In the middle of somewhere...

Convo: 16th Aug 2009

2009-08-16T20:38:00.002+08:00

16th August 2009: My convocation.

After spending 7 semesters (3 years + 1 short semester) in UKM, I'm leaving UKM for good (I think so, unless I continue doing my masters there). The feeling was a mixture of happy and sad. Happy because I'm graduating, and moving on to the next phase of life. Sad because I'll be missing the friends that I've made in UKM, my lecturers, my life there.

Today was a very memorable day indeed, thanks to the presence of great friends (my coursemates, my ex-roommate, my choir mates, PERKEBians), my parents and also my girlfriend. Time passes so fast. I still remember when I got into UKM, I was complaining to my parents about the journey from Serdang to UKM is far (eventhough it's just 15KM but hey, last time in Taiping, it took me just 5KM to go to school :P), but now I realise that actually UKM is very near... haha, compared to my workplace (24.4 KM).

I want to take this opportunity to thank God for seeing me through this 3 years, through the happy and sad times, through stress times, through exams, and everything else. I want to thank my coursemates for supporting me as well. I want to thank Artisukma Choir members for making my life so wonderful and colourful and beautiful with your voices :) I want to thank my ex-roommate, it's such an honour to be able to call you brother and to be able to grow together in UKM with you. I want to thank PERKEBians for their prayers, for their support and for them :) (Note: The order of "thanks" doesn't mean anything ya. I just type what I feel and didn't arrange it).

I will be looking forward in seeing you guys (Choir Annual Dinner, MK, ADP, chit chat, meetings, yum char) from now onwards :P Haha. Adios!

PS: Lisa, here's your update! :P BTW, nice finger nail polishers :D

Next phase of life...

2009-06-26T17:33:00.001+08:00

Just an update: I'm starting work next Wednesday (1st July). Dunno what to expect... nervous... but acting cool... hahaha :P Pray with me. :)

It's official ;)

2009-05-17T16:01:00.002+08:00

Summary...

Both got confirmation.
Both waited.
Both struggled in prayer.
Both agreed.
Leaders met.
Pastor acknowledged.

It's official. ;)

17 May 2009.

Moving on.

2009-05-14T14:44:00.000+08:00

Viva was separated to 2 phases. Yesterday presented to pemeriksa 2. Pemeriksa 1 not free, having an audit meeting. Today morning, presented to pemeriksa 1. Pemeriksa 2 not free. My uni memang lawak... even my last presentation also wanna buat lawak with me, causing me not having a good night sleep yesterday (woke up @ 3am and roll around till 4am).

Anyway, I'm done with Viva. Lecturers commented that it was good. Praise God. No need to ubah anything. Terus jilid already. Haha. Yes. At last, I'm done! And I realise one thing, prayer answered.

I remembered during my internship when I prayed and asked God to give me a topic that doesn't need me to build a system (was bored with building systems and doing programming, don't ask...), then I got a title that has to do with research and NO PROGRAMMING. No system, no whatsoever, just a model. And only today after my Viva did I realised that God knew, and He answered. Praise God :)

K la, chao first, just came back from Midvalley. Need to go sleep. Super sleepy... -.-"

Lord, I pray that I'll be able to maintain my CGPA at 3.5. Please help me and intervene God. I believe You are able to do it because You are above everything in this world. Help my doubts, help my unbelieve. In Jesus' name, amen.

Of busyness, lack of sleep, appetite lost, running out of time, dead printer, sleepless and release...

2009-05-07T10:45:00.003+08:00

Wah, super long la the title of this blog. Haha, was thinking of what did I go through for the past 2 days (since my exam ended on 4th May 2009).

After my exam, I went to mcD with my coursemates (Abu Bakar, Hanisah and Liyana) as a celebration that we've concluded our FINAL PAPER of our FINAL YEAR in UKM (eventhough the deadline for my thesis was on the 7th of May, it was supposedly on the 6th of May but due to the reason of me having to send my thesis through my supervisor, my supervisor - which is also the Dean of FTSM - gave me an extra day). So, after the celebration, as usual, went back to my house and had a rest, taking my own sweet time thinking that I'm able to complete it by 6th of May... stupid me... lesson learnt: DON'T DO LAST MINUTE WORK OR YOU'LL SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!

To cut the story short, then came 6th of May (for 2 nights, means on 4th night and 5th night, I slept @ 1.00am and woke up @ 8.00am - I usually need 8 hours of sleep, if not enough, I'll be tired and I will feel super uneasy), 8.00 am and I'm just halfway through Chapter 1, with touchups that need to be done on Chapter 4 and Chapter 5 not forgetting my main page, acknowledgements, abstracts (both BM and BI), table of contents and of course the infamous rujukan and lampiran. "Nevermind, can finish one" was all in my head. Super ego I tell you. Still taking my own sweet time. Thinking that I'm able to finish it by 4pm, bind it and that's it la. Not until the clock strikes at 6.00 pm. "Crap... Still got kandungan, all the senarai and rujukan and lampiran not chet do). I didn't even feel hungry eventhough I skipped my lunch. Ended up having my dinner @ 7.30pm with all the senarai, rujukan and lampiran. My mum asked me this question, "What are you doing whole day in your room? Come out and have dinner." Funny right? Mom, you should know I'm rushing for my thesis... My face doesn't show that I'm under stress / tension meh??? (I didn't tell my mum dat, I just told her I'm doing my thesis :P)

Then came 8.00pm. Haven't done with lampiran and senarai yet. Crap. Must print first then only bind... sei lor... then tiba2 this thought came to me > Eh, can bind first what, later print la. Wah, terus rush to the shop and bind. and binding 3 copies (90 pages x 2 and 45 pages) + 6 plastic covers + 6 muka depan = RM8.80... o.O, it's all worth it la, final year push. After that, came back to home and continued until 11.30pm only manage to finish everything. So, happily i refilled my printer ink tank and started printing. I began with the 45 pages. No problem. (New ink catridges, so new print heads, no clogging, no nothing. Costs me RM137). Then the second copy, for Pemeriksa 1, 91 pages(binding time wrong calculation). Of course, no problem again. Then the third copy, for my supervisor cum Dean, 91 pages (he didn't request, but it's polite and shows that you care for your thesis if you print one for him, this is call pro-active :P), up til lampiran, left 17 pages and suddenly...

MY PRINTER'S PAPER FEEDING ROLLER IS DEAD...

I tell you, that time was 1.30am. Where to find a printing shop that is open in the middle of the night? Especially in Serdang? Tension gila... Tried shoving the paper inside but it just won't go in. The printer continued happily printing... SIGH... what to do? Have to pass up the next day @ 8.30am in my Dean's office. Terpaksa tomorrow wake up early and go to UKM area's printing shop, they super early open shop ady one. Then pergi tidur lor... it was 2.00am+... and I didn't have a good night sleep. Woke up @ 7.00am this morning to rush to UKM and try to print but you know what? The shops aren't open yet. Die la this time... ended up went to see my Dean @ 8.30am but managed to see his Personal Assistant. Thank God my Dean was meeting a supervisor. So I quickly hop on my bike and rush to the shop. By that time it was already 8.40am. I say a quick prayer, asking God to open the printing shop. I believe but help my unbelieve. When I reach there, prayer answered. The usual printing shop that opens @ 8.00am tak buka, but the next door one that opens later buka. Haha... You say it's divine intervention or not? I believe it is with all my heart. :)

So there you have it, a release. Haha, I managed to pass up my thesis @ 9.00am, eventhough my Dean is already in a meeting. Heh, but at least I manage to pass it up in the morning. Thank God. :)

Now just left Viva, next Wed's. I'm the first presenter. Pray for me. YES! GRADUATION HERE I COME!

Last and Final lap...

2009-05-04T15:42:00.000+08:00

That's it. My last paper in UKM has just ended approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes ago. Had a great time of lunch with my coursemates (I'm the only chinese there), haha.

One more thesis. One more presentation. And I'm off from UKM.

Looking forward to what's installed for me. Thank you God.

3 More Chapters To Go...

2009-04-24T17:28:00.002+08:00

Yes, finally Chapter II and III has been approved by my supervisor. He asks my group (3 of us, Melayu, Cina, India = MUHIBBAH) to pass up Chapter IV first, then Chapter V and last but not least Chapter I (reason being Chapter I should be the summarisation of the whole thesis, and I think if we do chapter II to V, then we can change the scope and target of the whole thesis in chapter I, brilliant eh?)

Now I can sleep in peace.

So... 60% done, 40% more and final time to pass up the draft would be - 6th May.

Yes yes yes! Exciting! Yes yes yes!

CPR later...

Confirmation

2009-04-21T10:32:00.001+08:00

Prayers. Confirmed.

Finally...

2009-04-16T09:35:00.000+08:00

1 Thesis... - 70% (left documentation only) ^_^V

3 Papers... - 0% (Haven't started anything. 1st paper on 23rd Apr, 2nd on 27th Apr and 3rd on 4th May)

The final showdown... Final exam for this semester... Final exam as a student in UKM...

It has been 3 years...

Going...

Going...

Gone...

Down

2009-04-12T21:51:00.003+08:00

Feeling down? Hmm...

Thinking too much. Yeaps yeaps.

But... imagine a girl ajak me and fetch me all the way to do stuff and invite me go for movie/dinner?

A girl should ajak a girl right, or a bunch of friends? Haha

Same goes as a guy ajak a guy/a bunch of guys/a bunch of friends?

*swallows.

Nag?

2009-03-28T20:51:00.003+08:00

Should I nag?
Should I not nag?
If I don't nag, you might say I don't care?
If I do nag, you might feel that I'm hard to be pleased and very mahuan?

Courtesy of dictionary.reference.com:

–verb (used with object)
1.
to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaints, or demands.
2.
to keep in a state of troubled awareness or anxiety, as a recurrent pain or problem: She had certain misgivings that nagged her.

–verb (used without object)
3.
to find fault or complain in an irritating, wearisome, or relentless manner (often fol. by at): If they start nagging at each other, I'm going home.
4.
to cause pain, discomfort, distress, depression, etc. (often fol. by at): This headache has been nagging at me all day.

Causes discomfort, distress, depression. Is it because we are challenged from our comfort zone?
I usually don't nag unless you're very important to me, that's when I nag.
Usually when I nag, it's regarding something that I see as important, not just to me but to everyone. I don't nag and aim at just one person. When I nag, I look at the big picture and the future.

I will still nag and voice out even if it hurts, even if it's painful.

Sigh... life is hard. Feelings of disappointment sucks. I hate what I'm feeling right now. Sorry, I shouldn't think thrice before I say anything. I believe there's a lot of ways to deal with things.

What's wrong with you?

2009-03-24T23:07:00.001+08:00

What's wrong with you? Even the same struggles?

OMG...

Conversation

2009-03-23T09:58:00.003+08:00

Was praying and asking God to speak to me and I uttered these words in my head...

God, I pray that You'll remind me that "for everything, there is a season". You'll remind me that You are "in control", and help me to realise that when the time comes, things will be "exceedingly abundant".

Then I stopped and I realised that God spoke in my prayer. Because these words just came... without me even realising it?

Talk about creepyness... -.-

3rd time...

2009-03-21T23:49:00.002+08:00

Tiba-tiba, this statement was made.
How do you want me to answer?
I thought you're determined?
From where I see it, I'm determined too.
You are right, nonetheless.
That I need to get the confirmation myself.
I pray that God will speak to me,
Eventhough I dunno whether it is in dreams,
or visions,
or prophesy,
or maybe just a friend telling me that it is you.
Since you're not in a rush, I'll try not to rush you too.
But this is not easy and I hope you do understand.
Right now I'm feeling angry.
I'm feeling disappointed.
The third time I'm feeling like this.
I believe God is showing me something.
Would it be better if God speaks to us at the same time?
Would it be better if once again I act bodoh and pretend that I do not know?

I need some sleep. Having headaches.

No worries, I will move on.

God, you know what I'm going through.
Speak to me, I need to hear from You.
I need to hear what You have to say, not what others are saying.
I need to know what is Your will in this.
I need to know why is this happening right now.
I need answers, not silent whispers.
I need audible answers. Do not forsake me.

Where are you, God? Have you forgotten about me? Don't pass me by.

I humble myself and I'll be waiting for You.

Stereotype?

2009-03-16T17:29:00.004+08:00

With frowning face, my dad said to me, "See la, after 5 years, you'll surely change car!"

You guys might be wondering what's going on. Hmm, where should I start...

It's like this, few weeks back, I was discussing with my dad about me getting a car. My dad told me to get a cheap car first (Saga BLM) while I was actually aiming for a MyVI. My dad was telling me MyVI is too expensive and all (RM50K) while I on the other hand don't believe in PROTON cars (due to super alot of complains and seeing the problems in PROTON cars myself - my dad owns a Saga and then changed to a Wira).

And guess what? My dad went into a defensive mode, and start saying stereotype things, such as after 5 years, I'll change the car, no point getting an expensive car coz later I'll be "changing" it anyway, get so expensive also useless coz I'll be "changing" it anyway. I was telling him that the reason for getting a MyVI is for the safety of it (Dual Airbags, ABS) while BLM doesn't have (yes it does, only driver seat airbag, and that's all). My dad straight away tell me this, "You want safety? Get a Volvo". It's totally out of the picture in a sense that he's trying to get on my nerves and irritate me. Thank God I was able to control my temper and walk out of the conversation, if I stayed there, I would have shouted back at my dad, seriously.

And so, today, the conversation continued and yes we did argue but it was not to say a shouting match la. I decided that I won't be getting a car (due to my dad asking me to take a 5 year loan and to take a 5 year loan of RM40K, I would have to pay back RM700 per month. That's bull to me.). Therefore I've decided not to get a car yet due to too expensive and I'll be taking bike la, fair and square.

Sometimes I wonder why is my dad so stereotype? I pray that I won't be like him when I'm old.

To my dad: Yes, I respect your opinions, but the decision is mine. Let me do the decision. I'm 23 and I'm no longer under your "chains" so to speak. Anyway, it's my hard earn money, not yours.

Ps: My dad is not a Christian.

Edited: The reason I put my dad is not a Christian, is not because I'm trying to tell you guys that RELIGION matters but the reason I put it there is so that you guys know what background I come from (I'm the only Christian in my family, for now). :)

-end-

God spoke.

