Sunday, August 16, 2009

Convo: 16th Aug 2009

16th August 2009: My convocation.

After spending 7 semesters (3 years + 1 short semester) in UKM, I'm leaving UKM for good (I think so, unless I continue doing my masters there). The feeling was a mixture of happy and sad. Happy because I'm graduating, and moving on to the next phase of life. Sad because I'll be missing the friends that I've made in UKM, my lecturers, my life there.

Today was a very memorable day indeed, thanks to the presence of great friends (my coursemates, my ex-roommate, my choir mates, PERKEBians), my parents and also my girlfriend. Time passes so fast. I still remember when I got into UKM, I was complaining to my parents about the journey from Serdang to UKM is far (eventhough it's just 15KM but hey, last time in Taiping, it took me just 5KM to go to school :P), but now I realise that actually UKM is very near... haha, compared to my workplace (24.4 KM).

I want to take this opportunity to thank God for seeing me through this 3 years, through the happy and sad times, through stress times, through exams, and everything else. I want to thank my coursemates for supporting me as well. I want to thank Artisukma Choir members for making my life so wonderful and colourful and beautiful with your voices :) I want to thank my ex-roommate, it's such an honour to be able to call you brother and to be able to grow together in UKM with you. I want to thank PERKEBians for their prayers, for their support and for them :) (Note: The order of "thanks" doesn't mean anything ya. I just type what I feel and didn't arrange it).

I will be looking forward in seeing you guys (Choir Annual Dinner, MK, ADP, chit chat, meetings, yum char) from now onwards :P Haha. Adios!

PS: Lisa, here's your update! :P BTW, nice finger nail polishers :D

Friday, June 26, 2009

Next phase of life...

Just an update: I'm starting work next Wednesday (1st July). Dunno what to expect... nervous... but acting cool... hahaha :P Pray with me. :)

Sunday, May 17, 2009

It's official ;)


Both got confirmation.
Both waited.
Both struggled in prayer.
Both agreed.
Leaders met.
Pastor acknowledged.

It's official. ;)

17 May 2009.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Moving on.

Viva was separated to 2 phases. Yesterday presented to pemeriksa 2. Pemeriksa 1 not free, having an audit meeting. Today morning, presented to pemeriksa 1. Pemeriksa 2 not free. My uni memang lawak... even my last presentation also wanna buat lawak with me, causing me not having a good night sleep yesterday (woke up @ 3am and roll around till 4am).

Anyway, I'm done with Viva. Lecturers commented that it was good. Praise God. No need to ubah anything. Terus jilid already. Haha. Yes. At last, I'm done! And I realise one thing, prayer answered.

I remembered during my internship when I prayed and asked God to give me a topic that doesn't need me to build a system (was bored with building systems and doing programming, don't ask...), then I got a title that has to do with research and NO PROGRAMMING. No system, no whatsoever, just a model. And only today after my Viva did I realised that God knew, and He answered. Praise God :)

K la, chao first, just came back from Midvalley. Need to go sleep. Super sleepy... -.-"

Lord, I pray that I'll be able to maintain my CGPA at 3.5. Please help me and intervene God. I believe You are able to do it because You are above everything in this world. Help my doubts, help my unbelieve. In Jesus' name, amen.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Of busyness, lack of sleep, appetite lost, running out of time, dead printer, sleepless and release...

Wah, super long la the title of this blog. Haha, was thinking of what did I go through for the past 2 days (since my exam ended on 4th May 2009).

After my exam, I went to mcD with my coursemates (Abu Bakar, Hanisah and Liyana) as a celebration that we've concluded our FINAL PAPER of our FINAL YEAR in UKM (eventhough the deadline for my thesis was on the 7th of May, it was supposedly on the 6th of May but due to the reason of me having to send my thesis through my supervisor, my supervisor - which is also the Dean of FTSM - gave me an extra day). So, after the celebration, as usual, went back to my house and had a rest, taking my own sweet time thinking that I'm able to complete it by 6th of May... stupid me... lesson learnt: DON'T DO LAST MINUTE WORK OR YOU'LL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!

