like singing "I am a Friend of God"'s first line, "Who am I that You are mindful of me?".

Oh ya, before that saturday, on 2nd May, I received a call from Willowglen, asking me to go for their interview as a trainee. The interview was scheduled for today and thank God, I got the job! Hehehe. During the interview, I have to fill in the personality test and they found out (I found out too) that I'm more of an introvert.

See technical problems as CHALLENGES.
See human problems as REAL PROBLEMS.

LOL, quite true. Sometimes actually I would prefer to fix a computer than to fix a relationship. Haha, don't ask me why. I pray that I'll change. I'm willing, so help me God!

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Enough is enough?

To be frank with my own self, I am these few days trying to ignore the fact that God is in control of everything. I've tried to go against Him (trust me, you don't want to), believing that whatever we do is a choice and that God has given us that authority to make our own decisions but throughout these course of around 1 week +, I realise that... if God says NO, the end result will be NO (surprise!).

Ok la, enough of me fighting already. Time to go back to God's path, to God's way, to God's timing. =)


-I know Who I am-

I am forgiven,
I am Your friend,
I am accepted,
I know who I am.
I am secured,
I'm confident,
that I am loved,
I know who I am.
I am alive,
I am set free,
I belong to You,
and You belong to me.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

How would you react?

Shoutout to King Wai : Wah, no need to shoot me female gua? I'm just busy, that's all =)

The reason of this post: Just want to do a survey, guys / girls yea?

What would you do, or react, if the person that you like, but not yet your gf/bf, says to some other person (either their ex, or someone that likes them, or someone that they like):

Love ya, Miss ya!

Guys & Girls: What is your point of view? What do you think he / she means? If you say this to a girl, what do you really mean? Just a friend-friend thingy or you still long to be with that person or you memang still like that person?

I need feedbacks! =)

Monday, March 31, 2008

Update after so so long... :P

Hey guys, thanks to some of you who asks how come I didn't update my blog. Well, it's being a hell of months if I could say, so many things happened in my life. Just a quick list on what has happened:

1. MKes 07/08
2. Easter performance in church
3. Got into the worship team in church
4. So call on/off in a relationship
5. Cousin brother passed away in a freak accident
6. My brother fell down from the motorcycle, fractured his left wrist
7. Spiritually down and started to question God a lot
8. A lot of things has happened that made me look at this world in a different perspective
9. Projects and assignments, non-stop, week after week

There you have it, that's why I couldn't update my blog peeps =)

Well, just fell like pouring out my heart today in this faithful blog, haha, at least I can blog down what is in my heart right now.

Been thinking bout my relationship with a girl lately, memang full of ups and downs and I realise that, everytime when both of us are near to become a couple, something will happen. I believe it's from God la. Something will just happened either to me or her. Let me give you this scenario:

Imagine you are running a race on a race track, and suddenly, you reach a high wall. Rather than jumping/climbing over the wall, we end up banging into the wall, and then stand up again, and bang again. It has been proven and memang a few times it happened, mainly > Going to be a couple, something happened. Going to be a couple again, something happened.

So far, I can only come up with two solutions:
1. This person is not the one that God wants me to be with (He prepares but it's up to our freewill to choose, right? But God knows what's best for me and for her.)
2. It is not the time yet (if it's from God, it will work and in the mean time, God is molding the both of us).

But somehow, from what I see, from the things and all and my own experience (I'm a human, we shouldn't believe in our own experience but trust in God), my guess is God's answer is choice number 1. Somehow I don't know, maybe I'm denying it myself because if God were to ask me, I will definitely choose choice number 2, wait first.

I don't know la... sigh, bottomline - it's a sad story la. Well, life must go on and we can choose whether to live life sadly or live life happily. I choose the latter.

God bless. =)

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Your grace is enough.

A song that pops into my mind early this morning, credits to Chris Tomlin and his team of people who worked on this marvellous song:

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart


So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God


Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me


Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along


Your Grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your Grace is enough for me
God, I see Your grace is enough
I'm covered In your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me


PS: I realise that when I'm down, I post a lot :P

Current mood: Ready for the day. =D

Friday, January 18, 2008

Blue: The human side of me.