2009-03-11T13:47:00.002+08:00

This is what God said:

Move on my child. Stop indulging in your situation. You have to go through the things that I've allowed you to go through, in order to shape you and mold you to be who I want you to be.

Reminds me of the story of the pot asking the Potter "why did You make me this way?"

:)

W.h.y?

2009-03-11T00:25:00.003+08:00

Why is it so hard to wanna make it right?
Why is it so hard when it involves feelings and emotions?
Why is it so hard when I felt that we're just trying to please the people around us?
God, what do You have to say about this? I really wanna know...

I know I won't like this... but through out these feelings, I choose to believe that God is trying to mold me and trying to tell me something. God, what are you trying to tell me? Please give me specific facts/details and help my heart to be able to accept it.

Sigh... I don't know what to say. I need to sleep and bury all these. I hate what I'm feeling right now. The feeling of "tak puas hati"... the feeling of "what the heck?"

Would it be any better if I just buat bodoh and didn't "guess" it? Would it be any better if nobody knows? I can only imagine and wonder...

Ahhh... forget about it...

Camwhore?

2009-03-09T14:55:00.003+08:00

I don't understand why people (this means that alot of my friends too) like to use the word camwhore. If I'm not mistaken, and according to my own understanding, it's the same meaning as "like to take pictures" or "like to take siok sendiri (self absorption) pics". I went to http://www.dictionary.com and searched for "camwhore". Let's see what camwhore really means:

No results found for camwhore:
Did you mean cam whore (in dictionary) or Cam whore (in reference)?

What do you mean by no results? It can't be due to alot of my friends like to use that word! So I clicked on the links and this is what http://www.reference.com says:

Cam whore - 2 reference results

Cam whore
A cam whore (sometimes cam-whore or cam-slut) is an individual who exposes himself or herself on the Internet with webcam software in exchange for goods, usually by encouraging viewers to purchase items on their wish lists or add to their online accounts. While the label is usually considered derogatory and insulting, it is also used by these people to describe themselves, occasionally in a self-deprecating manner. The term "cam whore" is also used to refer to individuals who post pictures or videos of themselves on the Internet to gain attention. The term disparages those who post pictures of themselves at inappropriate times or places, and usually implies self-absorption. This second usage of the term, deriding vanity and histrionics, is overtaking the prior, more intuitive definition. It is usually synonymous with "attention whore".

The term camwhore was first used in print as early as November 2001, but may have originated in Australia as early as 1999. Some insight into the world of underage cam whores was provided by a major article in the New York Times. It described the story of Justin Berry, a thirteen-year old boy who, after hooking up his webcam and listing himself on an online forum in order to make friends, was propositioned by older men to strip and masturbate on camera. CNN referred to him as "in the language of cyberspace... a cam-whore". He eventually started his own paysite, was molested for money, sold video recordings of his encounters with Mexican prostitutes, and helped hire other underage models. He made several hundred thousand dollars over five years. In the end he turned all information over to prosecutors in exchange for immunity.

See also

Internet pornography
Erotic capital

Source: http://www.reference.com/search?q=Cam+whore

See you still dare to say you like to camwhore or not.

You knew...

2009-03-04T23:37:00.002+08:00

You knew all along what I needed.
You knew all along what I pray.
You knew all along even when I didn't pray.
You knew.

I'm marvelled at the way things work according to Your will.
I'm marvelled at how You bring it together.

I can't wait for it to come to pass.

.
.
.

But still, I will wait. Because I choose to obey You and I wanna make it right this time.

Thank You for second chances.

I love You and I want You to know. Words can't express what I'm feeling now and what I'm going through now but I know You are always there for me, and always there against me when I am not righteous. Thank You.

-end-

Determined.

2009-03-03T12:09:00.005+08:00

#include < i o s t r e a m >

using namespace std;

int main
{
cout << "I'm determined to finish up my Thesis by end of March!" << endl;
return 0;
}

You are forever in my life.

2009-02-23T01:48:00.002+08:00

Was playing the guitar, going through chord progressions for the key of G and suddenly played this song. Haha. Guess I'll have it posted here la.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the season
Cover me with Your hands
And Lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I'll sing to You, Lord a hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I'm carried in everlasting arms
You'll never let me go
Through It all

*sings joyfully and "trying" to play skillfully.

Medical Screening

2009-02-19T14:32:00.003+08:00

This morning, woke up at 9am, terus go to DRS Young, Newton & Rakan-rakan to get a body screening. Before that, went to Menara ExxonMobil to collect my parcel (inside got all those borang-borang pekerjaan and stuffs) and then only went to the clinic. Reach there around 10am and was quite anxious (the last time I went was just urine test, drug test only, now whole body).

First test: After filling those forms, first test: Urine. Had to go to the toilet and pee, and someone behind me watching me pee... The uncle was telling me this, "If you're working in offshore, they will stand in front of you and see you pee. This is considered okay already." And I replied, "Oh... I see I see, but it's arkward because you're standing behind me..." And I laughed. LOL

Second test: After that, I was asked to sit down on a chair and he tied my right arm with a band. He took out a syringe and applied alcohol on my arm. He asked me not to look and he poke the needle in. I paling takut blood test... hahaha. Anyway, it was over around 30 seconds. After that, he explained to me why do this, why do that and ask me to sign the consent form.

Third test: My height was taken, my weight was taken, and my eyesight was tested too.

Fourth test: ECG, a nurse sapu some gel on both of my legs, my wrists, my chest. Then she put on some weird looking machine-like-thingy to check my ECG.

Fifth test: I was asked to inhale and blow into an inhaler-like thingy. To test my lungs. Man, it was hard... got technique somemore... They need 3 blows and if not mistaken, I think I made like 20 blows to get a perfect 3 blow...

Sixth test: I was asked to enter a sound room thingy to test my hearing. Could hardly hear super low noises on my left ear. The nurse say I "ngam-ngam" pass and ask me to take care of my ears...

Seventh test: Final test, was asked into a doctor's room, the doctor signs all the tests and checked my heartbeat + bloodpressure. After that, kau tim.

If everytime you work also need to do all these screening... I would rather stick with just one company and work my way up the corporate ladder...

ExxonMobil

2009-02-17T13:52:00.000+08:00

ExxonMobil called. :D

February 14th

2009-02-14T14:42:00.002+08:00

Wooo, Valentine's! Lotz of love today, but seems like most people only celebrate their love for one another on today, which I think it's sad la. Should celebrate everyday right, instead of just one particular day?

Nothing much, just felt like posting some thoughts only.

Hoc Mun, blessed birthday!

Malam Muzikal Krismas 2009

2009-02-13T15:14:00.003+08:00

My third MK.

It was a blast yesterday, eventhough it started a bit blurry, but it ended gracefully. Haha. I was actually quite tired yesterday, in the sense that I'm there at 10am, went back to take a bath around 4.30pm and then reach there by 5.15pm. Overall, I thank God that He has brought me thru, eventhough it was a bit kaku for me to be onstage with my acoustic to play and sing at the same time (it was actually my first time, for those who do not believe it... I was like, "Oh, so this is the kind of feeling of being a worship leader la... I see I see...").

Special thanks to all the PERKEBians and the sound engineers and especially my awesome God for helping in this year's MK!

God bless!

23.

2009-02-09T08:52:00.002+08:00

Today is my birthday and just wanna take this opportunity to say thanks to all my friends who have smsed me or even tried to call me. Sorry you didn't get any reply from me because I've switched off my handphone :P

Edited:
Was on my way to the barber just now (but the barber shop didn't open), and on the way there, I forgot to give thanks to God, so here goes.

Father,
Thank You for 23... or rather 22... years of life that You have given to me so far. Thank You for always being faithful to me eventhough at times I'm not faithful to You. Thank You for always being there for me through ups and downs. Thank You for all the people that you have put in my life, all the time that has been invested in me, all the experiences that I've gained from them. Thank You for Your grace, that is sufficient for me. Thank You for putting me into troubles and carrying me out of those troubles. Thank You for what You have done and what You are going to do in me. I love You and I am excited with the things that You are going to do in my life.

God bless! :D

Church hopping?

2009-02-08T09:54:00.004+08:00

Just woke up and was thinking of something regarding church-hopping.

Disclaimer: I'm not judging anyone here, I just feel like writing about it and see what's your say about church-hopping.

Definition (according to me la): Christians who go from one church to another finding for the "best" church, a church that fulfills his/her standards.

So... let's say church-hopper A goes from one church to one church, and since church 1, A said that he/she wants to serve there (or maybe haven't serve yet), but not long later (around 1/2 years), A goes to another church and serves there (or maybe haven't serve yet), not long later, another church, and the cycle continues.

My question is:

1. Is there a "best" church out there? Aren't all churches' focus is the same, to serve the same God, the same Lord, the same Father (1 Corinthians 12:4-6) ? I thought we are call to be faithful in whichever church we're landed in (to me, a church that I can grow in, but sometimes you'll feel that you'll be stagnant)? I believe every church goes through a season, ups and downs, and I believe in staying there and help out as much as I can, because I believe that the church belongs to God, belongs to Jesus Christ and belongs to the Holy Spirit. I believe God the Father would do and will do something about it because it is His church after all.

2. In your opinion, why there are some Christians church-hop? I kinda like "don't understand" why because there are some of my friends who go from one church to another, gungho about it, and then later no news already. When I ask them after a while, they'll tell me they are serving in a different church and all. I believe there are a lot of denominations and denominations are good, in a sense that it caters to every Christian. But what about a church-hopper that hops from one church to another and those churches belong to the same denomination?

Comments are welcomed! :)

God... why?

2009-02-07T09:41:00.003+08:00

Dear God,

I don't understand why certain people say things that they think it will make them sound super duper spiritual but actually their spiritual life is in doubt? I don't understand why some people can say random things and claim that it's from You? I don't understand why certain people claim that they hear from You?

I doubt... I seriously doubt.

God, help my unbelief.

Give me a new mind and a new heart, Lord.

I'm desperate for You.

Blessed Chinese "Niu" Year!

2009-01-26T15:03:00.003+08:00

Updates! Wah... sudah lama I didn't blog d... Sorry la... was a bit "bz" *cough*actuallylazy*cough*, that's why lor. Anyway, just finish "pai nian", as usual, visited 2 places, first was in Kepong (travel all the way from Serdang...) and then the next destination was my Yee Poh's house in USJ (was driving from Kepong to there with my dad as my assistant driver and mum behind d car reading newspaper).

My Chinese New Year would be the same every year. Pergi Kepong eat the infamous Bihun Goreng Vegetarian Style (Home recipe k? Even my mum doesn't know how to cook it), and after that chit chat abit and then go to USJ for more cookies and biscuits and cakes and chinese tea / orange juice while watching those cute lil Shih Tzu's running around the house. Basically that's what I do there every year la... chit chat also not long and deep conversations with my cousins and uncles and aunties. One major factor is because I grow up in Taiping, most of the time also only see them once in a year... Most of my time spent growing up with friends from Taiping, that's why... Haha (don't say I anti social k?).

Anyway, just want to take this opportunity to wish all my friends a Blessed Chinese New Year to you and your family members. May God bring you joy, peace, health, prosperity and everything nice to your household! Amen!

-Signing off. Terence-

I don't understand...

2008-12-21T23:05:00.003+08:00

I really really don't understand... This week itself, dunno 2 / 3 of my friends telling me they have either 1. Break up; 2. Fall in love with someone that doesn't like them or 3. They paktor with people of different faith (they are Christians but the partner is not).

Sad case wei... seriously... I'm not sure why, I terasa for them one... I believe this is something that God has planted in my heart, maybe by praying for them, maybe God terasa also... It's not my burden to bear but I feel it... deep inside my heart... sakit tau...

I seriously thank God for all the "experiences" that I have gained throughout my failed relationships. It really has opened my eyes to see the bigger picture, rather than seeing it according to my own "fantasy" world. Indeed God has beautiful plans behind things that happened to us, things that He has allowed to happen in our walk.

Sometimes I do wonder why Christians cannot see the importance of building one's character before venturing into a relationship... I seriously pray that my brothers and sisters will not be me la, someone that needs to go through all the pain and hardship in order to learn... Thank God He opened up my eyes la, seriously...

Haha, I'm not so sure what I'm typing here, just feel like shouting > God, what is happening to this world, especially Christians who buta2 pursue relationships with another human being rather than you??? Paktor with different faith??? What does the Bible has to say about this? You tell me...

Tension tension tension...

*Edited: By the way, won't be in KL for a week. SMS/Call me if it's important ya. God bless!

My Rig

2008-12-17T16:26:00.002+08:00

Ok, pictures uploaded in Facebook. Check them out here http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=76353&l=351c9&id=714337467

On to the testimony:
I was actually struggling between giving tithes (10% of my total allowance from my internship) and keeping it to buy another electric guitar (I wanna learn electric, so get another one la :P). Anyway, there are a lot of attacks, for example, questions like, "It's okay la, I keep the money to get the elec, next time work only give tithes la... besides, it's allowance, not gaji also...", "Haven't really work yet ler, this one allowance, tak kira one, so no need to give...", "If I give already... tak cukup to buy an elec la... nvm la, buy elec first...". Was kinda battling these thoughts for a few days... until one day I realise la... Give to God, that's the RIGHT thing to do. And so, I did this prayer, "Lord, I choose to give 10% of the allowance back to You because You are the one that provided me a place for my internship and You are the one that provided the amount of allowance that I'm getting. I choose to honour You and give to You. I will not trust in the amount that I have left to get another electric guitar but I'll just commit this plan into Your hands.".

Eventhough I prayed like that right... the funny thing is this, in my mind, I was thinking, "Nevermind la... next time work only get one electric guitar la...". I know I will get one electric guitar but dunno when saja... Haha. Then, something miraculous happened. 2 days later, one fine morning, my dad was shouting in the living room, "Hey, I kena lottery la!" (he was excited because more than a DECADE already tak kena lottery, eventhough faithfully "investing" in lotteries for more than a DECADE. I was awaken by my dad's excitement. Therefore I came out of my room, asked my dad to tone down (when you kena lottery, you don't want your neighbours to know right?). Anyway, after that, I went to brush my teeth and wash my face. My dad told me from far, "You want to get an electric right? Jom".