To cut the story short, then came 6th of May (for 2 nights, means on 4th night and 5th night, I slept @ 1.00am and woke up @ 8.00am - I usually need 8 hours of sleep, if not enough, I'll be tired and I will feel super uneasy), 8.00 am and I'm just halfway through Chapter 1, with touchups that need to be done on Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 not forgetting my main page, acknowledgements, abstracts (both BM and BI), table of contents and of course the infamous rujukan and lampiran. "Nevermind, can finish one" was all in my head. Super ego I tell you. Still taking my own sweet time. Thinking that I'm able to finish it by 4pm, bind it and that's it la. Not until the clock strikes at 6.00 pm. "Crap... Still got kandungan, all the senarai and rujukan and lampiran not chet do). I didn't even feel hungry eventhough I skipped my lunch. Ended up having my dinner @ 7.30pm with all the senarai, rujukan and lampiran. My mum asked me this question, "What are you doing whole day in your room? Come out and have dinner." Funny right? Mom, you should know I'm rushing for my thesis... My face doesn't show that I'm under stress / tension meh??? (I didn't tell my mum dat, I just told her I'm doing my thesis :P)

Then came 8.00pm. Haven't done with lampiran and senarai yet. Crap. Must print first then only bind... sei lor... then tiba2 this thought came to me > Eh, can bind first what, later print la. Wah, terus rush to the shop and bind. and binding 3 copies (90 pages x 2 and 45 pages) + 6 plastic covers + 6 muka depan = RM8.80... o.O, it's all worth it la, final year push. After that, came back to home and continued until 11.30pm only manage to finish everything. So, happily i refilled my printer ink tank and started printing. I began with the 45 pages. No problem. (New ink catridges, so new print heads, no clogging, no nothing. Costs me RM137). Then the second copy, for Pemeriksa 1, 91 pages(binding time wrong calculation). Of course, no problem again. Then the third copy, for my supervisor cum Dean, 91 pages (he didn't request, but it's polite and shows that you care for your thesis if you print one for him, this is call pro-active :P), up til lampiran, left 17 pages and suddenly...


I tell you, that time was 1.30am. Where to find a printing shop that is open in the middle of the night? Especially in Serdang? Tension gila... Tried shoving the paper inside but it just won't go in. The printer continued happily printing... SIGH... what to do? Have to pass up the next day @ 8.30am in my Dean's office. Terpaksa tomorrow wake up early and go to UKM area's printing shop, they super early open shop ady one. Then pergi tidur lor... it was 2.00am+... and I didn't have a good night sleep. Woke up @ 7.00am this morning to rush to UKM and try to print but you know what? The shops aren't open yet. Die la this time... ended up went to see my Dean @ 8.30am but managed to see his Personal Assistant. Thank God my Dean was meeting a supervisor. So I quickly hop on my bike and rush to the shop. By that time it was already 8.40am. I say a quick prayer, asking God to open the printing shop. I believe but help my unbelieve. When I reach there, prayer answered. The usual printing shop that opens @ 8.00am tak buka, but the next door one that opens later buka. Haha... You say it's divine intervention or not? I believe it is with all my heart. :)

So there you have it, a release. Haha, I managed to pass up my thesis @ 9.00am, eventhough my Dean is already in a meeting. Heh, but at least I manage to pass it up in the morning. Thank God. :)

Now just left Viva, next Wed's. I'm the first presenter. Pray for me. YES! GRADUATION HERE I COME!

Monday, May 4, 2009

Last and Final lap...

That's it. My last paper in UKM has just ended approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes ago. Had a great time of lunch with my coursemates (I'm the only chinese there), haha.

One more thesis. One more presentation. And I'm off from UKM.

Looking forward to what's installed for me. Thank you God.

Friday, April 24, 2009

3 More Chapters To Go...

Yes, finally Chapter II and III has been approved by my supervisor. He asks my group (3 of us, Melayu, Cina, India = MUHIBBAH) to pass up Chapter IV first, then Chapter V and last but not least Chapter I (reason being Chapter I should be the summarisation of the whole thesis, and I think if we do chapter II to V, then we can change the scope and target of the whole thesis in chapter I, brilliant eh?)