Everything seems to be hanging at the moment, time, space, every single thing that you can imagine.

Once you take the wrong step/say the wrong thing/do the wrong thing, you're dead. The feeling is unbearable, feeling of whether what you've just done hurt the opposite party, whether what you've just done disturb/affect the opposite party physically, mentally or spiritually.

Sigh, life is hard. And I think I suck at it at the moment. By the way, I always say that I have passion in BGR, sometimes I realise that I don't do what I preach.

See? I do suck in life at the moment. Feeling blue. Sigh.

Current mood is: Desperate for answers, complaint to God, waiting for Him to answer...

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Everytime...

Hmm, sometimes, maybe because I'm just a human being, haha, I tend to think a lot of "what if"-s. What if this? What if that? LOL, and at the end of the day, I realise that all those "what if"-s don't really matter coz God is in control of every situation in my life, whether I like it or not. Sometimes I don't really like it, I really wanna do this / that my way, but I do know that God has His own way and sometime things just don't go our way because God wanna prevent us from a bigger disaster.

See how much God loves you? =)

God bless.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

It's off!

My earrings are off, officially. =)

Shallom.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Convictions...

First of all, I was reading a book by John Bevere entitled "Drawing Near" during the holidays and the book gives me a practical look at how to draw near to God, how to listen to Him, a lot la... So, I was reading and came a part that talks about listening to God...

He speaks to us and all we have to do is to listen, to be still and silent and be sensitive to God, focus... He speaks to us non-stop, through the Bible, audible voice, your inner voice, convictions of your heart. And I truly believe it... coz God spoke to me, He gave me 2 convictions... (PS: We should believe first, then we shall see. But human beings tend to see first, then only believe. Check the Bible, the people in the Bible often believe first, then they see God's spirit in action, I'm still learning to do this... Hehe).

Okay. 1st conviction: I was bathing(I always get lotz of stuff in the bathroom... LOL), and thinking a lot of stuff, my future, this and that, when I come to think of this particular girl (Miss A), I hear a voice that says:

Voice > ARE YOU SURE THAT SHE IS THE ONE THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR YOU?
Me > I don't know... I'm not sure...
Voice > GOOD.

Suddenly I felt this fear in me, the fear of taking the wrong step, the fear of making choices / making decisions out of my own selfish nature, as in, I WANT IT SO BAD I DON'T CARE, GOD, YOU MUST GIVE ME. I fear that... So, that was my first conviction lor... (I managed to tell Miss A about it and thank God she understands =))

Second conviction: I was sitting on my bed, reading the Bible and praying la. Suddenly there's a voice again and I feel bad:

Voice > WHAT KIND OF TESTIMONY ARE YOU SHOWING? YOU SAY YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN BUT YET YOU WEAR EARRINGS, 2 SUMMORE!

I terus feel bad after that... And don't know, somehow, got convicted of taking my earrings off already. I somehow feel that it symbolizes me of getting serious with God and no play play d la (somehow letak earring like play play saja, I'm a guy ma), so friends, I'm taking it off already, and don't ask me why. If you ask, I'll refer you to my blog address (which is this one, muahahaha).

Shallom. =)

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

New Year, New Everything!

Thanks to ANNA TEOH for reminding me to update my blog :P and also thanks to all those who mentioned that I need to update my blog, so here it is! An update! :P

Well, just wanna take this opportunity to wish all you peeps out there a very Blessed New Year. Just like what the topic says, I pray that this is what is going to happen to me, a new year, new everything (spiritually, mentally, physically).

This New Year, you might see some changes in me, regarding my opinions on what I've posted back in 2007. Gain some new insights after talking with some of my church leaders, questioning them, seeking God in prayer, reading His words, gain some new conviction from the Spirit, adui, lotz of things happened during the hols... Kinda scared but at the same time excited about it also, what's gonna happen to me in 2008? I wonder...

I'll update more on this ya, stay tuned!

God bless.