I was like, "Is this for real? What the heck...". I thought it's just "coincidence" la... manatau right, the lottery ticket that my dad kena, he didn't buy that number... He "picked" it up (literally). At that particular time I know it has to be God, no one else d. Memang it's from Him la. After that I went back to Taiping for camp and then I told this story to my bestie and you know what he said? "If your prayer aligns with God's will for you at this particular season of your life, God will answer that prayer, according to His will for you." Profound gila... :D

So, that's all la. Have fun.

PS: Pray prayers that align with God's will for you, that's why it's wise to end a prayer with - Your will be done. Cheers.

Soon

2008-12-12T23:08:00.000+08:00

I'm posting my rig soon. Stay tune for pictures to come :)

Misi Orang Asli (MOA)

2008-12-03T18:23:00.003+08:00

I just came back yesterday. A bunch of mix feelings involved. Throughout the past 4 days and 3 nights (29th Nov - 2nd Dec) staying in Kampung Serigala, God has opened my eyes to see His greatness and also to rely on Him in the my personal matters and also the matters in the world. Somehow after this MOA, I felt there's changes in me... New desires to serve Him more, especially in terms of maybe visiting Kampung Serigala more often.

I felt that it's no point if I were to just go there for MOA and then biarkan sahaja and do nothing about the friendship, the bridge that I have built in this village. Somehow I don't know... When I see the hunger in them to know more of God's word, I felt ashamed of myself. It's a good time to reflect back on myself, in the sense that how I treat and cherish God's word. The villagers there are simple. Do you know that by just telling them, "God loves you", their eyes will be filled with tears of joy? It makes me reflect back on myself. When I'm down at times, yes I remind myself that God loves me, but it's like, I don't really mean it and it doesn't really make any sense to me? Sigh...

One thing for sure is that throughout this experience in MOA, God really opened my eyes to see their needs, their concerns, their life and their ups and downs. I truly believe that greater things have yet to come to this Kampung and also there's greater things to be done in this Kampung. All in all, this was truly an experience that I will never ever forget. I miss the villagers right now... :(

Right now, at this particular time of my life, I am still struggling with managing myself, managing my time and my commitment towards God. God, I need your help, I need your healing. Break me and mould me to become who You wanted me to be. I want to be the man that I was meant to be. Hear me and speak to me, O' God...

PS: Friends, please do take care of your health. Drink lotz of water and becareful in what you eat. Somehow lately when I see my friends fall sick, I kinda like... have compassion for them as in > Eh, you okay or not? Drink lotz of water k? Haha, if you don't want me to bug you like that, remind yourself to take good care of yourself :)

BTW: Going back to Taiping tomorrow, you won't be able to see me onlining until 10th Dec. So see you peeps ya! :)

To Danny, Su-Jian, Swe Jyan, Kelly, Wan Sian, Grace, Julian and David: You guys are still in my prayer. God be with you and I know that God is going to use all of you to shake Kampung Serigala. Amen.

Ended properly...

2008-11-21T23:36:00.003+08:00

Hmm, a mix of happiness and sadness. My last day in ExxonMobil. My internship has finally finished and I'm glad that God was all the way with me. I'm glad that I've made a difference in that department itself. I think I kinda shined for God because I get remarks like, "Our working life no life one... we should be like Terence, go to a church. Look at him, got church, so busy, got work, but still he's so full of life", "We are definitely gonna miss you, you are the most efficient Tier 1". It's not that I'm boasting, seriously, to me, it's just the way I am wired I guess...

I just felt like, all this, everything that I did for ExxonMobil, it felt satisfying, maybe because middle of my internship, I started to change my perspective, in doing everything, as though I'm doing for God, therefore I must gave my best, coz He gave His best, His only Son, to be the sacrificial lamb, and by His Son's blood, we are all made free from our sins. Maybe because of this reason, I choose to do everything, just like doing for Him la. :)

What touched me is they gave me uber cool gadjet. Will post the pics someday la, now lazy la :P

Anyway, going to dreamland soon. Woooo. I'll surely miss Enterprise Storage - Backup East team.

God bless.

God is... so tasty!

2008-11-15T23:07:00.003+08:00

Haha, was thinking of what to write... I just felt that once you've tasted the goodness of God, you will not turn back to the world. This is what I'm going through for the past few weeks. Very strongly the puzzles of my life is becoming a piece of portrait...

There are alot of questions in my mind and God is beginning to answer them one by one. And it's kinda scary la... hahaha

Don't really know how to put it into words la... seriously... Just one sentence to sum it all la: God is faithful, merciful and graceful. :)

Setting up a goal...

2008-11-10T17:58:00.001+08:00

I want to be a worship leader! (got this thought when I was bathing, 10 minutes ago).

Shalom.

God breaks us, in order to shape us.

2008-11-10T10:57:00.002+08:00

Was reading some articles (Anchors In The Storm by Joe Stowell, Discovery Series) and there was this part that I find quite profound la...

"If you ever get really disappointed or discouraged, read the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. Betrayed by the people closest to him, his own family, he was sold into Egypt as a slave. Rising to a place of influence in Potiphar's house, Joseph daily faced Potiphar's wife's efforts to seduce him.

The Egyptians prided themselves on having beautiful, sensual wives. Potiphar, being one of the leading bureaucrats in the land, no doubt had a wife who was rather spctacular. He was off on business much of the time, so she was probably lonely. Joseph, who was young and strong, was running the household every day. One day, she grabs him, and he runs. God looks down on Joseph and says, "Joseph, nice going. You're My kind of man!" Bt he gets 3 years in the slammer. For 3 years, nobody remembers him. (In those years God may have been extracting the arrogance from his life.)"

When I was reading this part, I paused and kinda reflected on my life. Somehow I felt that this speaks much to me, I believe some of you also. Sometimes, we felt that we know everything and we have everything in control (especially when things are going smooth), then something happened that struck us down, and when we call out to God, there's no answer, not even a sign. What should we do then? What I normally would do is to reflect back on the things that has happened, identify the areas that I'm weak, and response to God in prayer that I'm weak and I have been arrogant. I realise that I know nothing, even when I think that I know everything. I would ask God to teach me, how to be humble and in everything I do, I should refer to Him first, and not men, not the people around me.

Sometimes God allows problems and circumstances to happen in our life in order to break us and to mold us. Maybe you have problems with your best friend, your boyfriend/girlfriend, your parents, your lecturers, maybe you have just broke up, did something terrible, etc... Know that all these things happen for a reason and that God allowed it to happen, in order to break you, mold you and to shape your character, to be who He wants you to be.

You might think that you are not able to go through it but let me tell you that you are able, because it is written in 1 Corinthians 10:13 - "And God is faithful; He willl not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear." - and also 2 Corinthians 12:9 - "But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - So, hang in there, and know that whatever circumstances that you're in, God will be able to deliver you. Nothing is too hard for God (Gen 18:14 - Is anything too hard for the Lord?).

So hang in there. After God breaks Joseph, what did God did? Read on...

"Then, in His time, God delivers Joseph and elevates him to the second highest position in the empire."

Be blessed. :)

FSCC

2008-11-09T09:03:00.002+08:00

Just in case you guys are wondering what the heck is this FSCC that terence is talking about... lemme just briefly tell you guys:

My Pastor in TSF (FGA KL) got a vision few years back. In that vision, God told him to plant a church in Serdang area, to reach out to students from UPM, Uniten, MMU, UKM and etc. He prayed and through the years, God has provided and really confirmed it. So, my Pastor asked the permission of the church to release him and at first, the church elders was not so happy about it la, because he's the kind of Pastor that you can share everything and he is DEFINITELY not afraid to correct you on the spot (I kena before, sakit... but seriously must thank God for it :D).

So around 2 years back, the church has given him the green light already, released him to go to Serdang and plant a church. Up until this year, around August/September, he announced it during the youth meetings, and man... I was shocked...

Before this, I was thinking of going to a "smaller" church, to serve and be a blessing there already, because I felt FGA KL is too big for me. Imagine coming to church every week and when you try to smile and say hi to them, they don't smile back... Maybe because I'm the sensitive type of guy, if let's say you don't smile back to me and just walk away, I will automatically assume that you are not interested in becoming terence's friend. So... haha :P

And so, I was praying lor... I felt that it's time for me to move on... seriously was planning on what to tell my leader d... See see, pastor announced about a new church in SERDANG area (dahla smaller, + it's near my house! Wooo!). God sure knows how to give me a surprise, haha. And so, this coming January, will be officially going to FSCC already.

FSCC = FGA Serdang Community Centre.

Wanna know more about FSCC? Ask me face to face :D. By the way, you guys are invited ya. The service will be on Sunday, 10am until 11.30am, 12pm max. After that can go makan chi pau kai summore. :D:D:D The location of the church is just opposite KTM Serdang. Convenient right? Come and join us ya!

Okies, gotta go berus gigi and makan breakfast d. Later going to test the acoustic amp. Woot! Take care peeps!

Kena kutuk...

2008-11-08T23:06:00.003+08:00

Was playing the acoustic today and kena kutuk by David Leong and Davin Tan. Both say I play like kayu... haram... I'm not performing la dude, it's my way of worship ma... berani kutuk aku... cis...

Anyway, am glad that Davin wanted to join us (FSCC, woohoo!) and wants to serve there. Woo! Super excited as I'm going to FSCC soon, and Lake wanted to get a Yamaha guitar, woo! Hidup Yammies!

The worship was great. My fingers are swelling now... Hohoho. Time for me to hit the sack d... Woke up at 7.40AM today, sampai sekarang tak tidur-tidur lagi...

Sending a loud BIRTHDAY WISH to my buddy Jagad, Khye Tee, Nasrul (exxon colleague) and Kitha! God bless you guys!

Shalom.

A Poem by Russell Kelfer

2008-11-06T20:50:00.003+08:00

You are who you are for a reason.

You're part of an intricate plan.

You're a precious and perfect unique design,

Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.

Our God made no mistake.

He knit you together within the womb,

You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,

And no matter how you may feel,

They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,

And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy,

And God wept that it hurt you so;

But it was allowed to shape your heart

So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,

You've been formed by the Master's rod.

You are who you are, beloved,

Because there is a God!

Was thinking about how significant each and every one of us is, in God's eyes. No matter how you feel about yourself, no matter how the world treats you, know that there is a God that loves and cares for you. :)

Indescribable...

2008-11-05T20:51:00.003+08:00

Hmm, what to write ahr... Haha, sorry beb, not sure what to write here. Was practising guitar just now and playing Indescribable by Chris Tomlin, somehow I felt God is just... well... indescribable! There are alot of things happening around me (eg: friends breaking up, friends getting along together, having fun in the office, thinking of what to expect in FSCC, riding my bike to and fro from work amidst of HEAVY rain) and right now I was thinking, if there's a word to describe God, what word would I use... Hmm, I guess I'll use - indescribable! :D

I had a dream a few days back, dreaming of this girl that I know in my uni CF. In that dream, both of us look at each other and ask the same question: Is this pak tor? (literally: Are we hooking up?). Just then, my mum woke me up because it's 6.15am (apparently, my hp's alarm wasn't loud enough to wake me up). What I did was, I prayed and biarkan la, see what happens lor... Manatau... I had a second part of the dream 2 days later. I dream of another girl (let's call her A), from PERKEB also, drag me to see her parents. Her hand was clinging to my arm and brought me to her family dinner. Her family members asked me who am I. At that particular point, I felt so disgusted + felt so bad because in my head, I was thinking, "Eh, I thought I've already attached to B?), and you know what I did? I took A's hand off, and I pat her shoulder, looking at her family members, I say, "We are just very good friends.". Of course, A looked sad... So I told her, "I don't think so I belong here, guess I'll just make a move".

Told Rachel about it and she was asking me whether this is a sign from God. To be true to you guys, I'm really not sure. I kinda like told B to pray about it but I guess she's angry at me... Hahaha, nvm la, later I messaged B and told her to forget about it and after that, I submit those dreams to God d. Only God knows la what's the meaning of it (unless someone can interpret for me la :P).

Anyway, I felt that it's time for me to move on and to stay focus in whatever I'm doing (PERKEB, FSCC, my life). What I'm doing right now is simple, I can sum it up in 3 words > Wait on God.

=)

PS: 2 more weeks for my internship. Just 2 more... Project dah habis. Woohoo! Time to go back to my Yammie. Take care peeps!

Updates!!!

2008-09-09T18:52:00.002+08:00

Holla, it's me again! Just some updates so that you know what I'm going through and how am I currently:

1. I sensed that God is telling me it's a season of change for me... maybe in what I'm doing, the place I'll be going... it can be anything... Somehow... confirmation also got d... (different days, and heard the same message over-and-over again > This is a season of change... from 3 different people, 3 different church...) Pray with me and we'll see. I believe it's a good change! =D

2. I've bought an acoustic guitar with a pickup (finally), after forking out a huge sum of money for the beauty... Heee~ BTW, it's a Yamaha CPX700, black colour... I'll just call it a Yammie la :D

3. FGC was great. It was totally an eye opener, in a sense that I personally get to know more about Islam and it kinda triggered me to google more info regarding Islam. I have lots of M friends and sometimes I do feel for them, their concerns... Hmm... And we have lots of fun in the camp, the games session (it's amusing to see girls washing their long hair as a punishment :P), the drama (cil cil & ya ya... dunno who came out with the idea... they really deserve the no.1), and get to know lots of juniors!

4. Somehow, something is happening to me... My spirit leaps with JOY if I may use that word when I see a certain someone... dang... I need some rest...

Weeks of internship left: 10... and I haven't really start my project yet... -.-"

268

2008-08-04T23:20:00.003+08:00

At last, I saw Chris Tomlin! Not only that... Louie Giglio also! and not forgetting... Charlie Hall! Haha, sorry ya, just too exciting bout them already =P

Last nite, went to Passion World Tour '08 and they happen to stop by Kuala Lumpur this year. At first, I wasn't feel like going but indeed... I have no regrets going. The message was good (it's like hammering nails into your own heart), God's presense is definitely there (goosebumps from head to toe during d worship) and great music.

It was like > I'm dreaming coz i'm looking at Chris Tomlin playing the acoustic and some electric, and he's just like right in front of me... goodness... He's the one that kinda like... made me determined to take up guitar and practise and prayerfully one day will be like him, writing and singing songs for God's glory. Nonetheless, God has different plans for different people and I believe mine will be something awesome coz God did not plan my life just to be an average Joe. =)

Kinda more motivated to practise guitar and you know what? If I can use this talent to just even bless someone throughout the course of my life and to be able to make people see God's glory in me, not my own glory, I can die a happy man =)

Determination: To life a life making Jesus' name famous! =)

Countdown: 15 weeks left for Internship.