Now I can sleep in peace.

So... 60% done, 40% more and final time to pass up the draft would be - 6th May.

Yes yes yes! Exciting! Yes yes yes!

CPR later...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Prayers. Confirmed.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


1 Thesis... - 70% (left documentation only) ^_^V

3 Papers... - 0% (Haven't started anything. 1st paper on 23rd Apr, 2nd on 27th Apr and 3rd on 4th May)

The final showdown... Final exam for this semester... Final exam as a student in UKM...

It has been 3 years...




Sunday, April 12, 2009


Feeling down? Hmm...

Thinking too much. Yeaps yeaps.

But... imagine a girl ajak me and fetch me all the way to do stuff and invite me go for movie/dinner?

A girl should ajak a girl right, or a bunch of friends? Haha

Same goes as a guy ajak a guy/a bunch of guys/a bunch of friends?


Saturday, March 28, 2009


Should I nag?
Should I not nag?
If I don't nag, you might say I don't care?
If I do nag, you might feel that I'm hard to be pleased and very mahuan?

Courtesy of

–verb (used with object)
to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaints, or demands.
to keep in a state of troubled awareness or anxiety, as a recurrent pain or problem: She had certain misgivings that nagged her.

–verb (used without object)
to find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner (often fol. by at): If they start nagging at each other, I'm going home.
to cause pain, discomfort, distress, depression, etc. (often fol. by at): This headache has been nagging at me all day.

Causes discomfort, distress, depression. Is it because we are challenged from our comfort zone?
I usually don't nag unless you're very important to me, that's when I nag.
Usually when I nag, it's regarding something that I see as important, not just to me but to everyone. I don't nag and aim at just one person. When I nag, I look at the big picture and the future.

I will still nag and voice out even if it hurts, even if it's painful.

Sigh... life is hard. Feelings of disappointment sucks. I hate what I'm feeling right now. Sorry, I shouldn't think thrice before I say anything. I believe there's a lot of ways to deal with things.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

What's wrong with you?

What's wrong with you? Even the same struggles?


Monday, March 23, 2009


Was praying and asking God to speak to me and I uttered these words in my head...

God, I pray that You'll remind me that "for everything, there is a season". You'll remind me that You are "in control", and help me to realise that when the time comes, things will be "exceedingly abundant".

Then I stopped and I realised that God spoke in my prayer. Because these words just came... without me even realising it?

Talk about creepyness... -.-

Saturday, March 21, 2009

3rd time...

Tiba-tiba, this statement was made.
How do you want me to answer?
I thought you're determined?
From where I see it, I'm determined too.
You are right, nonetheless.
That I need to get the confirmation myself.
I pray that God will speak to me,
Eventhough I dunno whether it is in dreams,
or visions,
or prophesy,
or maybe just a friend telling me that it is you.
Since you're not in a rush, I'll try not to rush you too.
But this is not easy and I hope you do understand.
Right now I'm feeling angry.
I'm feeling disappointed.
The third time I'm feeling like this.
I believe God is showing me something.
Would it be better if God speaks to us at the same time?
Would it be better if once again I act bodoh and pretend that I do not know?

I need some sleep. Having headaches.

No worries, I will move on.

God, you know what I'm going through.
Speak to me, I need to hear from You.
I need to hear what You have to say, not what others are saying.
I need to know what is Your will in this.
I need to know why is this happening right now.
I need answers, not silent whispers.
I need audible answers. Do not forsake me.

Where are you, God? Have you forgotten about me? Don't pass me by.

I humble myself and I'll be waiting for You.

Monday, March 16, 2009


With frowning face, my dad said to me, "See la, after 5 years, you'll surely change car!"

You guys might be wondering what's going on. Hmm, where should I start...

It's like this, few weeks back, I was discussing with my dad about me getting a car. My dad told me to get a cheap car first (Saga BLM) while I was actually aiming for a MyVI. My dad was telling me MyVI is too expensive and all (RM50K) while I on the other hand don't believe in PROTON cars (due to super alot of complains and seeing the problems in PROTON cars myself - my dad owns a Saga and then changed to a Wira).