Internship

2008-07-13T22:59:00.003+08:00

That's right, this is what I'm doing right now, this whole semester of my final year: INTERNSHIP!

I've started my internship in ExxonMobil Business Support Centre Malaysia Sdn Bhd and if I can describe the whole company with just one word, I'd say: AWESOME!

One thing la, it's a big company ma, so... I'm kinda like > wow, this is cool. wow, that is great. wah, i like the policy here. what? can wear like that one ahr? Never have I thought that there somethings (attire, snacks, listening to music) that we can FREELY do and there are somethings (internet access, telephone calls, emails) that are being heavily monitored.

Learned quite a lot even in the first week, and somehow, maybe because i'm new in this, actually i'm anticipating to go to work everyday (maybe because in my subconsciouness, i'm trying to enjoy what i'm doing la), coz no point sulking and complaining ma, just do whatever the company throws at me lor. Hehe

Just feel like updating my blog saja, hohoho. That's all la, gotta go sleep d (waking up 6.15am everyday and sleeping at 11pm everynite... i dunno how come some people still got time for clubbing and paktor and watch muvees in d cinema... -.-").

Countdown: 19 weeks to go.

Just some time off...

2008-06-25T21:16:00.003+08:00

Having a little break right now. Been on a marathon of computer ethics' notes for 4 hours, and still going strong... haha. It's really brain-draining, reading all of the ethics. Thank God the paper is an objective paper. Weee...

Anyway, just an update again. This week is the busiest week of my life so far. Rushing for my group thesis (in which am not able to finish anyway) in the midst of finals for 3rd sem. Never have thought that 3rd sem is over, so freaking fast... In 2 weeks time, I'll step into the working world. Gonna work like working for God and not for humans, haha, and pray also, coz I wanna get a contract with the company before my industrial training ends.

Anyway, I just felt pressured lately, maybe because I have lotz of things to do and seriously, I totally realise that males are goal-based human beings. It's like, no time for emo-emo stuff, it's serious and it's-time-to-finish-what-I-have-started kinda thing. I am easily irritated even with my own classmates who wanted to ask me questions regarding the exams. Hohoho, but thank God all these is coming to an end coz tomorrow is my final paper and this Friday is the group thesis presentation.

After that, I'm off to uni to disturb new intakes, hahaha :P Btw, for those people who like guitars especially if you like an electric guitar that combines with an acoustic, try going to youtube and search for "Les Paul Ultra 2". =)

Till then, God bless.

Untitled

2008-06-18T12:36:00.002+08:00

Been thinking alot of my life lately, somehow I felt that I'm falling down, way down, into a place of unknown, a place where I heard of but I've never dreamt of going there. A situation where I never thought I will be in...

The feeling of disappointment, the feeling of guilt, the feeling of not being able to be true to myself and the people around me, the feeling of trying to hide myself from the world. I believe everyone in this world, would have been into a place or a situation where things get out of control and we let feelings and emotions cover our faith, cover what we believe in, the morals that we hold on to...

I don't even understand what I am posting right now, lately I'm in a situation of loss of words, nothing much to say, say also you all cannot help me, say also you all don't understand, hmm, I bet only God knows what I'm going through right now...

To all the friends that I know, I hope all of you will continue to be strong in the Lord and know that He understands and He knows what we're going through even if there is nothing coming in, as in, a sign, a Word, an answer. Never put your trust and faith in humans but trust the One and only Creator that has created you. Whatever situation that you're in, always believe that no human rules can overcome God. He is in control of everything, yesterday, today, and in the future.

I find myself lately that when I'm concentrating working, I can't seem to sms much, haha, reply people's messages la, it's hard to focus... And by the way, I think most of you who know me tend to know that I'm a person that likes to talk about having a partner and all, well, guess what? I've given up on that and let God reign over my life coz I realise that... I am definitely not ready for a relationship, not ready for a commitment coz I have so many things that I haven't done yet, such as - achieving financial stability, achieving spiritual stabililty (consistent in my walk with God), achieving and sharpening my guitar skills, travel around the world alone. =)

Well, I guess I kinda starting to realise and enjoy how nice it is to be single and wait. =)

Maybe all I need is just a lil bit of time off from every pressure that is attacking me, huhuhu.

Till then, signing off.

At last!

2008-05-18T00:21:00.003+08:00

At last, Joe asked me to play today, acoustic, in Young Adults' Worship Service. Woot! =)

Praise God, hehehe. =)))

Never thought... LOL

2008-05-17T00:11:00.003+08:00

Hehe, decided to name this post as "Never thought... LOL" coz memang tak pernah did this. Hehe, I was bored the whole day so, at first thought of main-main and take some ss pics of my guitar, see see I mengacau with macro close-up (all these while i tot for plants only, coz d picture is a flower what) :P

Took some nice pics (according to my own judgment la) :P

This is one of it and actually it's in colour, I kinda black-&-white it and kacau some contrast. It's all done in photoshop cs3, hohoho.

What do you guys think?

Realisations

2008-05-12T19:59:00.002+08:00

I realise that I'm quite "loh-soh" at times, maybe because I want others to know what I really meant behind something that I've just blurted out or say (because I know sometimes, without proper translation, a sentence can sound harmful and not-so-friendly).

I realise too that sometimes when I sakit hati, people around me don't know (facial expression tidak menonjol kut), not that I'm asking that you guys will pity me but sometimes, when I sakit hati, I'll keep quiet and I'll just not react to jokes. I'll just keep quiet and I'll give you a smile. That's the best that I can do.

What I paling tak suka is people misunderstand me. That just hurts me la, somehow when I tried to explain, the other party just keep quiet or pretend tak dengar or will just smile and say > "yea right". Well, I don't wanna justify myself or what but can you guys just give me a few seconds to explain myself?

Life is not easy sometimes, with all these ups and downs and misunderstandings and miscommunication but what I believe is > someday you guys will know why I did what I did.

=)

Me Update

2008-05-06T22:01:00.002+08:00

Lotz of things happened ler. Where to start leh? Okay la, last saturday. Well, practice is on every Saturday, 2pm in FGA KL, Jalan Kuchai Lama (in case you don't know what practice and would like to know what is it, well, I went for the audition of worship team and I got in, guitarist), I thought it was just like normal, maybe because of the fact that I'm tired and all.

But something was different. Well, I took the step to walk towards Jun Win(I hope I spelled his name correctly), and asked him some stuff regarding electric guitar. Hmm, got some insight, somehow even just by sitting there and looking at him doing his thing. I can see that there's unity in the band, there's Holy Spirit's work there. Everyone gave their best and God made the blending of their music. Somehow, I was refreshed.

After that, the sermon today was talking bout discipleship, which somehow, quite interesting and struck me. I felt like > Hmm, I need to share with people about Christ. I'll start small and let God handle the rest. Pastor Daniel asked us to start praying and see changes, well, that is what I'm determined to do these 2 months and see the results! I believe God will not let my prayer go in vain. =)

Then I chaired that night's TSF meeting coz most of the leaders went for the Alpha course training. We watched a DVD entitled "Indescribable" by Louie Giglio. He talked about "You put the stars in the sky and You know them by name". Nice topic la, regarding the galaxies and all, really felt like singing "I am a Friend of God"'s first line, "Who am I that You are mindful of me?".

Oh ya, before that saturday, on 2nd May, I received a call from Willowglen, asking me to go for their interview as a trainee. The interview was scheduled for today and thank God, I got the job! Hehehe. During the interview, I have to fill in the personality test and they found out (I found out too) that I'm more of an introvert.

See technical problems as CHALLENGES.
See human problems as REAL PROBLEMS.

LOL, quite true. Sometimes actually I would prefer to fix a computer than to fix a relationship. Haha, don't ask me why. I pray that I'll change. I'm willing, so help me God!

Enough is enough?

2008-04-30T00:29:00.003+08:00

To be frank with my own self, I am these few days trying to ignore the fact that God is in control of everything. I've tried to go against Him (trust me, you don't want to), believing that whatever we do is a choice and that God has given us that authority to make our own decisions but throughout these course of around 1 week +, I realise that... if God says NO, the end result will be NO (surprise!).

Ok la, enough of me fighting already. Time to go back to God's path, to God's way, to God's timing. =)

-I know Who I am-

I am forgiven,

I am Your friend,

I am accepted,

I know who I am.

I am secured,

I'm confident,

that I am loved,

I know who I am.

I am alive,

I am set free,

I belong to You,

and You belong to me.

How would you react?

2008-04-23T00:48:00.003+08:00

Shoutout to King Wai : Wah, no need to shoot me female gua? I'm just busy, that's all =)

The reason of this post: Just want to do a survey, guys / girls yea?

What would you do, or react, if the person that you like, but not yet your gf/bf, says to some other person (either their ex, or someone that likes them, or someone that they like):

Love ya, Miss ya!

Guys & Girls: What is your point of view? What do you think he / she means? If you say this to a girl, what do you really mean? Just a friend-friend thingy or you still long to be with that person or you memang still like that person?

I need feedbacks! =)

Update after so so long... :P

2008-03-31T15:19:00.002+08:00

Hey guys, thanks to some of you who asks how come I didn't update my blog. Well, it's being a hell of months if I could say, so many things happened in my life. Just a quick list on what has happened:

1. MKes 07/08
2. Easter performance in church
3. Got into the worship team in church
4. So call on/off in a relationship
5. Cousin brother passed away in a freak accident
6. My brother fell down from the motorcycle, fractured his left wrist
7. Spiritually down and started to question God a lot
8. A lot of things has happened that made me look at this world in a different perspective
9. Projects and assignments, non-stop, week after week

There you have it, that's why I couldn't update my blog peeps =)

Well, just fell like pouring out my heart today in this faithful blog, haha, at least I can blog down what is in my heart right now.

Been thinking bout my relationship with a girl lately, memang full of ups and downs and I realise that, everytime when both of us are near to become a couple, something will happen. I believe it's from God la. Something will just happened either to me or her. Let me give you this scenario:

Imagine you are running a race on a race track, and suddenly, you reach a high wall. Rather than jumping/climbing over the wall, we end up banging into the wall, and then stand up again, and bang again. It has been proven and memang a few times it happened, mainly > Going to be a couple, something happened. Going to be a couple again, something happened.

So far, I can only come up with two solutions:
1. This person is not the one that God wants me to be with (He prepares but it's up to our freewill to choose, right? But God knows what's best for me and for her.)
2. It is not the time yet (if it's from God, it will work and in the mean time, God is molding the both of us).

But somehow, from what I see, from the things and all and my own experience (I'm a human, we shouldn't believe in our own experience but trust in God), my guess is God's answer is choice number 1. Somehow I don't know, maybe I'm denying it myself because if God were to ask me, I will definitely choose choice number 2, wait first.

I don't know la... sigh, bottomline - it's a sad story la. Well, life must go on and we can choose whether to live life sadly or live life happily. I choose the latter.

God bless. =)

Your grace is enough.

2008-01-19T08:58:00.000+08:00

A song that pops into my mind early this morning, credits to Chris Tomlin and his team of people who worked on this marvellous song:

Great is Your faithfulness oh God
You wrestle with the sinner's heart
You lead us by still waters and to mercy
And nothing can keep us apart

So remember Your people
Remember Your children
Remember Your promise
Oh God

Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough
Your grace is enough for me

Great is Your love and justice God
You use the weak to lead the strong
You lead us in the song of Your salvation
And all Your people sing along

Your Grace is enough
Heaven reaching down to us
Your Grace is enough for me
God, I see Your grace is enough
I'm covered In your love
Your grace is enough for me
For me

PS: I realise that when I'm down, I post a lot :P

Current mood: Ready for the day. =D

Blue: The human side of me.

2008-01-18T18:42:00.000+08:00

Everything seems to be hanging at the moment, time, space, every single thing that you can imagine.

Once you take the wrong step/say the wrong thing/do the wrong thing, you're dead. The feeling is unbearable, feeling of whether what you've just done hurt the opposite party, whether what you've just done disturb/affect the opposite party physically, mentally or spiritually.

Sigh, life is hard. And I think I suck at it at the moment. By the way, I always say that I have passion in BGR, sometimes I realise that I don't do what I preach.

See? I do suck in life at the moment. Feeling blue. Sigh.

Current mood is: Desperate for answers, complaint to God, waiting for Him to answer...

Everytime...

2008-01-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

Hmm, sometimes, maybe because I'm just a human being, haha, I tend to think a lot of "what if"-s. What if this? What if that? LOL, and at the end of the day, I realise that all those "what if"-s don't really matter coz God is in control of every situation in my life, whether I like it or not. Sometimes I don't really like it, I really wanna do this / that my way, but I do know that God has His own way and sometime things just don't go our way because God wanna prevent us from a bigger disaster.

See how much God loves you? =)

God bless.

It's off!

2008-01-08T12:49:00.000+08:00

My earrings are off, officially. =)

Shallom.

Convictions...

2008-01-06T23:15:00.000+08:00

First of all, I was reading a book by John Bevere entitled "Drawing Near" during the holidays and the book gives me a practical look at how to draw near to God, how to listen to Him, a lot la... So, I was reading and came a part that talks about listening to God...

He speaks to us and all we have to do is to listen, to be still and silent and be sensitive to God, focus... He speaks to us non-stop, through the Bible, audible voice, your inner voice, convictions of your heart. And I truly believe it... coz God spoke to me, He gave me 2 convictions... (PS: We should believe first, then we shall see. But human beings tend to see first, then only believe. Check the Bible, the people in the Bible often believe first, then they see God's spirit in action, I'm still learning to do this... Hehe).

Okay. 1st conviction: I was bathing(I always get lotz of stuff in the bathroom... LOL), and thinking a lot of stuff, my future, this and that, when I come to think of this particular girl (Miss A), I hear a voice that says:

Voice > ARE YOU SURE THAT SHE IS THE ONE THAT GOD HAS PREPARED FOR YOU?
Me > I don't know... I'm not sure...
Voice > GOOD.

Suddenly I felt this fear in me, the fear of taking the wrong step, the fear of making choices / making decisions out of my own selfish nature, as in, I WANT IT SO BAD I DON'T CARE, GOD, YOU MUST GIVE ME. I fear that... So, that was my first conviction lor... (I managed to tell Miss A about it and thank God she understands =))

Second conviction: I was sitting on my bed, reading the Bible and praying la. Suddenly there's a voice again and I feel bad:

Voice > WHAT KIND OF TESTIMONY ARE YOU SHOWING? YOU SAY YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN BUT YET YOU WEAR EARRINGS, 2 SUMMORE!

I terus feel bad after that... And don't know, somehow, got convicted of taking my earrings off already. I somehow feel that it symbolizes me of getting serious with God and no play play d la (somehow letak earring like play play saja, I'm a guy ma), so friends, I'm taking it off already, and don't ask me why. If you ask, I'll refer you to my blog address (which is this one, muahahaha).

Shallom. =)

New Year, New Everything!

2008-01-02T11:13:00.001+08:00

Thanks to ANNA TEOH for reminding me to update my blog :P and also thanks to all those who mentioned that I need to update my blog, so here it is! An update! :P

Well, just wanna take this opportunity to wish all you peeps out there a very Blessed New Year. Just like what the topic says, I pray that this is what is going to happen to me, a new year, new everything (spiritually, mentally, physically).

This New Year, you might see some changes in me, regarding my opinions on what I've posted back in 2007. Gain some new insights after talking with some of my church leaders, questioning them, seeking God in prayer, reading His words, gain some new conviction from the Spirit, adui, lotz of things happened during the hols... Kinda scared but at the same time excited about it also, what's gonna happen to me in 2008? I wonder...

I'll update more on this ya, stay tuned!

God bless.

An email forwarded by a friend of mine...

2007-12-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

You might not like what you're going to read but this is very very true. Please take some time to read this and let it sink into your heart and your brain. =) Be blessed! =D

PRECAUTION IS BETTER THAN CURE!!!
Please pass this around to teens & young adults….
At first glance, it may seem that this unnecessary - that anyone who loves God could not possibly consider spending their whole life married to someone who doesn't! This, unfortunately, is not the case. I receive letters daily from women who are desperately trying to serve God in a full and complete way, but are unable to do so because their husband loves and serves the world. I am addressing this article to Christian women in particular, because in my counseling experience, they seem to make this mistake much more, frequently than men do. However, the problems and the principles I will be talking about can obviously be applied to any Christian thinking of marrying (or for that matter even dating ) someone who doesn't love Jesus with all of their heart. (This article is for single Christians who still have the "dating" and marriage question ahead of them.)

Missionary Dating
I'm not exactly sure who came up with the term "missionary dating," but I love it because it so appropriately paints the picture. Imagine this - a young girl, full of zeal for God, goes to a remote tribe of natives somewhere to evangelize the lost. She ends up having a special burden for the chief's handsome young son. He seems interested in God, and so she starts spending quite a bit of time with him in hopes of winning him to the Lord. Then, before you know it, her friends at the Missionary Society receive a postcard saying that she is getting married and won't be coming back. Was he converted? Well, not really - but she has full confidence that he will be shortly. Meanwhile, she's happily getting ready to set up housekeeping in his hut full of idols (which, of course, she wouldn't think of worshipping), and dreaming of the wonderful future they will have together. If you heard of a situation like this, what would you think about this girl's chances for real happiness - or her professed love for the Lord? Her actions certainly seem to contradict the very things she says she believes in.

I think it's safe to say that every marriage starts out with a simple date. Many Christians are deceived when it comes to this. They feel all right about dating an unbeliever, just as long as it doesn't "get too serious." They may think, "Well, one or two dates can't hurt any one. Besides, maybe I can lead him to the Lord. I just want to have some fun right now, but when it comes to settling down, I will definitely marry a Christian." Then lo and behold, the next thing they know they have "fallen in love," and are desperately trying to rationalize their relationship and their upcoming marriage - to themselves, to their friends, and to God. I say this: Any Christian foolish enough to date an unbeliever is foolish enough to marry one!

Important Decisions
Marriage is the biggest and most important decision you will make after your decision to follow Jesus. And as I said before, all marriages start out with a "first date." One of the main problems is that too many Christians approach the idea of dating with far too casual an attitude. They have adopted the world's view on this, instead of God's. There is no such thing as "playing the field" when it comes to Christianity.

Sure it gets lonesome sometimes, but remember, every date has the potential of becoming a lifelong relationship. Spending time with the wrong person is opening yourself up to becoming emotionally involved to a point where it is not always so easy to turn and walk away. Once you have given your heart and your emotions to someone, you will be surprised at how difficult it is to have the desire to take them back - even if you know you should. Here is part of a typical letter I have recently received from a young Christian girl. She has already been counseled and encouraged to do the right thing, but I wanted to share her predicament with you:

"I'm 16 and the daughter of missionaries here in the Middle East. I've had a really close walk with the Lord, and He has been good to me in so many ways. But I met a guy at school. He's not a Christian, and we've been going out for over three months. At the time, I believed it was fine, unless we married, which of course I have no intention of doing because he isn't a Christian. But lately I've spoken with someone who told me it was wrong, and that I should never have gone out with him in the beginning.

"This evening he came over while I was listening to the new tape of Keith's. Afterwards we were talking, and he laughed at all the 'weird Jesus, and dumb Christian songs' that I listen to. I let him know I was hurt by the way he laughed about the name of Jesus, and now I really feel bad inside because of it, and I feel we should end our relationship. But it's very hard because we really like each other a lot, and I'm afraid my witness will all go down the drain if we break up. I'm really asking the Lord for wisdom now. If you have a few spare minutes you could remember me in prayer." - Kept Anonymous

Don't wait until it's too late. The time to ask Jesus for wisdom is before you start a relationship - not after. It is much easier than you think for your heart to overrule your conscience. Once your own desires are demanding priority, your zeal to put God first starts to quickly fade away. Your emotions are a powerful thing, and if you don't control them, they will control you! (Jer. 17:9)

Unequally Yoked
"Do not be bound together with unbelievers " (II Corinthians 6:14)
In the Bible, Jesus (and here, Paul) gave many illustrations using agriculture and animals as examples, since these were common things to everyone in that day. So what does it mean to be unequally yoked? Picture if you will, two oxen tied together at the neck by a wooden crosspiece so they can pull a plow. They are two animals of the same species who have been joined together to do a specific job. They have been carefully trained to respond to the same commands, and once they are united, they are considered to be a team. A wise farmer picks two animals of similar size, strength, and temperament because he knows they will work the best together. If one of them needed to be whipped before he would move, and the other one was terrified at even the sight of a whip, it would seem unwise to tie them together and expect them to work as a team. One "teammate" would frantically try to run away, while the other one would stubbornly refuse to budge. In fact, if two like this were joined together, it seems that disaster might be at hand - with possible damage to the equipment, hurt and confusion to the "teammates", and of course, the work would never get done.

Our beloved Jesus is the wisest and most loving "Farmer" in all the universe. He knows that we would never be happy if we were bound to someone who was pulling us in the opposite direction from where we wanted to go. Our life would be one continual tug of war, and we would never be able to get on with the work that we were called to do. That is why He commanded us to marry "only in the Lord." (I Cor. 7:39) If we are going to serve God in our marriage, then both partners must be in agreement about the job that needs to get done, how it's going to be accomplished, and who they are going to be taking their orders from. It is really very simple. I guess that's why it constantly amazes me that so many choose to ignore God's wisdom, thinking in vain that "it will all work out fine in the end."

The Dating Game
I think it should be becoming increasingly clear to you that dating is not to be done lightly - nor without God's approval! This doesn't mean that you have to feel called to marriage with someone before you can spend any time together - but you must be able to see the qualities of a sincere lover of God in this person, and the fruit of their faith should be evident for all to see. If they pass this most crucial test, you still must seek God to see if it's all right to take the time to get to know this person better. You should seek the Lord privately on this - that is, not with the person you are interested in. That way, if God says "No," no one will be hurt. I am assuming you have already spent time with this person in group situations - but a deeper relationship should only be entered into if and when the Lord gives you His express permission. If you are afraid to hear a possible "No" from God, then you are not seeking His will, but your own. This should be an immediate danger signal that something is wrong, and you shouldn't make a move until you get your heart right with the Lord.

Does all that sound a little strict to you? Well, just ask someone who has chosen the wrong mate due to a lack of patience, counsel, and prayer. They will tell you that they wish someone would have told them the same things I am now telling you. So many are bound in miserable, unhappy marriages because they ignored Jesus and let their own desires drown out the voice of God. They have learned their lesson the hard way, and now it is too late for them to turn back and start over. Marriage is for a lifetime. Once a mistake is made, you can't turn around and say, "We got married out of God's will, so now we'll just get a divorce!" It doesn't work that way. The Bible tells us that if our unbelieving mates consent to remain with us, then we must not send them away. (I Cor. 7:12-13)

Why even put yourself in the position of possibly making the wrong decision? Since God's Word commands us not to be "unequally yoked," it is foolish and openly rebellious to even consider it. You will be headed towards almost certain disaster if you lean to your own understanding instead of trusting God and taking Him at His word.

Values, Goals, And Motivations
When I became a Christian, my whole life was turned upside - down. I could no longer deal with things in the same way that I had before, because God's way was different. Everything changed. I made an abrupt "about-face" and had to sit down and re-evaluate every aspect of my life. One of the first things I noticed was that my reasons for doing things had changed. I was motivated by a love for God and a desire to please Him, instead of my own selfish desires. As I drew closer to God, He revealed His heart to me, and I found that some of the things that had meant a lot to me were no longer important. And other things, on which I had put little or no value, began to sparkle and shine like jewels. My eyes looked towards eternity instead of focusing on the temporary things of this world. I truly think my heart would have been broken if I had not been able to share my excitement, joy, and love of God with my most beloved here on earth - my husband.

Lack Of True Intimacy
"...For what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness or what fellowship has light with darkness?" (II Cor. 6:14)

When it comes right down to it, someone who loves Jesus just doesn't have that much in common with someone who doesn't. Sure, you may enjoy the same hobbies, or be engaged in the same type of work - but when it comes to the things that really matter, you will be miles apart. In a marriage, when that first rush of excitement wears off, you will find yourself yearning for the true intimacy and oneness that can only be experienced with someone of "like mind." You will be unfulfilled and strangely lonesome in this closest of all partnerships if, due to different beliefs, you cannot experience true intimacy. Neither of you would be able to share the deepest longings of your heart with each other, because your whole basis of looking at life - your very reasons for living - would be totally different. Your hearts and lives could never be truly united because there would be no common bond to draw you together and keep you together.

When I speak of marriage, I am speaking of a lifelong commitment to love, honor, cherish, and obey - till death do you part! How could you even consider making such a deep and binding commitment to someone who doesn't love Jesus? As a Christian, you have the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit to govern your life. But the Bible tells us that those without Jesus have the world, the flesh, and the devil to direct theirs. These are the very things we as Christians are told to overcome. (I John 2:14-17) How can you hope to overcome that which you have married, committed, and submitted your life to?

Marry Now-Reform Later
Many Christian girls seem to be pacified by the fact that their unbelieving boyfriend doesn't seem to object to their Christianity. Even though he doesn't believe like she does, he seems extremely tolerant and even goes to church with her sometimes. He really is a very nice guy, and his biggest vice is drinking a few beers with the boys while watching football. She figures if she marries him, they will have a lot more time together, and then she can really "work on him" and get him saved. Sadly enough, she will find that it's not as easy as she thought it would be. Eventually, her husband's acceptance of her Bible Studies and Christian friends starts to wear thin, and the tension between them begins to take its toll on their marriage. Most girls don't realize that if they are not strong enough to resist the temptation of marrying an unbeliever, they probably aren't strong enough to ever win him to the Lord!

"Conversions" Of Convenience
Sometimes in order to marry a Christian girl, a fellow will "make a commitment" to Jesus because he knows he has to. He'll start going to church just to make her happy. In fact, he may even be sincerely trying to "get into it." But if it is not a decision arising from seeing his own need for God, then it is meaningless and will be short-lived. His "commitment" usually starts to fade some time after they get married - when it's no longer necessary for him to put his best foot forward.

I never trust a "conversion" of this type, and I consistently tell all those I counsel to let this fellow prove his commitment on his own. That is, to follow Jesus not by his girlfriend's side, but to get to church or Bible Study on his own steam, not on a date. If he proves to be sincere, growing, and firmly planted in Jesus, then after several months, she can start to pray and seek the Lord about the possibility of entering into a deeper relationship. The problem is, most girls don't have the patience to test the fruit. As soon as "Mr. Right" even looks like he's about to utter a sinner's prayer, she's off picking out towels, dishes, and bridesmaid dresses.

The Second Law Of Thermodynamics
In science, the Second Law of Thermodynamics essentially states that as time passes, anything that's left on its own will deteriorate. Things left on their own will not be built up, but they will eventually break down. In other words, as time goes by, things get worse, not better - and a life, left on its own without God, will get worse. You never know what's around the corner. People who have married "occasional drinkers" have later found themselves married to alcoholics a couple of years down the road. You can't judge the future by the present circumstances when you are dealing with someone who has chosen to go his own way in life. If you have the Lord, you should be able to expect growth and maturity. If you don't have the Lord, you won't know what to expect. This isn't the old "marijuana leads to heroin" story of a few years back - but sin does lead to more sin - and a life that is not willingly yielded to Jesus and guided by His loving hand could end up anywhere... doing anything!

Competition
I think one of the hardest aspects of a marriage where the partners are unequally yoked is the feeling of competition between them. However subtle or unspoken it may be, the competition is felt. As a believer, your values and ideals will constantly be challenged as you live out your day-to-day life. The unbeliever will always be trying to prove (consciously or unconsciously) that he is just as happy as you are, without having any so-called "religious experience"...and you will, of course, want to show him that actually you possess the greater peace and fulfillment through knowing God. You will have no spiritual leadership or support during times of trials, and your faith will be undermined, not encouraged. And eventually, as the competition grows stronger, your mate will probably get tired of competing with your friends, your church, and your God for your attention and your love.

Compromise
A believer, when put in this position, is many times tempted to compromise her faith in order to maintain a peaceful marriage. She can no longer serve the Lord in an open and free way because, if she does, her marriage may fall apart. What a terrible spot to be in! When you start to compromise, your walk with God becomes weak and undernourished. You will be guilty for your lack of obedience to God, which will tend to push you even further away from Him than you already are.