And guess what? My dad went into a defensive mode, and start saying stereotype things, such as after 5 years, I'll change the car, no point getting an expensive car coz later I'll be "changing" it anyway, get so expensive also useless coz I'll be "changing" it anyway. I was telling him that the reason for getting a MyVI is for the safety of it (Dual Airbags, ABS) while BLM doesn't have (yes it does, only driver seat airbag, and that's all). My dad straight away tell me this, "You want safety? Get a Volvo". It's totally out of the picture in a sense that he's trying to get on my nerves and irritate me. Thank God I was able to control my temper and walk out of the conversation, if I stayed there, I would have shouted back at my dad, seriously.

And so, today, the conversation continued and yes we did argue but it was not to say a shouting match la. I decided that I won't be getting a car (due to my dad asking me to take a 5 year loan and to take a 5 year loan of RM40K, I would have to pay back RM700 per month. That's bull to me.). Therefore I've decided not to get a car yet due to too expensive and I'll be taking bike la, fair and square.

Sometimes I wonder why is my dad so stereotype? I pray that I won't be like him when I'm old.

To my dad: Yes, I respect your opinions, but the decision is mine. Let me do the decision. I'm 23 and I'm no longer under your "chains" so to speak. Anyway, it's my hard earn money, not yours.

Ps: My dad is not a Christian.

Edited: The reason I put my dad is not a Christian, is not because I'm trying to tell you guys that RELIGION matters but the reason I put it there is so that you guys know what background I come from (I'm the only Christian in my family, for now). :)


Wednesday, March 11, 2009

God spoke.

This is what God said:

Move on my child. Stop indulging in your situation. You have to go through the things that I've allowed you to go through, in order to shape you and mold you to be who I want you to be.

Reminds me of the story of the pot asking the Potter "why did You make me this way?"



Why is it so hard to wanna make it right?
Why is it so hard when it involves feelings and emotions?
Why is it so hard when I felt that we're just trying to please the people around us?
God, what do You have to say about this? I really wanna know...

I know I won't like this... but through out these feelings, I choose to believe that God is trying to mold me and trying to tell me something. God, what are you trying to tell me? Please give me specific facts/details and help my heart to be able to accept it.

Sigh... I don't know what to say. I need to sleep and bury all these. I hate what I'm feeling right now. The feeling of "tak puas hati"... the feeling of "what the heck?"

Would it be any better if I just buat bodoh and didn't "guess" it? Would it be any better if nobody knows? I can only imagine and wonder...

Ahhh... forget about it...

Monday, March 9, 2009


I don't understand why people (this means that alot of my friends too) like to use the word camwhore. If I'm not mistaken, and according to my own understanding, it's the same meaning as "like to take pictures" or "like to take siok sendiri (self absorption) pics". I went to and searched for "camwhore". Let's see what camwhore really means:

No results found for camwhore:
Did you mean cam whore (in dictionary) or Cam whore (in reference)?

What do you mean by no results? It can't be due to alot of my friends like to use that word! So I clicked on the links and this is what says:

Cam whore - 2 reference results

Cam whore
A cam whore (sometimes cam-whore or cam-slut) is an individual who exposes himself or herself on the Internet with webcam software in exchange for goods, usually by encouraging viewers to purchase items on their wish lists or add to their online accounts. While the label is usually considered derogatory and insulting, it is also used by these people to describe themselves, occasionally in a self-deprecating manner. The term "cam whore" is also used to refer to individuals who post pictures or videos of themselves on the Internet to gain attention. The term disparages those who post pictures of themselves at inappropriate times or places, and usually implies self-absorption. This second usage of the term, deriding vanity and histrionics, is overtaking the prior, more intuitive definition. It is usually synonymous with "attention whore".

The term camwhore was first used in print as early as November 2001, but may have originated in Australia as early as 1999. Some insight into the world of underage cam whores was provided by a major article in the New York Times. It described the story of Justin Berry, a thirteen-year old boy who, after hooking up his webcam and listing himself on an online forum in order to make friends, was propositioned by older men to strip and masturbate on camera. CNN referred to him as "in the language of cyberspace... a cam-whore". He eventually started his own paysite, was molested for money, sold video recordings of his encounters with Mexican prostitutes, and helped hire other underage models. He made several hundred thousand dollars over five years. In the end he turned all information over to prosecutors in exchange for immunity.