After awhile, frustration sets in for both of you because neither one is really free to do the things that make you happy. You don't have someone to love Jesus with, and he doesn't have someone to love the world with. He doesn't enjoy your friends and activities, and you don't really enjoy his. You are longing for someone to share your joy in Christ-and he is getting different types of longings. He may even start to think that if you won't go out and have his kind of fun, maybe he'll find someone else who will! As you can imagine, in a situation like this, the pressure really starts to build.

Because you are both being held back from the things you want to do, bitterness and resentment enter into the picture, putting an even bigger distance between the two of you and causing more problems. In many situations, once the resentment does set in, the unbelieving mate just may have learned enough Scripture from you to hurl it like tiny bullets of truth to pierce your heart. After all, the Bible is true. And even though he may not believe it, he knows that you do - and he may love to see you crumble under conviction, condemnation, or confusion from his attacks upon you and your faith. The Word of God is a powerful tool... even in the hands of the unrighteous.

You may think I have painted an unrealistic picture of the ruin of a marriage, but I have read hundreds of letters - all full of the "same story." It's almost impossible for a marriage like this to survive (and they usually don't) unless the believer compromises his or her faith almost to the point of having none. So it's not only the probable death of a marriage I am talking about, but a possible spiritual death as well. I believe that's why the Bible gives us such a strong warning against a union of this kind.

The Proper Balance
Usually, those who want to hang onto their "right" to continue on in the same way with their old friends and their old lifestyle say, "But, I'm not supposed to isolate myself and associate only with Christians!" Well of course you re not. We are the "salt of the earth," seasoning the world with the love of Jesus. (Matt. 5:13,16) The world and the people in it need Christians. How else will they ever find out about the only True Love that exists? But you mustn't ever forget that although we are in the world, we are never to be a part of it. We must always be careful to keep our eyes on the Lord and immediately flee any situation that may cause us to stumble and fall away from our heavenly calling. (II Tim. 2:22)

Too many Christians use the excuse of "winning their friends to the Lord" to keep one foot in the world, and so themselves remain partakers of worldly pleasures. God knows our hearts. If your friends or associates are causing your love for God to "cool off," it is far better to sacrifice that friendship, than to sacrifice your relationship with Jesus. No relationship on earth is more important than your relationship with your Father in heaven. If you are not strong enough to resist temptation, then admit it and stay away from it. Don't worry about "your witness." If you fall away after knowing and preaching the truth, your onIy witness will be a bad one anyway!

Children
One thing people don't usually think about when they first get married is having children. Usually it's the furthest thing from your mind as you're walking down the aisle. But somewhere down the line, you will probably want to start a family. But what is "a family"? Is it the mere presence of children that qualifies you as a family, or is it something else? A family unit as I see it consists of a group of people bound together by love, a sense of loyalty, and a sincere desire to see each other reach their fullest possible potential and purpose in God. Most traditionally, it consists of Mom, Dad, and some kids, although it can be larger or smaller according to circumstance or the leading of the Lord.

One thing for sure, where there is no unity, there can be no "family." Sure you can all live under one roof, but a common dwelling place does not a family make. In an unequally yoked marriage, there will only be confusion and chaos in the home. Without the common bond of love for Jesus, there can be no unity. If the parents do not agree on how to raise their children, the children will raise themselves. If the parents have different standards for their children in the areas of discipline, responsibility, and acceptable behavior and attitudes, then the children will play one parent against the other to get their own way - and the parents will end up arguing over the results. Of course, the children are the real losers in these battles, although they may not realize it at the time. A home like this will be in constant turmoil, and will be a very unhappy place for all who live there, parents and children alike.

If there is no agreement in the home about who God is, and what our response to Him should be, then it is very difficult for children to learn how to know and love Him. If our children are getting a different message from each parent, they will constantly be confused and forced to "take sides."

The greatest factor in our children learning about God is through the example we set for them. Children usually transfer their feelings and impressions of their earthly father over to their idea of who God is. If their father is a righteous man and exercises godly judgment balanced with love and encouragement, then their image and understanding of God will most likely be good. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21) If he is unfair in his judgments, or an agnostic or indifferent to God, then they will have a hard time (even as an adult) seeing God's true nature and character.

What an unfair burden to put on a tiny child. It will not only cost him his memories of a happy and peaceful childhood - but in the end, it may cost him his very soul. Let's not even think of putting ourselves, not to mention our innocent children, through such pain and unhappiness as to bring them up in a household of strife and confusion.

If you are thinking of marrying an unbeliever, do you have the unrealistic expectation of raising your children for God when you can't even submit something as important as your marriage to Him? I would say that the prospect is highly unlikely, at best.

Conclusion
Those Christians who enter into marriage with an unbeliever will never experience the fullness and richness of marriage as God intended it to be. They will never enjoy true intimacy or the blessing of a family united by the common bond of Jesus' love. In fact, instead of experiencing that common bond (or "bonding") of love, they will experience the "common bondage" of frustration and discontent that may lead to separation or divorce. For True Love is only possible when you know God, and when you can have His unselfish, uncompromising love for others, putting them above yourself. All else pales in comparison to the real thing. Don't be foolish. Don't settle for anything less than God's very best for you. If you are called to marriage, God has a perfect partner for you. But beware, the enemy is a matchmaker too.

Trust the Lord, walk in obedience, and He will meet your needs in His way and in His timing. Lean to your own understanding and insist on your own way and watch out - you just may get what you are looking for! You may also live to regret it. Trust God. He will never lead you astray.

In closing, I want to say that if you are now in a relationship with an unbeliever, or if you have been in the past (while professing to be a Christian), I think you'd better examine your heart before the Lord. If you can find peace and contentment in a relationship with someone who doesn't love God, then you must ask yourself how much you really love Him. After all, if you find you have more in common with those who walk in darkness... it may be because you are both walking down the same path! (I John 1:6-7; John 3:21)

Don't deceive yourself. A sincere lover of God would never knowingly be joined to a lover of the world. Don't even think about submitting your life in marriage to a godless partner - that is, unless it won't bother you to live a godless life. Please pray about all that we have talked about and be quick to respond to the things God has spoken to your heart. I love you very much, and I pray that you will reach the highest potential possible in Christ Jesus as you obey Him in all things. May God bless you as you seek Him.

Patricia Francis
Global I/T Finance
Dell Global Business Centre
Direct Line: 604-633 6395
Direct Fax: 604-633 9395

A question to think about...

2007-12-04T22:51:00.000+08:00

Was just pondering about this question lately. I've seen so many couples, in my church where the guy is an Indian and the girl is a Chinese, was just wondering whether it's the same or not if the guy is a Chinese and the girl is an Indian.

I'm not talking about races / being racism about this but my question is:

What will they be facing? What would their lives be? What about both sides' parents? Are they able to live in harmony? Will the guy fit into the girl's family? Will the girl fit into the guy's family?

I myself don't know the answer. This question is quite subjective.

To me, I just have this hope, that if it comes from God, it's gonna work. There will be obstacles along the way but I know that if God permits and it's from God, everything will fall into place.

Shallom.

Miri Trip

2007-11-25T22:57:00.000+08:00

21st November 2007:
Finished exam @ 2.00pm, last paper, then terus rush back to Serdang to pack, mandi and then rush back to Church which is in Kuchai Lama. Reached LCCT @ 5.30pm. Boarded the 7.00pm flight to Miri. Got a lil bit delayed, therefore reach there at 10.00pm and Pastor John Chee, Aunty Tracy (Pastor's wife) and Reuben picked us up from Miri Airport and terus go to Hai Ma Restaurant to savour my first "Mee Kolok". Hohoho. After that, went back to Pastor John's house and call it a day.

The team.

Reached Miri. Eating.

Mee Kolok

22nd November 2007:
Woke up at 7.00am, and had breakfast at a restaurant, ate Mee Kolok again for that morning and after that, went to SIB Canada Hill, to check out that place because tonight is the starting of the RELENTLESS 2007 Conference. Eugene, Mark and me are going to perform our first item for the night. We went to a shopping complex, and then makan their pizza at Pizza Haven (not bad, their toppings are more generous than Pizza Hut). Then the night came and that's the start of RELENTLESS 2007: RUNNING WITH FIRE. After the worship session, we had our first item performed. And then, Pastor Daniel spoke. We call it a night after that.

Siok sendiri di dalam van.

The sea. Check out the waves.

A view from SIB Canada Hill.

The girls.

Opening performance by CHC. Gaya.

Another opening scene.

Tak ingat what session is this...

23rd November 2007:
Wake up @ 6.00am in the morning, it looked like 7.00am actually, haha. Had a simple breakfast(roti canai), which was not bad, and then went to SIB Canada Hill for the 2nd day of the workshop. Then we stop around 1.00pm to have our lunch, which is nasi ayam. After that, sambung balik and around 4.00pm, we reach Pastor John's house for a quick shower and cabut back to Canada Hill Church (CHC) for the night consert. We didn't have any items to perform this night so it was quite relaxed.

The future generation.

The Leaders of tomorrow. =D

Forgot their nicknames ady, given by Eugene. Haha.

Stay tuned for more updates ya. =D

At last...

2007-11-21T08:59:00.000+08:00

Okay, having my last paper for this semester in 3 hours time, dunno what to expect, 2 and a half hours paper, I pray that I can finish by 1.30pm la... Hmm...

Kinda nervous coz I'm going to MIRI today! WOOHOO! Don't really know what to expect also, what people to meet, new friends that I'm going to make. =)

I do pray that God will use me as a blessing to them and use them to bless my life back. I know I'll never be the same again, not the same old TERENCE @ CHINGZ that you guys noe :P

Feeling kinda down actually since 2 days back, for what reason, that's personal. Maybe because I don't really know how to express myself in words, and doubt that even after I express it, the other party won't really care about me. Haha, why do I need other people to care bout me feelings? Especially her? Somehow just felt that, what I'm doing right now is not so right, as in, being the best of me for her, in everything... I should be the best for God and not for humans... Don't know la... complicated stuff. Only God knows. Let God keep this for me, I don't want to think about it, not denying but just wanna get some peace sahaja =)

Lawak betul... I should be thankful and grateful that God is so faithful to me, and I am thankful and grateful for that. =)

If in the future I found someone that is as faithful as God to me and someone that loves me unconditionally but still loves God more than she loves me, I am grateful, I am thankful, and I can give her everything that I have. Hmm...

If I didn't find one, then I'll become a Christian "sami" ady, haha, tak mau kahwin, serve God, and then tunggu mati :P

Shallom. =)

A Story...

2007-11-18T12:24:00.000+08:00

Let me tell you a story...

Alvin(not his real name) invited his ex, Cassie(not her real name either) to church a long time ago because Cassie hasn't been attending church for the past few months and Alvin thought that this is not healthy to her, as a brother in Christ that cares for her, he kept on urging her to come to church.

One day, Cassie decided to drop by, of course, Alvin was happy that she's coming and wanted to talk to her to catch up and see how is she coping right now. At the mean time, Brianna(not her real name), someone that Alvin is interested in at the current moment, went back to her hometown and doesn't know about this.

Suddenly, Alvin got a message from Brianna, telling him how she is back in her hometown. Alvin was excited to get a message from Brianna, as always, and decided to tell her in return what has happened that day to Brianna. Brianna was telling Alvin that she wasn't feeling quite well but that night, she was okay, as in, she felt better.

As Alvin was messaging Brianna, he told her about his ex, Cassie, came to church. He was excited to share this as he thought it won't do any harm because what's past is past as Alvin and Cassie, both know that they won't get back together anyway.

After that, Brianna told Alvin that she's resting early because she's not feeling well. She said goodbye and left Alvin wondering whether she's really not feeling well or she felt weird after what Alvin has shared with her. Alvin felt bad... really bad... and he doesn't understand why she was acting like that and why did he care so much about her feelings.

The next day, Alvin messaged Brianna and wanted to call her to talk about what has happened yesterday. Brianna asked Alvin not to call but both of them "balas" messages. He said sorry for telling Brianna about Cassie and if that really made Brianna felt not good, he won't tell her about Cassie again. Brianna assured Alvin that she wasn't and yesterday she had another migraine, therefore she's not feeling well and she thought that Alvin will understand. Alvin does not understand why the sudden downfall in the way Brianna messaged Alvin, therefore he felt that he was at fault and he was kind of disappointed with the way Brianna acted and fed up with the way she reacted.

Brianna said she was disappointed at Alvin because she thought that Alvin would understand. Brianna said sorry if the way she messaged Alvin has changed. She said that she was at fault but Alvin told Brianna sorry for causing her to feel bad. She replied Alvin by saying sorry and she has nothing to say about it. Alvin was left hanging again.

Questions to ponder:
1. Why did Alvin told Brianna about Cassie? Is it to make her jealous or just want to share with her that Cassie came to church?
2. Is it wrong that Alvin has told Brianna about Cassie?
3. What is going through Alvin? What makes him care so much about Brianna?
4. Who's at fault? Brianna or Alvin?

Nah, try to answer those questions and see, haha, HOC MUN, I know you sure got lotz of stuff to share one. :P

Shallom.

'Til next semester...

2007-11-16T11:31:00.000+08:00

Ooo, what a solemn day yesterday was, not sure what has happened among my friends / among the people that I care for. Felt this overwhelming grief in my spirit that I don't even know why... Just prayed and then after that went to sleep ady, was really feeling not-so-well over it...

Someone scrape / cut her thumb / palm. Tu lah, mau "ACTION" lagi, muahaha, Tuhan memang adil :P Memang akan rindu pada setiap orang yang saya tidak akan jumpa lagi untuk semester ini, or at least until the end of this year, friends from PERKEB, friends from Taiping, a friend from abroad, gonna miss you guys / girls a lot...

I'm not sure what I'm going to go through this holiday, but I know God is going through it with me as well, muahahaha, thank You, Jesus!

Okay, signing off now. 2 more papers to GO, which is SADM + JAVA. God, You must help me this time... and I'm serious... :(

Shallom.

Back...

2007-11-13T17:04:00.000+08:00

Back to my old self again. Finished another paper yesterday, HCI, no more!!! Woohoo! Met with her for lunch today as I went to UNI to pass up an assignment, thank God for the fellowship, dunno why... but yet again... something that I don't really like to hear... "you deserve someone better than me", memang sakit la, just pray that one day you guys/girls will see that actually TERENCE is just another human being, have weaknesses and strenght and actually, we are all just the same =)

Ok, thank God for electricity. Was stuck dunno what to do for 2 hours... minus 1 hour of slept, haha, now wanna study ady lo, tomorrow ada satu paper, Neural Nets. God bless me. Haha.

Too early to say whether I've actually fallen for her or not also, sometimes it's because of emotions ba, kena lihat whether both can work together or not (in terms of working for God, as in, in PERKEB / Church), then see whether the results is going to be like TWICEFOLD or whether I work alone / she work alone can achieve better results... Don't really know how to put this into words, haha, Tuhan saja yang tahu. Serahkan kepada Tuhan saja. =)

Shoutout to all my friends and people that I care for >>> Have a save journey back to your hometown guys, may it be Sabah, Sarawak, anywhere in Malaysia.

Question: How to let someone know that we really care for them through our hearts and there's not a certain motive in getting close to someone, as in, towards girls? Because I find that sometimes, memang susah oh... later fall for that girl ady, pula ask me not to fall for them and all, natural right to fall for someone at this age, dahla single... anyway, just don't care about what I write here la, hanya mau dengar opinion saja.

Learnt something new > When you're tempted to do something, or memang kena attack when you think too much, stop and say > No, I won't let you(refering to S.A.Tan) kacau me, balik la you, si bodoh! In Jesus name, GO AWAY! shoo! < and after that, give thanks to God. Somehow it works. Haha, happened to me when I was listening to LITE FM, memang la, all the love songs, and then I terasa, I know I cannot do that, that's why terus stop and shouted in the car, I terus off the radio, and it worked! haha, =)

Signing out!

Shallom.

A lil something to share...

2007-11-12T08:30:00.000+08:00

Please bear with me if I posted too much on BGR these few days ya =)

From "The Collegian: Christianity and Dating: Laying the Foundations of Biblical Romance and Marriage"

"One important problem of recreational dating is that it often mistakes a physical relationship for love. Is true love the desire to fulfill our emotional and physical wants through another person? No, love places the interests of others ahead of our own. Love sacrifices, serves, and gives without expectation of return. Can a man say he loves a woman, while he reserves the right to abandon her at any moment for the next prettier face? This degrades the value of women and shames the honor of men. Woman is the apex of God’s creation: when man was not good enough alone, the Lord produced a woman to complete His work. A true man ought to honor woman as the weaker vessel and not take advantage of her. If a man is to act nobly, he must guard the honor and purity of women, protecting them from all that threatens their security. A man must even protect women from himself; a woman at no time should feel uncomfortable in his presence, but on the contrary, safe and honored. As Romans 13:10 says, “Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.” Far from the world’s shallow brand of “love” which breaks the law of God and destroys the moral standard, true love fulfills and upholds Biblical law. “For you were called to freedom, brethren; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13).
Probably the biggest danger of the modern dating method is that it leads to intimacy without commitment. Intimate romance is a good thing, and God even commands it; but, as Joshua Harris states in I Kissed Dating Goodbye, “the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing” (73). An act of romance cannot come by itself– romance is designed to be carried out to the full, and with its privileges come responsibility and commitment. These are one inseparable whole, and we cannot try to initiate romance to take just a piece of it. Romance always demands more romance, and accelerates to greater degrees of expression until a relationship has been fully consummated. This is a good and virtuous thing when coupled with the commitment of marriage, but outside of marriage, it can lead to nothing but heartbreak and trouble. There are those who claim that dating builds relationship skills, teaches us to work through issues, and prepares us to face the challenges of marriage. In reality dating trains young people to give up on any relationship that no longer brings them pleasure. Doug Wilson, in his book Her Hand in Marriage, decisively states: “The modern dating system does not train young people to form a relationship. It trains them to form a series of relationships, and further trains them to harden themselves to the break-up of all but the current one. At the very least, this system is as much a preparation for divorce as it is for marriage” (10-11). The courtship relationship, however, is to be entered only with the intention of marriage, and its object is not present pleasure, but the choice of a companion (Haines and Yaggy 263). If a person is not interested in marriage, or is not prepared to assume the responsibilities of marriage, he has no business pursuing a girl’s heart. Before a young man can even consider courtship, he must prepare himself to support a wife and family; as Proverbs 24:27 commands, “Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house.”

Prior to entering the commitment of marriage, we must remain committed and faithful to that unnamed future mate. If with every act of romance we give away a piece of our heart, we must consciously strive to save our hearts for marriage romance, that we may give them wholly and proudly to one lifetime partner. In the same way, outside of lifelong commitment, we must not steal the heart of another. While some may claim that dating holds value in and of itself, that is to say, dating is an end in itself, and it is good because it is fun, courtship, in contrast, is never an end in itself, but only a step toward marriage.

Another basic problem of recreational dating is that it distracts young people from preparing for the future. Young people are in a season of training, and infatuation within a dating relationship wastes much time that might have been invested in learning or serving. It is important for us to realize and utilize God’s gift of singleness. Before marriage, while full of energy and not encumbered by the responsibilities of a family, young people have unequaled opportunities to serve the Lord and to learn and grow. Such times should not be squandered on a train of unfulfilling dating relationships. If a young man is truly interested in a girl, instead of letting her know about it, he ought consider what traits she would deserve in a husband, and then work to develop in himself those qualities."

Shallom.

Something to share with...

2007-11-11T21:42:00.000+08:00

I guess this blog post is very very true, and very very meaningful. Go check it out! =)

http://audreygriselda.multiply.com/journal/item/88

-Courtesy of Audrey (eventhough I don't know you, but this entry is neat. =D) -

Once again...

2007-11-11T17:25:00.000+08:00

Once again... I'm back to myself. Kena rejected again lor, haha, but nevermind la, just like what Charis said, even if it doesn't work out, at least I know that I've been the best that I've been when I'm with her. =)

Oh ya, talking about that, truely this time, I take it as God wants to teach me a lesson. The following are my experiences throughout this 3 months.

1. I know how weak I am > See someone that understands me, terus interested in that someone < I pray that God will strengthen me and prepare me for whatever future purposes He has for me la, as in, memang fall for someone that I truely-madly-deeply suka, and she also must be the same oni can :P

2. I know how far I can go for someone that I truely care for > sampai the stage where if my life is at stake to protect that someone, I will go for it... Don't know whether this is biased or i'm just plain stupid la =)

3. I know that it takes TWO to DANCE > 1 fella mana boleh menari, kena ada partner ba. Must have someone that shares the same heartbeat as mine, the same passion, baru boleh menari.

4. I know that if God says NO, He really mean it > This one I'm not so sure yet, no one knows the future, including myself or her, haha, if God memang plan for us to be together, no matter what happens now, memang will be together next time, it's just that the time is not right yet and God knows what I need right now and what she needs right now.

5. I don't hate her / angry at her, disappointed got la, a bit > Hmm, I wonder why also, disappointed will make me grow but I know I should have hated her / be angry at her for what I've done, what I've shown to her but none wor... totally, and seriously, it's weird. Kinda relieve also, dunno why... But what I know is apa yang telah berlaku, it's not her fault loh =)

Through this period, of things that has happened, really felt that my relationship with God has grown, one way or another la. =)

I will still keep you in my prayer. Believe God, believe in me also. Thank you for being who you are when you're with me and thank you for being frank with me. Arigato.

Tuhan berkati =)

Helping a fallen comrade...

2007-11-11T11:08:00.000+08:00

Still praying, still interceding, still hoping...

Time is of the essence, and I believe God and time will be able to, and I'm sure and believe by faith that is able to heal a fallen comrade of mine. I take this as a new chapter in my life for no longer I love someone because I just wanna be with that someone, right now, what I truely feel is written in 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 which is:

1. Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.
2. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.
3. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.
4. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
5. does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
6. does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7. bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
8. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.
9. For we know in part and we prophesy in part.
10. But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.
11. When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.
13. And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

There, something like that la. I'm not boasting or anything, and I'm not so sure what God is trying to tell me, maybe this is a part of molding me and molding that fallen comrade of mine, shaping us for greater purposes in the future, to do God's will, to work for God, to serve Him, and to be used by Him as a tool in this world.

I still pray, and am going to pray, until something happens again.

Shallom.

Something to ponder about...

2007-11-10T13:56:00.000+08:00

Something to ponder about...

God is too wise to be mistaken,
God is too good to be unkind,
So when you don't understand,
When you can't see His plans,
When you can't trace His hands,
Trust His heart.

God bless.

-a new chapter in my life-

Sad? Happy?

2007-11-09T10:21:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure whether I should be sad or happy... Yesterday made a call and in that call, I've said something, which I'm not sure whether will "speed things up" or not. What I know is this feeling of certainty, somehow, first time happening to me. I'm certain of what I want to do and I'm not afraid to go all out for it, no matter what the outcome maybe...

Maybe it's because I really wanted this, deep down inside me, I really wanted it... But as a melancholic person myself, I always think I'm not up to it, not up to what God is going to give me, what God has blessed me with. I always think that "I'm not good enough for it..."...

To her > truely, if you're asking me whether I mean what I said yesterday and said what I mean, I only have one answer, which is a big "YES". I really would like to journey with you, would like to share your burdens, would like to be there for you, but then, what I have in mind is > It's up to God to decide, not us, as human beings who wanna strive to live for God decides. If God were to ask me face to face whether I want it or not, I would say > "Heck, YES!!!" but I would also say > "if You're going to be the center of this relationship and if You're going to bless the both of us and if this is in Your wonderful plans for the both of us".

Right now, I can just pray and surrender and fully trust in God. I believe what God is telling the both of us is this > Whatever your choices maybe, I will be there for the both of you. I will judge your actions in this friendship/relationship. If you delight yourselves in Me, I will give you the desires of Your hearts (Psalms 37:4, NKJV). Therefore basically, whatever answer you might give me, I take it as what God wants for the both of us, whether it's a YES or NO. Take your time, because this is crucial... It determines for you and for me.

Done...

2007-11-07T09:55:00.001+08:00

OK, did make a call yesterday, she wasn't feeling well again... Oh God, heal her... Somehow I can say the talk on the phone was a fruitful one, eventhough she didn't talk much bcoz half the time she was coughing and refusing to go and have a drink... lastly when I put down d fone, she said she'll go and get a drink, i hope she didn't lie...

Anyway, as the saying goes and memang experience before > the more you want something, and in the end if you don't get it, the harder you'll fall.

Terence believes > the more you pray and let it go(as in, leave it to God), and in the end even though you don't get it, God has already changed and transformed and strengthen you, and you'll be able to see things in a different perspective. <<< Maybe this one is to make oneself feel better eventhough he/she has failed...

Yesterday was talking to Soo How about life partner stuff, as he was telling me his plans for his future, I was telling him something like this >>> You know, I believe that God will grant us what we want(in the context of gf/bf later become wife/husband), if He sees that we have put effort in it, as in, we pray and fast for it, and deep in our hearts we really want it, but the thing is, if and only if we surrender that matter to God at the same time and if both parties (the guy and the girl) also praying and longing for God and each other. It takes two to tango what...

It takes two to tango, both parties also must have feelings for each other. The question is > is "uncertainty" good or not good? How would you react if the girl/guy that you like is not so "certain" of their feeling towards you? Dunno whether their feelings are of love, sister/brother in Christ, just a friend...

To me, everyone has their uncertainty and until they came to a point in live where they have to make a decision, either it's all or nothing, because sometimes we do need to take that step of faith, right? Not blindly but by praying and fasting and asking God and yourself, if memang you pray that day and you got this feeling of at peace in your heart, take that as what God really wants you to do, and do it, eventhough you're uncertain, but go and take that step of faith! =)

Terence's reminder: I won't do anything drastic that will "speed" up things, but I will let God decide whether I'm the one and I will let you decide whether the answer is "all" or "nothing".

Tuhan berkati.

Disappointed?

2007-11-06T20:17:00.001+08:00

I've disappointed someone... again... the second time, and I don't feel good about it...

Actually, I don't really know why am I angry when she didn't reply me (was chatting in Skype). She was chatting with her friends and I pula trying to fix my hard-disk, did something to it coz I wanted to install Windows Vista. Haha...

The funny thing is, I got angry when the replies are quite late (actually, I was looking at my notes also, in slides), but kinda learnt my lesson la... Now I'm sure that if I'm studying, never on my Skype, nanti jumpa dia, tangan gatal mau chatting pula...

Messaged her twice, called her but no answer... Sad... but fear not, I'm gonna try again tonight. =)

Shallom.

Love is only perfect if it comes from God...

2007-11-06T00:18:00.000+08:00

Somehow, this thing just came into my mind, therefore decided to put it as my blog title, haha.

Did something to my hard-disk today, allocated 10GB of "unallocated space", which means free space and had a hard time of "emerging" back that free space to my primary partition. Not until I found Norton's Partition Magic. Cool tool to use.

Now, I partitioned 36Gb for my WinXP and 36GB for Vista Ultimate, mau cuba2 sahaja. Haha.

Somehow, don't know why, when we're in love, we tend to be quite... bias... if I may say so, maybe not for some of you but for me, definitely. Just trying to tell that person how much she meant to me, tiba2 also have to blow it off one... I guess it's the right thing to do... because doing what is right is WAY BETTER than doing what feels good. =)

Thank you, girl.

Tuhan berkati.

2 down, 4 to go...

2007-11-04T11:26:00.001+08:00

Just a short countdown post to my finals.

1. English for Information Technology. - DOWN.
2. Software Engineering. - DOWN.
3. Human-Computer Interaction.
4. Neural Networks.
5. Systems Analysis, Design and Management.
6. Java Programming.

1 down, 5 to go...

2007-10-30T18:27:00.000+08:00

Just a short countdown post to my finals.

1. English for Information Technology. - DOWN.
2. Software Engineering.
3. Human-Computer Interaction.
4. Neural Networks.
5. Systems Analysis, Design and Management.
6. Java Programming.

Latest prayer...

2007-10-29T20:19:00.000+08:00

Father,

I pray that You'll prepare my heart to whatever answer that she's going to give, may it be a 'yes' or 'no'. I believe that You have great plans for me and her, great people for both of us to meet, and I believe that You have the best instored for the both of us, whether it's Your will for us to be together or not. This time, I'm really, totally, surrendering everything to You for Lord, I want to please You, You and You alone. I pray that Lord, You will give mutual agreement answers to me and her. Let Your will be done.

This I ask and pray in Jesus' name, -amen-

PS: The reason I blog this down is not to show off but to remind myself of what I've prayed. =D

God bless.