See also

Internet pornography
Erotic capital


See you still dare to say you like to camwhore or not.

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

You knew...

You knew all along what I needed.
You knew all along what I pray.
You knew all along even when I didn't pray.
You knew.

I'm marvelled at the way things work according to Your will.
I'm marvelled at how You bring it together.

I can't wait for it to come to pass.


But still, I will wait. Because I choose to obey You and I wanna make it right this time.

Thank You for second chances.

I love You and I want You to know. Words can't express what I'm feeling now and what I'm going through now but I know You are always there for me, and always there against me when I am not righteous. Thank You.


Tuesday, March 3, 2009


#include < i o s t r e a m >

using namespace std;

int main
cout << "I'm determined to finish up my Thesis by end of March!" << endl;
return 0;

Monday, February 23, 2009

You are forever in my life.

Was playing the guitar, going through chord progressions for the key of G and suddenly played this song. Haha. Guess I'll have it posted here la.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the season
Cover me with Your hands
And Lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You, Lord a hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through It all

*sings joyfully and "trying" to play skillfully.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Medical Screening

This morning, woke up at 9am, terus go to DRS Young, Newton & Rakan-rakan to get a body screening. Before that, went to Menara ExxonMobil to collect my parcel (inside got all those borang-borang pekerjaan and stuffs) and then only went to the clinic. Reach there around 10am and was quite anxious (the last time I went was just urine test, drug test only, now whole body).

First test: After filling those forms, first test: Urine. Had to go to the toilet and pee, and someone behind me watching me pee... The uncle was telling me this, "If you're working in offshore, they will stand in front of you and see you pee. This is considered okay already." And I replied, "Oh... I see I see, but it's arkward because you're standing behind me..." And I laughed. LOL

Second test: After that, I was asked to sit down on a chair and he tied my right arm with a band. He took out a syringe and applied alcohol on my arm. He asked me not to look and he poke the needle in. I paling takut blood test... hahaha. Anyway, it was over around 30 seconds. After that, he explained to me why do this, why do that and ask me to sign the consent form.

Third test: My height was taken, my weight was taken, and my eyesight was tested too.

Fourth test: ECG, a nurse sapu some gel on both of my legs, my wrists, my chest. Then she put on some weird looking machine-like-thingy to check my ECG.

Fifth test: I was asked to inhale and blow into an inhaler-like thingy. To test my lungs. Man, it was hard... got technique somemore... They need 3 blows and if not mistaken, I think I made like 20 blows to get a perfect 3 blow...

Sixth test: I was asked to enter a sound room thingy to test my hearing. Could hardly hear super low noises on my left ear. The nurse say I "ngam-ngam" pass and ask me to take care of my ears...

Seventh test: Final test, was asked into a doctor's room, the doctor signs all the tests and checked my heartbeat + bloodpressure. After that, kau tim.

If everytime you work also need to do all these screening... I would rather stick with just one company and work my way up the corporate ladder...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


ExxonMobil called. :D

Saturday, February 14, 2009

February 14th

Wooo, Valentine's! Lotz of love today, but seems like most people only celebrate their love for one another on today, which I think it's sad la. Should celebrate everyday right, instead of just one particular day?

Nothing much, just felt like posting some thoughts only.

Hoc Mun, blessed birthday!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Malam Muzikal Krismas 2009

My third MK.

It was a blast yesterday, eventhough it started a bit blurry, but it ended gracefully. Haha. I was actually quite tired yesterday, in the sense that I'm there at 10am, went back to take a bath around 4.30pm and then reach there by 5.15pm. Overall, I thank God that He has brought me thru, eventhough it was a bit kaku for me to be onstage with my acoustic to play and sing at the same time (it was actually my first time, for those who do not believe it... I was like, "Oh, so this is the kind of feeling of being a worship leader la... I see I see...").