This world facinates me...

2007-10-28T14:25:00.001+08:00

Today, while surfing Friendster, I thought of something, something struck my mind.

"This world is facinating. Everyone, living their own life stories, piece by piece authored by God Himself. Seeing every human being's happy faces, especially my brothers and sisters in Christ, and seeing them in happy relationships with their family members, their significant other, truely facinates me. I'm happy for them."

Emo right? Haha, dunno why suddenly like that. Think about this > If you have one super-hard-and-super-strong-and-super-duper-magnificent love life, as in, from before you know a particular guy/girl > getting closer to one another > praying for one another > seeking God for answers > success in getting him/her > getting married > have kids > live wonderfully and blessed by God in so many ways. The hardships that both of you go through, the disappointments, the happy times, the sad times and finally to be able to share this story back to you grandchildren, hebat kan? LOL, think too far ahead but somehow, I feel, quite nice lor if like that... haha =)

Thanks to my sis for "whacking" me yesterday, it was a good one sis. Thanks alot =)

Aight, gotta go off now.

Message to God: You memang wonderful la, apa pun You tahu, sometimes, You do work in funny ways and I know sometimes, when I pray and say something which I believe that is what You're trying to tell me, I have peace, somehow. Haha, I know You love me and I know You're molding me every single second of my life. Just want to say thank you to You and I surrender everything, eventhough it's hard because of my sinful and selfish nature, I pray and fast and commit myself, my family, my friends, my future partner(whom You're molding and preparing her for me), into Your hands. Eventhough I don't want to, but I know that this is the only right thing to do. Take care for me God, I know You will. Help my unbelieve. In Your Son's mighty Name, -amen-

Not again...

2007-10-25T02:04:00.001+08:00

Again, it started to happen again. This feeling of disappointment, feeling of fear, feeling of uncertainty, lies in my heart again.

Heard something shocking today, and was totally speechless, somehow, when I'm able to agak it. Don't really know what's the real situation, still waiting and wanting to hear what is actually going on.

We are human beings, memang normal ba if sometimes we like this person, and at that same time, like another person. Don't really know actually how we felt towards this particular person, and that particular person ba, but what I know is, the choice is in your hands, whether you accept it or not. God gave us that freedom, we pray, and we ask God to guide us, but do you know that whatever choices you make, God is always there for you and as long as what you do with that choice that you've chosen, as long as the journey that you take (which includes whatever you do, whatever that will happen), as long as it pleases God, God will be there for you and He will guide you through.

That's what I believe. Therefore I have to know the real situation first, before I take any actions. I hope you don't feel guilty or whatsoever, I'm a human being and I've been through your situation and I've made my mistake, I've made a decision that I've regretted... but I have moved on with my life, and now finding you, knowing that there's a chance for the both of us if we persevere and keep on praying...

I don't wanna give up...

I refuse to give up...

Not until God says, "Terence, let her go..."

-end-

Just some things to ponder...

2007-10-17T03:49:00.001+08:00

Guys / Girls, if you're reading my blog, drop me a comment / shout out at my shoutout box ya about these few questions that I have in mind.

1. Most of us are students, right? What is our responsibility as a student?

My answer: Study hard, use our results to glorify God's name. Studies should be our focus right after God and family.

2. Responsibility towards our parents as a student?

My answer: To delight them with my results and to prove to them that being a Christian and actively serving in church doesn't mean that I won't do well in my studies (My parents are non-Christians ).

3. What if we actively serve in Church / any Christian organization but we neglect our studies?

My answer: Now that's bad... If really being "too" active (definition of "too" >> serve Church 24/7 like the whole church can't function when you're not around) and that makes my results menjunam, I'll rethink and maybe serve in a smaller scale, not that I terus stop serving. What I believe is, God would like me to know my priorities right, to be a living testimony and to shine forth His light to the people that is around me. Therefore, I believe that God will let me finishup my education first, and along the way, He'll prepare me for future, to do something for His Kingdom. That's what I believe la.

REASON WHY I POSTED THIS: BECAUSE I SEE SOME CHRISTIANS ARE ACTIVELY SERVING IN CHURCH (which is a good thing), BUT BECAUSE THEY SERVE "TOO" ACTIVE, THEIR RESULTS MENJUNAM TERUS... macam waterfall 10Km... Adui...

You can tell me that education is not important, next time "cari makan" pakai otak one. Yea, I know, but this is what I believe la > Education is important as a base to prepare us, human beings, for things to come in the future. In order to serve God and to be used by God efficiently, we should (if i may use the word > MUST) at least build a strong foundation of education.

*This is just my thoughts ya, the way I think. M not shooting anyone in particular. If you have some other thoughts / canggahan, drop a comment. =)

Tuhan berkati.

Short update, REAL short...

2007-10-16T14:37:00.001+08:00

Nothing much has happened lately, been at home for more than a week and right now, am currently rushing my assignment. Hehe. That's all lor =)

Was listening to this emo song for a few days liao, hehe, memang nice, recommended by me.

Sudah balik...

2007-10-10T14:32:00.001+08:00

Weee, reached Serdang since Friday and memang, the whole week was packed. Went to uni for a short KO + PKS meeting from 9am - 11am and then terus went to church at 12pm on Saturday for dance practise, all the way until 5pm where the Saturday evening service started and all the way to TSF. To cut it short, m at church since 12pm till 10pm.

Sunday pula, went to Setia Jaya, and then Joann fetched me, Rachel and Felicia to City Harvest Church to watch a play. The church was great, core believes are the same, it's just that the culture is a bit different =). The play was great, good job, my bro mr. Hun Ter, and it's cute to see Huey Szee running around and singing =).

Had a great time chit-chatting with them and sharing what has been going on in my life. Then, took KTM back to Serdang and reached home at about 5pm. Monday pula, laze whole day, went to pay some bills and then makan and then rehat, nite pula got AJK PERKEB meeting, a critical meeting until 12am likdat (can't remember liao).

Tuesday went to class at 10am-12pm, then rush to midval to meet up with her. Then jalan2, makan2, beli barang until 6pm. I waited for a train from 6pm-7pm. Missed d first train coz too full d, can't masuk anymore. Hmm, mayb it's God's planning also. Coz i met mr. Hun Ter! across the railway tracks. both of us shouted while we're talking, haha, everyone looked at us... lawak betui... Reached ukm at 8pm, makan, then 9pm went to meeting and finally came back at 3am in the morning. Been wide awake for 18 hours straight (i woke up at 9am ma). Adui... went back, sleep, and woke up today at 11.00am.

She's already reach d airport in Sabah liao, thank God for a save journey for her. Mmm, i guess that's all la, will be updating again.

PS: Just cut my hair, hohoho =P

Mengenal-Mu

2007-09-21T17:21:00.002+08:00

Hmm, was thinking of what to do for my Java assignment, coz I need to present the assignment summore this Monday, and while I'm doing that, surfed into this song and... memang best la... haha. =)

Tuhan Berkati.

Once again...

2007-09-18T14:00:00.001+08:00

I'm stuck in my faculty, with a heavy head and a heavy mind and guess what? My coursemates just told me that I'm having a lab test later... crap... Now I'm sleepy and moodless... adui... ok la, I'll update again next time.

Task at hand >
1. SE Final Project;
2. HCI Assignment 2;
3. Neural Networks Final Project;
4. EIT Presentation;
5. Systems Analysis Final Project; and
6. Java Final Project + Assignment...

There goes my weekend...

Something to ponder...

2007-09-15T15:42:00.001+08:00

Could you be the one that He has sent?

How come I can be who I am when I'm with you?

Is this it?

Could this be?

God, urm... ??? :)

I'll pray and see what You're gonna reveal to me.

Back

2007-09-15T15:22:00.001+08:00

Weee, sorry peeps, now only get to update my bloggie. Was having exams for the past 2 weeks, just finished only but this monday I'm having another lab test and wednesday another opinion writing paper. Gosh... busy busy busy...

Lotz of things happened these few weeks, wasn't able to have CG for 3 weeks ady, this monday must have, by hook or by crook but I'm glad that all my CG members are attending churches and still on the right track la. =)

Joined the PERKEB T-Shirt design competition and the back of my T-Shirt design, the logo has been chosen! Weee!!! But only the CROSS, the SHINING thingy and the bunch of PEOPLE was chosen, but still I'm glad, haha.

Alright, that's all for this update, haha, wait for another one yea. My finals in about 1 more month... ahhh... mati!!!

*current song on my tracklist > Semi Charmed Life <>

Nah Hoc Mun, an update ah!!! :P

Mati Enjin... ??? ... !!!

2007-08-21T13:34:00.001+08:00

Something funny happened yesterday (I'm still smiling while I'm typing this post). Here it goes:

Yesterday, my KS(which consists of me, Chris, Paul, Witter, Ivan(sleeping) and Jeremy) did a combine KS with Adris' KS (which consists of Adris, Melvin, Edwind and Jeremy again). There was no praise and worship, we just did a prayer meeting (around 8.15pm) which the items that we prayed for are:

1. Mark Jeeva's health.
2. Persefahaman antara PERKEBians.
3. Tesis (Adris & Melvin).
4. Persediaan mid-term.
5. Wisdom semasa membuat ulangkaji.
6. Perjalanan rohani (spiritual walk).
7. PERKEBians bersatu dan bersinar dalam kasih Yesus.

After that, we went all the way to Sungai Chua to have our dinner. It was roughly around 9.00pm. Melvin went to borrow Shao Yi's car due to drizzling. By the time we reach makan shop, it was already 9.40pm.

Muka-muka lapar CG Adris + CG saya.

We ordered "fuu yoong tan" (telur Seremban), "chiew phai tau fuu"(sizzling hot plate tofu), "lai yauu kai" (butter milk chicken), "oung choi belacan" (kang kung belacan) and "ku lou yok" (fried pork in tomato sauce).

Going... going... gone...

The food was good, and all of them tambah nasi besar summore... Adui... The total cost of the food was RM77.00. Not bad la, once in a while what. After that, around 10.20pm, we make our journey back to UKM.

Aight, now let's go to the funny part of this whole post. Me, Witter, Paul, Edwind followed Jeremy's car back while Chris and Adris followed Melvin's car. On the way back, we sesat in Sungai Chua for a while before we found the correct path to go back to UKM. Halfway thru the journey, Jeremy's car broke down... Dunno what's the problem la (battery was good, the petrol was good, everything was fine). My guess is his car's spark plug but dunno la. Jeremy called Melvin for back up and in the mean time, we were stranded there for 20 mins. After that I tried igniting the car and it works. The car is "alive" once again. And so, we waited for Melvin to reach us and after that, 2 cars headed back to UKM with Jeremy's car in front and Melvin following behind us (Melvin as backup and this time, only me and Edwind is in Jeremy's car, to "kurangkan beban kereta" wor).

Everything was good until we reach UKM's pintu gerbang, when the traffic light changes from yellow to red. Jeremy has to stop, right? Guess what... His car broke down again... and this time, the car memang "mati" terus. Melvin gave us a good suggestion, to push the car inside UKM first, then only see how. And so, we did the exact thing (the most logical thing to do at that time). So, me, Edwind, Chris, Paul and Witter pushed Jeremy's car from the traffic lights until we pass the UKM's guardhouse. It was funny la... to have such an experience in a day. Dahla sesat on the way back to UKM, now have to tolak kereta pula... adui... While they're pushing Jeremy's care, I sempat take a few pictures. Hohoho (super sampat I tell you...).

Tolak... tolak!!!

Alright, there you go. Haha, just feel like posting this only, weee!

Tuhan berkati! =D

3rd Post: Temptations...

2007-08-17T16:28:00.001+08:00

Need God's help. The temptation and the desire of having a girlfriend is quite high these few days... Not only does this happen to me, but it also happen to my friend, my brother in Christ that's very close to my heart. Adui...

Sometimes, I do wonder why am I restricting myself in only finding a girlfriend that is a believer. I believe that if she's a believer, God will somehow bless our relationship (if that relationship is based on God and if we totally surrender ourselves to God). Maybe that's why my scope in finding a girlfriend is:
1. She MUST be a believer in Christ.
2. Her love for GOD MUST be strong.
3. If I ever really wanna go after this girl, my intention is to bring her relationship with God closer, and not bringing her relationship to me closer (I don't really know how to put this into words...).

Hmm, only those who really know me will understand what I'm trying to say... haha. By the way, the temptation of having a non-Believer girlfriend is quite high also. Nonetheless, I'm still gonna wait on God and wait for now. God knows when is the time that WONG CHING HOW is ready for a relationship.

Till then. Adios. =D

Tuhan berkati.

2nd Post: What a sight... =D

2007-08-13T09:23:00.001+08:00

I've been singing in Artisukma Choir for 2 days straight, since Saturday and woke up at 6.45am... Super tired...

But in that midst of sleepiness (what to do... tiring la... :P) and busyness (running here and there "lambung" and baling "people"). Somehow I felt like... rejoicing with the graduates. It's like... unexplainable la... not until when I went back to my room and did my quiet time, that I realise there's this particular verse that struck me...

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
- Romans 12:15 -

Quite true ya. To me, during my convocation, I would like to see my friends, my brothers and sisters in Christ, my parents and my significant other (if I have one la har :P) to be with me, celebrating with me and REJOICING with me. If during my convocation, there's only my parents and not a single brother/sister in Christ REJOICING with me... erm... kinda sad la... terasa juga...

Moving on...

What a sight I tell you... First time in my life see a real-life drama. Haha. Never thought that there's going to be a guy that asks for a girl's hand in marriage just after the girl's convocation. To me, I was kinda speechless and happy for the girl at the same time.

Below are some of the interviews that I've made with a certain number of people that witnessed that sight:

"Ei... very touching la..."

"Wow... I'm speechless..."

"Adui... lawak..."

"Hou kaam yan ahr..."

Congrats to you, miss-ex-Artisukma-Choir (sorry ya, kinda forgot your name ady... it's the thought that counts ma =D).

Aight, gotta cabut now. Arigato and God bless. =D

1st Post: Weee~~~ 3rd Blog... :P

2007-08-10T00:34:00.001+08:00

Muahahaha, this is ma third blog, since the first one I had when I was 18 (xanga) and then switched to friendster's blog and finally in blogspot. I hope this time, I'm really settling down here la... hohoho.

Very tired now... dunno what to say. Good nite peepz. God bless. I'll write more... I promise... =.=