Special thanks to all the PERKEBians and the sound engineers and especially my awesome God for helping in this year's MK!

God bless!

Monday, February 9, 2009


Today is my birthday and just wanna take this opportunity to say thanks to all my friends who have smsed me or even tried to call me. Sorry you didn't get any reply from me because I've switched off my handphone :P

Was on my way to the barber just now (but the barber shop didn't open), and on the way there, I forgot to give thanks to God, so here goes.

Thank You for 23... or rather 22... years of life that You have given to me so far. Thank You for always being faithful to me eventhough at times I'm not faithful to You. Thank You for always being there for me through ups and downs. Thank You for all the people that you have put in my life, all the time that has been invested in me, all the experiences that I've gained from them. Thank You for Your grace, that is sufficient for me. Thank You for putting me into troubles and carrying me out of those troubles. Thank You for what You have done and what You are going to do in me. I love You and I am excited with the things that You are going to do in my life.

God bless! :D

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Church hopping?

Just woke up and was thinking of something regarding church-hopping.

Disclaimer: I'm not judging anyone here, I just feel like writing about it and see what's your say about church-hopping.

Definition (according to me la): Christians who go from one church to another finding for the "best" church, a church that fulfills his/her standards.

So... let's say church-hopper A goes from one church to one church, and since church 1, A said that he/she wants to serve there (or maybe haven't serve yet), but not long later (around 1/2 years), A goes to another church and serves there (or maybe haven't serve yet), not long later, another church, and the cycle continues.

My question is:

1. Is there a "best" church out there? Aren't all churches' focus is the same, to serve the same God, the same Lord, the same Father (1 Corinthians 12:4-6) ? I thought we are call to be faithful in whichever church we're landed in (to me, a church that I can grow in, but sometimes you'll feel that you'll be stagnant)? I believe every church goes through a season, ups and downs, and I believe in staying there and help out as much as I can, because I believe that the church belongs to God, belongs to Jesus Christ and belongs to the Holy Spirit. I believe God the Father would do and will do something about it because it is His church after all.

2. In your opinion, why there are some Christians church-hop? I kinda like "don't understand" why because there are some of my friends who go from one church to another, gungho about it, and then later no news already. When I ask them after a while, they'll tell me they are serving in a different church and all. I believe there are a lot of denominations and denominations are good, in a sense that it caters to every Christian. But what about a church-hopper that hops from one church to another and those churches belong to the same denomination?

Comments are welcomed! :)

Saturday, February 7, 2009

God... why?

Dear God,

I don't understand why certain people say things that they think it will make them sound super duper spiritual but actually their spiritual life is in doubt? I don't understand why some people can say random things and claim that it's from You? I don't understand why certain people claim that they hear from You?

I doubt... I seriously doubt.

God, help my unbelief.

Give me a new mind and a new heart, Lord.

I'm desperate for You.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Blessed Chinese "Niu" Year!

Updates! Wah... sudah lama I didn't blog d... Sorry la... was a bit "bz" *cough*actuallylazy*cough*, that's why lor. Anyway, just finish "pai nian", as usual, visited 2 places, first was in Kepong (travel all the way from Serdang...) and then the next destination was my Yee Poh's house in USJ (was driving from Kepong to there with my dad as my assistant driver and mum behind d car reading newspaper).

My Chinese New Year would be the same every year. Pergi Kepong eat the infamous Bihun Goreng Vegetarian Style (Home recipe k? Even my mum doesn't know how to cook it), and after that chit chat abit and then go to USJ for more cookies and biscuits and cakes and chinese tea / orange juice while watching those cute lil Shih Tzu's running around the house. Basically that's what I do there every year la... chit chat also not long and deep conversations with my cousins and uncles and aunties. One major factor is because I grow up in Taiping, most of the time also only see them once in a year... Most of my time spent growing up with friends from Taiping, that's why... Haha (don't say I anti social k?).

Anyway, just want to take this opportunity to wish all my friends a Blessed Chinese New Year to you and your family members. May God bring you joy, peace, health, prosperity and everything nice to your household! Amen!

-Signing off. Terence-